What are the worst cafe crimes?

[TheLastSherbetLemonInTheJar]

Yes I know that running is a cafe is incredibly hard and many are struggling but I wondered what your cafe/restaurant pet peeves are?

Mine include having only white sugar for coffee and no brown. It’s amazing how often this happens even in very nice cafes so I bought some brown sugar sachets to keep in my bag.

Margarine instead of butter. Of course they should offer margarine but I expect to be able to have butter(Unless I’m in a vegan cafe)

Teapots that drip everywhere.

This doesn’t really affect me but I always feel sorry for people who have coeliac disease when the only cake option is a brownie.

And a particularly petty one. When they remove my favourite item from a menu. I know that they have to change it sometimes but it’s so annoying when you can no longer get something that you’ve been ordering and enjoying regularly.

What are your little cafe/restaurant annoyances?

No gluten free options is the worst one. I don't mind a brownie, but at least have one sweet and one savoury option.

Shit teabags.

Tiny cups for tea.

Sticky tables.

Gross toilets.

Staff who call me 'lovely'.
No wiping of the edges of tables as well as the tops.
Half-hearted spraying of tables and slovenly wiping.
Manky, sticky menus, salt and pepper pots, anything that generally sits in the middle of the table and doesn't get a wash or very good wipe every day.
And that's just a start.

Overcharging for a cup of tea . I expect to pay more for a fancy coffee, and for fancy cakes or smoothies but bog standard tea should be cheap

Allowing dogs in cafes

Lattes in those stupid tall glasses with tiny handles that don't balance on the saucer properly and are a pain to drink from. Just put it in a mug.

Using ‘Panini’ as a singular noun.

I reckon I've had to clear my own table at least 80% of the time in coffee shops I've been to recently - chains are worse than independents for this. If you're going to charge me a fiver for a coffee then least I should get is a clean, empty table.
Also, massive cakes. I LOVE cake so this isn't me being virtuous at all, but they are just too big. Often I'd love a small slice of cake, or half sized brownie.

I agree with dirty toilets. It doesn’t matter how good the cakes and coffee are. If you have dirty toilets or tables then it leaves me with a bad impression and I’m highly unlikely to return.

UHT milk.

Sourdough bread instead of nice bread.

Sticky, crumb covered tables.
Small cafes which have more tables and chairs rammed in than there's space for so you get knocked and shoved or knock and shove.
Thick cups, have nice crockery.

Dirty tables and unswept floors. I've taken to carrying a pack of wipes so I can de-stickify the tables in most cafes.

I do not like strong tea, but I do not like tea that is as weak as piss either.
hate sticky tables that leave yuck on your sleeves
tiny jugs of milk that just are not enough
those tall glass mugs you cannot get your fingers in and tend to contain all froth and no coffee

Dusty toilets and half filled tea pots.

Beat me to it 😆

Agree with this.

Weak tea, bad quality tea bags
Not enough staff
Dirty tables
Using salad cream instead of mayonnaise
Bad value for money

It’s funny how different we all are because two of my biggest pros are dogs in cafes and big slices of cake.

Another crime is tepid tea and coffee.

There's a popular caff near me, a greasy spoon-type, which was awesome. Builder's tea, coffee from a pot, food that was full fat and traditional in many senses. Then the posh people started to move in to the area. This caff became a café and started putting avocado in a lot of things. Coffee was made by the cup and there was a hundred different types to choose from. The tea was from a tea bag with a bit of water poured onto it. Not good tea either, the weakest sort. Oh and everything was grilled. Grilled! No fried eggs anymore, only poached. Then came sourdough toast. I want white thick cut bloomer, but it was no more! I don't go there anymore.

Traditional caffs are getting very rare where I live and it's not on.

This comes to mind in some cafés I've been in.

Cups that smell of dishwasher detergent

The lack of alternative milks

There’s a cafe near me that closes at 4. It says it closes at 4 on the door. Everywhere they advertise they say they close at 4. Be in there any later than about 3:15 and you’ve got chairs stacked around you, music off and someone’s lobbing a mop around your feet. They have a little children’s corner too (which is the main reason we go) and they practically wrestle the toys out of the kid’s hands to pack back in to the boxes 🤣

It really pisses me off, I understand they want time to clean down but you shouldn’t be doing it around paying customers when there’s still nearly an hour to go. So mine is, when they make the customers feel like an inconvenience for staying until the advertised closing time.

Dirty tables with no one to clean them. And when they do, using a filthy cloth.

And I agree with the poster who said no UHT milk. Fresh only please. I had UHT clotted cream with a scone last week and it was not pleasant.

Serving your drink in a takeaway cup, even if you’re sitting in.
Pre buttered toast ( margarine )
Putting milk in your tea/ coffee instead of on the side
Edit to add : Seating you next to a crowd of other people when the place is half empty. I know why they do it but even so !