Working parents: tell me about your life?

[MossLover]

This is not meant to be snarky in any way, and I apologize in advance if it comes off that way. I am genuinely curious but also socially awkward.

Between my recent post and the (probably fake) one about OP’s DH wanting her to get a job, I’ve noticed a lot of…Negativity? Towards SAHPs. I’ve seen multiple people say essentially the same thing, that they think working parents do everything SAHPs do, but also work jobs. So I’m just curious as to how that can be possible, and was wondering if you could tell me:

Are you single or partnered? (If separated, what’s the custody situation?
What are your working hours like?
What age are your children, and who cares for them while you are working?
How much quality time do you get with your DP and children?
What is it like if you get sick? (Do you actually get to rest?)
How do you go about feeding your family? Do you often eat out/carry out? How much time do you spend cooking, and what kind of meals do you make?
How often do you grocery shop?
How much sleep do you get on average? How much exercise?
What size is your home? Do you have a garden to maintain?
Do you have pets, and if so, what kind?
Do you have a chore schedule? How often do you do laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, tidying, lawn care, etc.? (I know somebody’s going to say “as often as it needs doing,” which is not a particularly satisfying answer)
(if this applies) How do you put multiple young children to bed at night? (Cuz mine takes forever; I couldn’t imagine having more than one!)

Thanks in advance!

Oh, and how much free time do you get? Do you have hobbies?

Mumsnet is a hotbed for either distain of SAHM or distain for WOHM. Especially on AIBU.

I wouldn't worry about it.

I’ve seen multiple people say essentially the same thing, that they think working parents do everything SAHPs do, but also work jobs.

Who else would be doing it? Perhaps SAHP’s could say what kind of tasks they would have to do that a parent with a job wouldn’t?

The rest of the post is more akin to a census and I would never put that volume of lifestyle data online.

That is a lot of questions.

I just want to highlight that if you have the strength in you to make something work - you will and you do. If life puts you in a position where you need to stay at home with your kids - you will find that strength. For those of us that work and manage a household, we make it work.

Are you a SAHM? Just think everything you need to do in the home, but instead you have huge periods of time where you have to be at work. So you are not at home. And when you come home, you deal with home life.

I worked 9-5, as a single parent with the help of family. I just made it work. The house was messier than it should have been - but I usually caught up on housework over the weekend. I mastered 30 minute quick meals - often using lots of pasta!

We just get on with it.

I’m married
im out from 7.15 to 5.30 weekdays at work
dc are 13 and 10 now but I have always worked ft. dh does the school run
i get plenty of time with them- we eat breakfast and dinner together everyday and lots of weekday evenings transporting them to activities that allows us to chat. Lots of family time at weekends and school holidays.
if I’m sick I will take time off to rest and recover but this is rare.
get shopping delivered or do gusto etc, dh does most cooking.
exercise with pt twice a week
large ish home with low maintenance garden, dh loves to garden.
cleaner comes once a week, keep on top of laundry and other chores daily, like wipe down surfaces after each meal, put a load of washing in each morning.
have a cat.
bedtime easy now dc are older but used to be a lovely routine with bath and stories.
hobbies- read /audiobooks. Strength training. See friends. Rarely watch tv.

”Perhaps SAHP’s could say what kind of tasks they would have to do that a parent with a job wouldn’t?”

Isn’t it obvious that SAHMs do far more hours of solo, hands on childcare than WOHMs?

Im always confused by that question, which is always, always asked as some kind of “gotcha”.

Equally it’s obvious (surely?) that WOHMs squeeze housework into the time around work, in a more pressurised way than SAHPs.

Neither are easy. I don’t know why it all gets so tribal.

Well, I assume somebody is minding your children while you’re working, and if they’re in school or a nursery, they’re not actively making a mess of your home, at least.

FGS, it wasn’t asked as a ‘gotcha’ it was a genuine question. If this is one of those threads though I cannot be bothered.

I don’t have a gardener, cleaner etc. and I have a school aged child and so am well beyond the nursery / young child messing up my house phase, so that’s why I was wondering who else would be doing it. If you are parenting younger children that’s very different.

I couldn’t recollect any task that a SAHP would do that I don’t (but I am also a SP, so it’s easy to know who is responsible for everything in my house ).

Married but DH works away.

I work 3 x 13 hour shifts a week. Usually nights. I’m exhausted.
Dc’s are 14 and 18.

