Should I wake DS for his trip?

[BerryTwister]

DS age nearly 20, home from uni for the holidays. He’s going to an event in another city tomorrow with 2 friends, getting a train around 8am. The plan was to have an early night, get up early, I’m driving them to the station.

DS and one of the lads he’s going with ended up going out, they’re still out, clearly clubbing, which means DS won’t get home till gone 5. He has to get up about 6.30.

I’m annoyed as I’ve paid for this event, as a birthday present, and DS has been really looking forward to it, but now he’s going to be hungover and feel like crap all day.

I doubt he’ll have the presence of mind to set his alarm, and his 2 friends are equally hapless. The friend who hasn’t gone out is very laid back and won’t really care what happens.

Should I set my alarm to get up and wake him? Or should I leave him to face the consequences of his actions?

And you've taken the money from him? My god. I'm so happy I grew up with a more understanding (or at least less vitriolic) mother.

Oh to be nineteen again! I remember promising myself, on more than one occasion, that I would go out but not drink because I had something important the next day

I empathise.
I think, when things have calmed down a bit it might be good to mention how you had to wake up at 6.00 and jump in with lifts because they were incapable and ask him (nicely) do you think that is fair, and what's his plan for next time?

Can he drive yet? I'd be asking him to pick me up from a night out with the gals.

Also.. re the drinking...Its becoming more and more expensive. I think as time goes on and he's job hunting, he will find it a lot more difficult to get ratted. Let him know that you won't be subsidizing alcohol marathons.

It is hard though.. They have their own unassailable logic at that age. But they do get better... if this is just a lapse/phase/dip try not to worry too much. I started texting I'm going to bed in 10 minutes, so you will need to organise an Uber home.. or I'm going out tonight so I will not be able to drive you and its surprising how communicative they were then ( but they'd know if it was an emergency I'd get them)

I think you were right to facilitate his trip as you'd paid for it and done the organising... but he did learn that he couldn't continue drinking and that it affected his enjoyment... so its all part of the learning curve.

I think you did great, you're a good mom. I hope your son knows that too. I also hope he apologizes for the worries he's caused and that maybe you and him could have a good talk about all of this. ❤️‍🩹

If he has gone to sleep wake him up. At that age I probably wouldn't bother even going to bed if I got home around 5am. If he feels like crap while on his trip, that's his problem not yours.
I'm also late to this party, so I'll go check the comments to see what happened.

Do kids not have any backbone now?

When I was that age, got paid weekly on a Thursday - cash - so the overnight bag went to work with me - clean undies and toiletries - I landed home Sunday at some point. Even when I moved on and was a trainee manager and might be starting at 5am. I would go in straight from the party the night before

At 20 I worked hard and played harder

I certainly didn't have parents waking me up or lifting and laying me , public transport and two alarm clocks - one outside the bedroom door to nurse I got out of bed

I was late for work once in my first ever job ( 4 years ) and that was down to snow. I had one day sick from my nest - another 4/5 years

Teens and young adults need to find their way, not be wrapped in cotton wool

So because you had a doormat mother who didn't teach responsibility with love that means OP should? Wow. We can see what being taught no responsibility has done in your case.

I certainly didn't have parents waking me up or lifting and laying me , public transport and two alarm clocks - one outside the bedroom door to nurse I got out of bed
I was late for work once in my first ever job ( 4 years ) and that was down to snow. I had one day sick from my nest - another 4/5 years
Teens and young adults need to find their way, not be wrapped in cotton wool

Exactly this.

Not when his been given a gift for next day, my children had more sense when they were that age, and lot younger, so did I ..obviously you didn’t snd still don’t by the sounds of it 🙄 Still takes all sorts.

I would wake him up. I know he's a young adult and I know you feel a bit peed off that he's not giving his present due consideration/ appreciation, but I don't see this as babying him necesarily. For me it is more in the vein of I'll be waking up early anyway and I know he's going to struggle, so I'll do him the favour and give him a shout. By not waking him, and him potentially sleeping in and not making the most of the trip, what do you achieve? Nothing really.

@pinkstripeycat August birthday, he’s 20 this week, youngest in the year at school.

£5 is a very low fee for washing alcoholic sick off clothing.

My point was when we are young we can make decisions we would never make when we are older ..
Yes , I definitely wasn’t full of sense when I was younger , You do get wise with age though 🤷🏻‍♀️..

Give yourself a Pat on the back , by the sounds of it always would have been Miss sense & sensibility though !

Don’t be mean!!! Wake him up he’s your son! Why punish him for having fun?

It's been over for a day, @GentleJadeOP . Read all the OP's posts.

You've come along after the event. It's already taken place and they are long back now. 🤣🤣

Can't believe this is even a dilemma for you. Of course you wake him up. Were you never young? You don't have a clue what he gets up to at uni either.

Can't believe you haven't even bothered to read the thread.

Oh but I have read it. Sorry!

This.

I just come here to be entertained. Sometimes you wonder how some people get through life….