Vegetarian not catered for

[ParrotsAteThemAll]

Invited to a bbq this afternoon, just had the message they haven’t got any vege burgers/meat alternatives. Of course I could buy my own, but why should I? The meat eaters will be having burgers, sausages, chicken whilst, yet again, I’ll be offered a salad and bun.

This happens all the time and for years I just accepted it, as I was the awkward one. I’ve mostly had to cook my own too, usually in the house as the host ‘doesn’t know how to cook a vege burger’! Surely this day it’s easy to grab something vege from any supermarket, big or small. I’m not even fussy what brand!

I’ve bought a nice bottle of wine for the host and a nice dessert to take, tempted not to take it now. Of course I’ll go enjoy the company, probably eat beforehand,

Any other veges find this frustrating, or should we accept we’re the difficult ones and take our own food?

Vegan here, I bring my own delicious burger as I'm fed up with cheap cardboard at BBQ's. If they own an air fryer, I use that; I stick in a few Hasselback potatoes and sweetcorn. I trust very few people to cook for me.

Bet they drive their animal filled car though and use dinosaurs to power it.

It's not the getting food in, it's the cooking it..some veggies/vegans won't have food that's been cooked on anything that's had a previous animal. It's probably easier not to expect something at a BBQ. Or ask to use the oven if you're not fussy it's been used to cook a chicken

A dinner party it's easier to provide non meat options

Raspberry and passion fruit cheesecake, yes I could quite easily scoff the lot!

They're adhering to their own boundaries, nothing wrong with that. Quite thoughtful actually that they bring their own bbq and not putting the host out.

Yes they know I’m veggie.

if I had a food intolerance or allergy I would take my own food unless I really trusted the host in what thy were offering me. I have a friend who is coeliac, I will always cater for her.

This nails it for me, part of being a good host means you cater to your guests requirements.

If I’m hosting I make sure I’d cater for everyone attending so if they haven’t done that they are being rude. It sounds like the way you put it they forgot and have just remembered, told you in hope you’ll say don’t worry about it I’ll bring something. I wouldn’t make a big thing of it I’d just grab myself a pack of something I will eat and take it.

I'm veggie, I find I'm usually catered for, but I do remember odd occasions when I've taken my own. This doesn't really bother me. My main concern at some barbeques is that they might not be allocating a cooking area free from meat, so if I was cooking it inside on my own I might feel happier.

I think it’s very rude of them!

I think they're being mean, and very bad hosts. Are they doing it out of some sort of weird principle?
I'd always cater for veggies at a barbecue. I don't like meat substitutes, but I would do things like barbecue big whole mushrooms for burgers instead. And I'd make some really substantial salads with grains and things.
If I were you, I wouldn't go, and I'd just eat the whole dessert

My BIL and SIL had a bbq. They are vegetarians. They sent a message saying the vegetarians would be catered for and for meat eaters to bring meat. I said that it was fine and that I was fine to eat the vegetarian food. They clarified saying that what they meant wasn’t just that they would only do vegetarian food but they were only catering to their vegetarian friends. Therefore I, as someone who eats meat would have to bring my own food regardless if it was meat or not 😂😂

Sit and eat that when everyone else is eating meat burgers. After all, it's all you can eat, right?

Or you could cobble together a cheese and salad roll if they have cheese slices.

If the bbq is this afternoon and they’re only letting you know now it sounds like either it was an oversight or they got to the supermarket and were overwhelmed by the choice of veggie meat alternatives and had no idea what to go for. Yes, it’s a bit of a shame they haven’t managed to cater for you but I would just buy a packet of veggie burgers or sausages to take with me and focus on enjoying the company rather than let it ruin the whole event.

I look at the bigger picture, you’re going to have a good time with friends/family. You’ve not paid a huge amount at a restaurant to find they’ve not catered for your needs. I still find a lot of meat eaters get nervous about getting something suitable for veggies and vegans - for BBQs I always offer to bring something veggie - and prefer it to be cooked in the oven to avoid cross contamination burnt on the outside raw on the inside food but that’s just me. Take your gifts which I’m sure your hosts will appreciate, take your favourite veggie sausages and have a good time!

As they know you’re vegetarian, then they’re rude to invite you and either not cater for you or at least ask you much earlier to bring your own stuff. I wouldn’t bother going.

This is a non issue. You cook the vegetarian food first, when the BBQ is clean. We're on holiday: had a BBQ last night & the halloumi, peppers, mushrooms & corn were barbecued first & kept warm in the warming part, then chicken/ steaks/ sausages then done.

I'm the vegetarian (of 25+ years) so am very aware of me being the one who's annoying to cater for, but I've NEVER been to a bbq without vegetarian food- that includes more 'public' ones like bowling clubs/ school/ work ones, never mind the usual family & friends' ones. Who on Earth are you socialising with?

I'd bring along some veg kebabs and halloumi, maybe a dip or salad. It's no difference to the meat eaters bringing meat, which they probably will? But you might need to also supply your own disposable BBQ?

It seems rude they haven't done anything different for you really.

I’m off to a barbecue in a moment but the vegans and vegetarians outnumber the meat eaters! The meat eaters have the small portable barbecue and the non meat eaters have the big one!

It’s rude to invite people to eat and not provide something suitable 🤷‍♀️

Keep it at home! If they are not catering for you, I wouldn't take either dessert or wine with you.

Given that every supermarket now sells a range of veggie burgers, it's just lazy not to offer anything when you know vegetarians are coming.

I’m assuming they didn’t actually want you to come? Very strange behaviour on their part and I’d have made the same assumption as you i.e. you only needed to bring food if you wanted meat

Do they maybe think you won’t be happy to have your food cooked on the same bbq as the meat? My neice is veggie and I always provide lots of things for her but she brings her own disposable bbq and cooks her food away from the meat as she really can’t stand the smell! I don’t blame her at all really.

I’m vegan, I get them to cook my bits first then wrap it up in tinfoil to keep warm.

Depending on whose bbq, I have omni friends who prefer Beyond Burgers and sausages which makes it easier.

It's a non issue for some but not others (pp's vegan friends for example) I just think it's polite to ask, so you can make accommodations. I always cater for dietary needs and preferences

I've been veggie since 1984 and stopped going to BBQs in the late 90s because there was rarely anything to eat.