DH thankfully picks up the slack when he’s home.

menopause is currently ruling my life

DH works away for 2/3 months at a time

I'm a working parent. I took off a year for each of my 2 kids but I don't really have the patience for 24/7 parenting (we don't have any family help) so we do use childcare for the toddlers. As I see it, working parents do a lot of what SAHPs do but clearly so many hours of childcare and often will try and squash more housework and DIY into non-working hours but just cut corners as needed. They don't have the frustration of dealing with unreasonable and erratic children all the time with no break. I think being a SAHP is much harder than working otherwise I would've chosen to keep doing it.

My DH and I work together and rely on flexible working (WFH and different hours). Whoever is working in the office is out the door at 6.30am and back at 6pm every weekday while the other does the drop-offs/pickups to daycare and WFHs. We do simple home-cooked meals (sometimes started during the WFH lunch break, sometimes batch-cooked, sometimes just quick).

We have a big garden and get the kids outside with us to garden on the weekends. House could be cleaner but we do what we can manage. We both just pitch in. I do more around the house but DH does manage the finances and fills cars etc. Grocery shop is done on the weekend by one parent with a child in tow.

Bedtimes one parent takes 4yo and 2yo to their bedroom at 7.15pm and have about 30min for 2 books and 2 songs. They make a lot of noise in their room for 30min or 60min after but we don't care too much as long as they stay in bed.

It is hard work and a lot of juggling, especially when someone gets sick.

Well I do everything you have listed apart from childcare a few days a week, split with my partner of course.
All bedtimes,washing, cooking, cleaning, shopping and household admin. I play with my child and take them out to interesting places.
I maintain my garden and home including diy and take care of pets/vet trips.
I am not sure what you want with this thread. Working mums do everything stay at home mums do in less time. Stay at home mums can also have cleaners or get takeaways it’s not unique to working mums or a badge of honour to do it all yourself

Are you single or partnered? (If separated, what’s the custody situation? - Separated with 50:50 custody. Basically it’s 2:5:2:5 over two weeks
What are your working hours like? I work
mon-fri 8:00-4:30, but I wfh most Thursdays and Fridays. I have flexi time so I can drop my dc and collect them myself when suits with my schedule.
What age are your children, and who cares for them while you are working? They are 11 and 9, they are in school and then after school service.
How much quality time do you get with your DP and children? Every weds and Thurs evening , every second weekend from Friday through to Monday morning (when I drop them to school)
What is it like if you get sick? (Do you actually get to rest?) that depends on whether I get sick when they are with me or not. But yes they are old enough now where if I am sick, I can tell them and I can bring myself to bed to rest and they can sort most things except dinner I suppose. But I’ve never been THAT sick that I can’t cook a dinner. If I needed support then my parents would help out if asked.
How do you go about feeding your family? I cook dinners on my days. I cook anything from stirfry with rice, pasta dishes-bolognaise, bakes etc, meat, potatoes and veg etc. I make roasts, lasagnes, shepherds pie, pizzas with salad, Anything really.
Do you often eat out/carry out? Yeah probably once a fortnight.
How much time do you spend cooking, and what kind of meals do you make?I answered that above I spend about 30-40mins on a weeknight and then on weekends a bit more depending on the dish
How often do you grocery shop? Once every 10 days I think. It depends on what’s going on, sometimes I go in and do a big shop and sometimes I get a smaller delivery, it tends to alternate.
How much sleep do you get on average? 8 -8:5 hours a night
How much exercise? This is where I fall down- none really but I’m going to join a gym soon and I plan on getting 2-3 sessions a week completed (on mornings and the weekends I don’t have my dc)
What size is your home?! 3 bed bungalow (rural) Do you have a garden to maintain? No I rent and the garden is maintained by the owner
Do you have pets, and if so, what kind? No.
Do you have a chore schedule? No How often do you do laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, tidying, lawn care, etc.? (I know somebody’s going to say “as often as it needs doing,” which is not a particularly satisfying answer) I do most of this as I go, I don’t let my house get really messy. Laundry I do 2-3 loads a week on average.
(if this applies) How do you put multiple young children to bed at night? (Cuz mine takes forever; I couldn’t imagine having more than one!) doesn’t apply anymore, but when they were young I would put them to bed at the same time mostly. One would read/play with a toy while settled the other etc. I can’t really remember.

I’m a single parent to two primary aged kids, one with special needs, both in mainstream school. We have a 4 bed house (one bedroom is my office) with a garden.

my ex has custody Sat morning - mon morning every other weekend plus has around 4 weeks a year of school holidays.

