Should I wake DS for his trip?

[BerryTwister]

DS age nearly 20, home from uni for the holidays. He’s going to an event in another city tomorrow with 2 friends, getting a train around 8am. The plan was to have an early night, get up early, I’m driving them to the station.

DS and one of the lads he’s going with ended up going out, they’re still out, clearly clubbing, which means DS won’t get home till gone 5. He has to get up about 6.30.

I’m annoyed as I’ve paid for this event, as a birthday present, and DS has been really looking forward to it, but now he’s going to be hungover and feel like crap all day.

I doubt he’ll have the presence of mind to set his alarm, and his 2 friends are equally hapless. The friend who hasn’t gone out is very laid back and won’t really care what happens.

Should I set my alarm to get up and wake him? Or should I leave him to face the consequences of his actions?

Wake him up. He can decide then if he goes. We've all been young (and stupid.) Also, 6.30 isn't that early for you to wake up (I get up at 5.55 for work) and you can hopefully go back to bed!

wake him up. This isn't so deep!

Agree with pp. Wake him up. If he rolls over and goes back to sleep then that's his choice.

I get up at 6 in the week for work. I value my weekend lie ins. Mind you, I can’t sleep tonight so I’ll probably be awake anyway.

Why wouldn’t you? He is allowed to have fun, he is only 20..

My teen dd would have 3/4 hours sleep and be fine to go to the event It’s different when you are young.

You sound resentful op, I might look at why you feel that way about him/life.

Ah, wake him, you are getting up to take them to the station anyway. We’ve all been young and done stuff like this. I’ve had many times like this in my younger years, had an hours sleep and been up to do something the next day, it’s the advantages of youth, you can do it, even if you feel a bit crap. Help your kids out when you can even when they’re adults. As a pp said, think about why you seem to be so resentful of him having a good time. If he feels like shit tomorrow, it’s his problem and he’ll deal with it.

I would wake him op. Feeling like crap all day will be punishment enough!

Options - wake him up and send him off with some panadol. He's young, he will recover and have fun.

Or, don't wake him up, money wasted, everyone has a bad day.

I know which option I'd go with.

She sounds resentful because she spent her hard earned money on something for him and he's possibly going to let it go to waste.

Very easy to be laid back about something that has no impact on you whatsoever!

At his age I would have just stayed up all night.

it’s not a given he’ll go to sleep.

I would wake him.

I really don’t think it’s that deep!

OP clearly stated she paid for the event as a gift, so I appreciate she will be annoyed if it is wasted because he chose to go out clubbing the night before (and has yet to come home!).

I’d wake him at 6:35. That way, you know he was on track to be late.
He’s young, his hangover will be nothing ‘hair of the dog’ can’t fix.

Wake him up. Is it a long journey? Maybe he’s just thinking he’ll sleep on the train. But at 20 you can do without much sleep anyway.
Then you get back home and back into bed, no harm done.

It won’t be wasted if she wakes him. He’s young, he’ll get on with the day hangover or not. Hangovers at that age often are nowhere near what they are when you’re older anyway. My son, also home from uni, has been out drinking tonight, just got home. He’ll be up in a couple of hours for a run, will take the dogs out and then he’s off to a theme park for the day. I’d be feeling like death, but he has youth on his side and will be fine. I think some people forget what they did in their 20s and how much easier you cope with alcohol and little sleep.

I’d wake him, he’ll be fine at his age. If you don’t then you’ll definitely waste the money paid for the trip, and everyone will have a bad day!

Plus he has youth on his side, even in my mid twenties I used to go out until 3/4 in the morning then hold down a corporate job the next day! Absolutely couldn’t do that now!

You sound resentful op, I might look at why you feel that way about him/life

That’s a very big leap! Perfectly reasonable for the OP to feel annoyed that a paid-for birthday experience is potentially going to be wasted, without it being a reflection of their entire view of their DS/life in general!

Sorry, my comment was meant for @Nestingbirds

Op, I’d wake him up and depending on whether he gets up and gets to his event or not would tell me how I’d go about things in future.

When you get up to get ready give him a shout and tell him how long he’s got before you need to leave. Let him know you’re going to be waiting in the car. If he makes the train, great. If he doesn’t, you woke him up and the rest is on him.

That's a bit patronising.

OP either has to get up early herself to wake him up in time (she has said that she has to get up at 6.00 am every week day for work), or accept that the money she has paid for his birthday treat will be wasted. It is annoying.

He'll be fine at his age.

Wake him up with an upbeat song.
Ricky Martin "Living La Vida Loca" should get him moving.

I'd wake him up but if his not home yet perhaps he will not go to bed anyway. Don't waste your money by letting him sleep in he can sleep on the train.

If he is still out and has a phone maybe msg him to remind him to set an alarm now. Or leave a note on his bed.

I do love AIBU but sometimes I wonder why people ask questions they must know the answer to? If you already awake then why would you not wake him up to enjoy a trip you’ve paid for?