Vegetarian not catered for

[ParrotsAteThemAll]

Invited to a bbq this afternoon, just had the message they haven’t got any vege burgers/meat alternatives. Of course I could buy my own, but why should I? The meat eaters will be having burgers, sausages, chicken whilst, yet again, I’ll be offered a salad and bun.

This happens all the time and for years I just accepted it, as I was the awkward one. I’ve mostly had to cook my own too, usually in the house as the host ‘doesn’t know how to cook a vege burger’! Surely this day it’s easy to grab something vege from any supermarket, big or small. I’m not even fussy what brand!

I’ve bought a nice bottle of wine for the host and a nice dessert to take, tempted not to take it now. Of course I’ll go enjoy the company, probably eat beforehand,

Any other veges find this frustrating, or should we accept we’re the difficult ones and take our own food?

Is this part of a pattern with the same people? I suspect family members who don't approve of vegetarianism? If it is friends who you thought actually liked you, I would be rethinking the friendship, but family can somehow get away with this sort of thing for years.

It's rather short notice, but I would be tempted to do some amazing veggie dish (possibly really good marinated veg kebabs, maybe with halloumi) which all the meat eaters will want to eat, just to show them that veggie food is just food that everyone likes.

If they've only asked now, then I'd suspect they either:

1. Didn't know until someone told them
2. Forgot until someone reminded them
3. Or they mentioned to someone that they'd got X for the vegetarians and had thought that would be fine, but the other person said "oh no! You can't expect anyone to be happy with you cooking veggie stuff on the same BBQ, You have to do them something separate..." so they thought they'd be safe and ask you to bring your own stuff.

It's just straight up rude to invite someone for a meal and then tell them to provide their own food. For whatever reason.

It's particularly rude if they are refusing to buy/prepare bog standard veggie burgers or sausages that are available everywhere and can be cooked in a pan on a hob in well under 10 minutes. If that's seriously too much bother for your hosts, they just don't like you and/or find your food choices offensive.

I’m vegetarian. Have been for most of my life. I’ve never expected or needed special food, I just eat the salad and veg or whatever. It’s just what I’ve always done. I’ve been out with family and friends to steak houses and still managed to find something to eat. As a side note, my son has Coeliac, so if I’m going to a BBQ etc I take his bread with me and ask before hand what he can and can’t eat. But that’s a medical condition not a lifestyle choice.

It's so rude of them. It's not difficult to pick up some veggie burgers and ring fence a portion of the bbq for vegetarian food.

I would take my own but then I'd leave either the wine or pudding at home. I might even say that in the rush to get to the supermarket to get my own food, I left the pudding in the fridge. Silly me...

I can be petty though and tight / unthoughtful hosts makes me cross.

This is just rude. If they’re hosting and providing food, this should include you. If they’re unsure, they could’ve asked if you have a preference.

Dinosaurs to power their car? I assume you mean oil that is made from already dead animals who died naturally. As vegans are concerned with not causing suffering to animals, this does not cause a problem. If you are unsure about what being vegan means, the Vegan Society website has the definition (they invented the term 'vegan' so they should know).

The whole point of a bbq I'd to have barbecued food. It's not that hard to chuck a veggie burger on there. They shouldn't invite people if they can't cater for them.

Your friends sound insufferable.

I wouldn’t buy meat substitutes for a BBQ for a variety of reasons. I’d make sure that there was plenty of potatoes, salad, nice bread etc, and I’d put some vegetable kebabs or similar on the BBQ. But buying a pack of veggie burgers or veggie sausages for one vegetarian? No.

Even if I only had meat eaters I would always have halmoi slices , and cheesy mushrooms on offer - your “friend” is really rude

I'm veggie and don't mind bringing my own veggie stuff for a BBQ. But whenever I go, I usually find the hosts have done veggie kebabs, halloumi etc anyway and everyone eats those. I haven't been to a bbq that was literally just meat in buns since I was a student!

It’s not just fussiness. Many people are unable to eat Quorn as it gives them stomach problems and pain. I initially thought it was just me, but a Quorn rep told me 1 in 4 (I think) people can’t tolerate it.

I think if you invite people to your house it is good manners to make sure there is something they can eat - I would not dream of issuing an invitation without it. If someone tagged along i was not expecting that would be different. And if it is a recurring thing, and people are consistently not providing food for you at something they have invited you to, I would stop going.

I buy veggie alternatives for my guest who doesn’t eat meat. I cook it inside in a clean air fryer though. She’s quite happy with that.
I think it’s rude to invite and expect a single guest to bring their own.

In the past I’ve usually taken my own food - but I don’t go to BBQs any more because I can’t stand the smell of flesh being cooked.

That’s a bit odd not to share the food, I can understand them not wanting to cook meat, but they should have something for you!

Yes I’ll enjoy the company and have a good time. It’s the principle of being overlooked again that’s irks me.

Yeah, I think that's a little odd. In this day and age, veggie alternatives are easy to find (and fund - cheaper than quality meat) and there's a very good chance that a vegetarian will be present at any gathering - someone's new girlfriend or teen son or grandfather who's watching his cholesterol - so it's just common sense to have veggie choices.

That’s interesting, I used to eat a lot of quorn products but stopped as they made me bloated. I’m ok to eat them occasionally, just not every day as I once did.

It's really rude of them, it's not hard to grab some vegetarian sausages / burgers or to knock up some vegetable kebabs.

I hate trying to BBQ veggie burgers or sausages as I can't cook them without them drying out and looking shit as they cook differently. I accept that's probably on me but quite frankly I'm not prepared to learn either. It's sub-standard overly processed shite. Likewise I won't cook shit quality sausages and burgers.

My barbecues usually feature, as standard, good pork sausages and good beef burgers, both with the correctly shaped buns (and not crumbly fucking brioche) plus burger cheese (processed to fuck but it's the right stuff.and cheese is processed anyway) and the normal accoutrements. Maybe some bits of chicken, maybe some pork or beef pieces too.

There's also, as standard, corn cobs, skewers of onion, peppers, possibly apple, maybe tomatoes. And a salad or two (greek usually, maybe a caesar as well) and some decent garlic bread (home made). So plenty of decent stuff to serve if somebody is vegetarian or even vegan. Might add some chips too.

IF cooking veg on the communal, meat-infected (🤣) barbeque was a problem for a lefty-grazer I'd light up and cook on a separate one but I've yet to have anyone at mine say they are that bothered.

Actually I’m the opposite. I hate it and find it embarrassing when a host goes to loads of trouble because of my vegetarianism but doesn’t get it quite right and I’m forced to eat stuff I don’t like.

So for example cooking veggie stuff on the same grill as the meat is a no no - but that small thing never even occurs to many meat eaters. Other things are fake meat, yuck. Drenching everything in eggy mayonnaise. Preparing and cooking a whole massive aubergine or something similarly huge and expecting me to eat all of that by myself as well as other stuff.

No. I prefer lots of veggie-friendly sides, salads, vegetables like chargrilled corn (done before the meat) and I’ll bring my own stuff in foil that I can plonk on the bbq and warm it up when I want it.

I’m not a vegetarian myself, but if I was hosting a BBQ (or other event involving food), then I’d be providing vegetarian options for any vegetarian guests. It’s not exactly difficult to find vegetarian food in supermarkets these days.

It’s the same as with any other food dietary requirements. If the host is aware of the dietary requirements, then it’s really poor to not provide food that the guests can actually eat.

I’m veggie and every time I’m invited to SILs I’m always expected to bring my own food, which too be honest I find really thoughtless and lazy. Doesn’t happen with anyone else I know. I always cater to others requirements too, including providing meat as a veggie myself.