I’m self employed with a couple of fixed contracts. I work two days 9-5 when the kids go to after school care and two days 9-3 when I pick up. On the last day I sometimes work, sometimes have time free. I flex my hours in the holidays and so get plenty of time off with the kids, plus they usually do a week or two of holiday clubs. This works really well.

About 20 days a year I have to be in London for meetings or conferences and this is always a bit of a nightmare. I patch together care for these between breakfast and after school care and my ex and my parents but am often late to arrive / early to leave / stressed.

I don’t do everything that a sahm would do. I have a cleaner and a gardener as well as the after school club. The kids have school dinners every day which feels like a big compromise for me (the food isn’t great) but let’s us have a relaxed sandwich type tea a couple of days a week to fit round clubs. My standards for both parenting and house tidying are lower than they would be if I was a sahm.

But, I love that I’m giving them a realistic role model of a working parent without them spending hundreds of hours in childcare. We’ve got a good balance I think.

we’ve got a cat. At bedtime I put the eldest to bed first and she reads to herself. Then I put the youngest to bed. Then I go back in to the eldest for a cuddle and to turn out the light.

Ive been a single parent for a long time and so the kids completely understand the positives and negatives of that. If I’m a bit sick I just push through. The once or twice that I have been so sick I can’t do the school run they have to get themselves completely ready for school and then a friend has dropped/picked up.

Are you single or partnered? Married

What are your working hours like? Full time but flexible because I work from home and for a global company so sometimes meetings are at 7pm, other times they’re at 6am.

What age are your children, and who cares for them while you are working? 10 yo, she’s at school.

How much quality time do you get with your DP and children? I never really understand this question, what is ‘quality time’ I’m in the presence of both from 5pm- bedtime weekly (roughly) and all weekend. Sometimes that’s actively engaging with each other, other times we’re in the same space doing other things - homework, housework, reading, playing computer games, browsing internet, cooking, gardening. Other times we have days out at local events, cinema etc. do all of those count as quality time or just some?

What is it like if you get sick? (Do you actually get to rest?) If I’m really properly sick, like when I was admitted to hospital then DH drops everything and takes the lead. If I can be mobile then I just crack on but moving at a slower, less efficient pace and we deal with a few days of crap food and messiness.

How do you go about feeding your family? Have a load of good meals that can go from fridge to plate in about 30 minutes, cheat by buying ready chopped veg. Stir fry, pork loin steaks with broccoli and corn on the cob, sausage tray bake and so on

How often do you grocery shop? Weekly

How much sleep do you get on average? 5-6 hours

How much exercise? Gym or swimming 3 times a week

What size is your home? 3 bed Do you have a garden to maintain? Yes, not massive though.

Do you have pets, and if so, what kind? No

Do you have a chore schedule? How often do you do laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, tidying, lawn care, etc.? No, I just do stuff as needed. I use the couple of minutes while…. So while the kettle is boiling I sweep the kitchen floor, while the pan is heating up I mop the kitchen floor, while DD is eating breakfast I do the washing up…..

I’m single, no Dad/ partner on the scene or contributing financially. I’m a teacher so including commute I’m out of the house 7am - 5.30pm with usually another hour to do after DS in bed. DS is three and childcare is split between my parents and nursery. I don’t get much quality time in the week but I enjoy lots of time in the school holidays with DS. If I get sick it is really hard, but as a teacher I get full sick pay so can rest when DS in nursery. We eat at my parents and sister’s houses several days a week, I batch cook for the other days. Shop once a week online. Get around 6 hours sleep. Exercise once a week or every other week. Small house, garden I can’t keep on top of. No cleaner, I do it here and there, house always messy. Two cats.

happy single, honestly couldn’t be arsed looking after a man. But I wouldn’t mind being able to afford a cleaner.

Are you single or partnered? (If separated, what’s the custody situation?
Married
What are your working hours like?
I work full time over 4 days. I WFH though (I changed careers so that I could do this). I start at 7am and work til 3.30 then I pick the kids up from nursery. I then work a couple of hours when they're in bed. Husband does morning breakfast and nursery run before he starts work at 8. Kids go to my in-laws one day and I work a long day that day (7-6). My husband works more than full time including Saturday mornings.
What age are your children, and who cares for them while you are working?
3 and 2. They go to nursery 3 days a week and in laws one day a week. I have them on a Friday. Nursery costs 1.2k a month.
How much quality time do you get with your DP and children?
Kids, I have evenings from 3.30 some days, all day Friday, weekends. Husband, whenever we're together! Kids are in bed by 7.30 so after a bit of sorting we'll watch something or just chat.
What is it like if you get sick? (Do you actually get to rest?)
Yes I do. They still go their arranged childcare then my husband will make sure he takes care of everything including the children when they're home.
How do you go about feeding your family? Do you often eat out/carry out? How much time do you spend cooking, and what kind of meals do you make?
Hardly ever eat out. Often stick a Bolognese or similar in the slow cooker on my lunch break. Or quick stir fries etc. Our in-laws cook for us once a week when we pick up.
How often do you grocery shop?
Weekly delivery.
How much sleep do you get on average? How much exercise?
Sleep 7-8 hours. I workout from home 3 x 30 mins at home. I run a couple of nights week and my husband I take it turns to go on a long run at the weekends.
What size is your home? Do you have a garden to maintain?
4 bed semi, front lawn and back garden is hatdscaped. Very little maintinece although regular hedge cutting.
Do you have pets, and if so, what kind?
A cat.
Do you have a chore schedule? How often do you do laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, tidying, lawn care, etc.?
No. I have a robot hoover now so that gets done daily. I clean as I go or of there's things that need doing ill do it on the weekend with the kids 'helping'. Or I'll take the kids to their Saturday morning club and husband will have a quick blast.
(if this applies) How do you put multiple young children to bed at night?
We do one each, or if I'm working then husband will do them both which is absolutely fine. 3yo is very good and will stay in her room while he does youngest. This has taken practice!

We just do it. I love our life.

Are you single or partnered? Married
What are your working hours like? Full time office hours but flexible if urgent things come up.
What age are your children, and who cares for them while you are working? 10 and 12. They are at school - DH and I both work hybrid so are home usually every day between us. So can do a quick school run for younger one, and home when older one gets in. They do homework or chill till dinner. DH works 4 days a week. Occasionally we are both in the office and a grandparent will help out.
How much quality time do you get with your DP and children? We see each other every day! Around their hobbies we can be a bit passing ships but that’s the life stage.
What is it like if you get sick? Yes my kids are older
How do you go about feeding your family? Do you often eat out/carry out? How much time do you spend cooking, and what kind of meals do you make? I have a rule that anything I cook takes I more than half an hour - whoever is home cooks. On the busiest day of the week we have an oven pizza
How often do you grocery shop? 1 big shop a week, might grab fruit or milk after a school run one day
How much sleep do you get on average? How much exercise - 5-6 hours, swim once a week and walk when commuting
What size is your home? Do you have a garden to maintain? 5 bed and a small garden
Do you have pets, and if so, what kind? No
Do you have a chore schedule? How often do you do laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, tidying, lawn care, etc.? (I know somebody’s going to say “as often as it needs doing,” which is not a particularly satisfying answer) no , just fit it in between us often a Saturday

(if this applies) How do you put multiple young children to bed at night? They just need sending up!

Married
Work 40-50 hours a week, two days from home
My children are preschoolers and go to a nursery
I get plenty of quality time with my DP and children
If I’m ill I rest
I cook for my family every day, I get groceries delivered
I sleep 8 hours a night and exercise at the gym twice a week
I have pets, inc a dog walker
I have a cleaner who does the cleaning and organising - we do most of the laundry but not ironing. Several hours a week.
Bedtime routine probably currently my biggest issue as taking too long meaning less time to cook and rest.

It is quite full on. My only saving grace is that I can afford to outsource a lot, and I WFH a couple of days so I can fit in some jobs, deliveries, exercise and pick the kids up quite early.

My ‘time to myself’ on weekdays is lunchtime at work and my commute.

Work 9-5, 5 days a week. 1 day in office, 4 days from home so can get the odd wash on during the day but not much else (sometimes start dinner before school/nursery pick up).

After school/nursery pick up (3 kids) it dinner, then bath routine, books, attempt some reading with eldest. Usually have them all asleep by 8.30pm.

On to clothes folding and putting away, kitchen clean up, bath clean.

Sit down for about an hour at 9.30 to watch some TV.

Weekends are packed with activities but at some point I have all the kids for an hour or two while DH gets some house jobs done and vice versa, I do a couple of hours of house cleaning.

It's manic but it works.

i have 2 children now 15 & 22. I had 1yr maternity leave for first and 18 months for second child.

Both went to FT nursery. Over the last 20 years mix of FT, reduced my hours to 30 hours and now back to FT hours. Husband worked FT.

Neither of us have missed a special school event (out of 60 children my husband was regularly only one of about 10 dads - no one ever mention why not more Dads)

We both shared school runs, fair time shared for sick days. Husband shares ‘mental load’ books dentist etc Most evenings we still all eat together. I do now have a cleaner as I went back up to FT hours just didn’t want to spend Saturdays cleaning!

It’s hard, and if at any point it didn’t work for my children we would have changed hours. My eldest diagnosed with Autism she needed a lot of support with school refusal - because I worked we have access to private insurance and therapy for her. I was also able to drop hours to support her and when she then went to uni increased them again.

We both have a very close relationship with our children. Selfishly I also feel easier with retirement as I have been saving. My husband treasures his relationship and time he has given to his children, and the fact that financially it hasn’t all been on him to provide.

Now the children older we are beginning to get more time to ourselves, they are young for such a short time. It does come back and we’ve already had a couple of short weekend breaks just us two.

I'm married, but DH works away a lot in a very high powered job. If he's home, he's working long hours so the house/children fall to me 99% of the time during the week, and probably 70% of the time at weekends.

I work 4 days a week 6am - 2.30pm. I take my 'lunch' at 8.30 to do the school run. Thankfully my work allowed flexibility with my hours so that I can do the school run and be there for the children after school. I realise I'm very lucky with this, but I moved to a family friendly sector and took a massive pay cut for this privilege.

Kids are 3 and 7. One at school, one at school nursery - so both in from 9-3.15. Youngest is with me on a Friday. They go to holiday club (also 9-3) or grandparents for the day in the holidays if I'm working.

Quality time is rare in term time with DH. We make the most of holidays and the odd Sunday. We do feel like we're in the trenches quite a bit. Heaps of quality time with DC thankfully - every day from 3pm, all weekends, lots of time during holidays.

If I get sick I get on with it. There is no back up so I just carry on. Honestly, that is hard and I think that I am consequentially much more run down generally.

I grocery shop once a week whilst my eldest child is at an activity after school that happens to be near Aldi. Take the youngest with me. We eat quite simply during the week - lots of jacket potatoes, pasta, risotto, wraps etc. I make use of the slow cooker for chillis, stews, curries etc.

Sleep isn't great. Probably average about 6.5/7 hours by the time I've tidied, done the lunch boxes, sorted laundry etc once they're in bed.

I go to the gym twice a week - once on a Sunday at 7am and once on a Wednesday (as its DH's WFH day so he's back earlier). We also do a lot of biking/hiking as a family.

Our house isn't massive and is a new build so relatively low maintenance. I tidy every day after the kids are in bed, clean the kitchen etc. On Sunday late afternoons I do the bigger jobs (bathrooms, change sheets, iron school uniform etc.) whilst DH plays with the kids.

Life feels full on and exhausting, and being totally honest my health has suffered, but equally I feel so privileged to be able to be there for my children and allow them to do all the extra currricular activities, go to the park after school, etc. whilst still working. Once the youngest is in school I intend to keep at 4 days per week so I've got a tiny bit of time to get through jobs and breathe a little, which I think will help enormously.

Are you single or partnered? (If separated, what’s the custody situation?

Married

What are your working hours like?

Work full time but over four days, have a day off in the week and weekends. DH works full time in five days Monday- Friday. We both work from home now for most of the week (DH does two days a week in the office)

What age are your children, and who cares for them while you are working?

9 and 13. They are at school, 9YO goes to after school clubs on some days but ones they want to (sports, hobbies) rather than because we need them to. 13YO walks to and from school and lets themselves in etc,
so don’t need childcare.

How much quality time do you get with your DP and children?

Lots. Other than them being at school, we are together. We spend all weekend together and have a holiday as a family every school holiday (we are v fortunate to be able to do this)

What is it like if you get sick? (Do you actually get to rest?)

Luckily are quite a healthy family but if someone is sick, the other parent steps up.

How do you go about feeding your family? Do you often eat out/carry out? How much time do you spend cooking, and what kind of meals do you make?

I make dinner every night, DH makes breakfast and we sort ourselves out for lunch (at school etc) Some nights are quick and easy (pasta etc) some weeks we use Gusto and we usually have one meal a week that’s takeaway or dinner out. It isn’t something that takes up a lot of my brain space to be honest.

How often do you grocery shop?

ocado deliver once a week

How much sleep do you get on average?

8 hours

How much exercise?

mainly walking during lunch times

What size is your home? Do you have a garden to maintain?

semi detached four bed. Easy to maintain garden that I enjoy looking after

Do you have pets, and if so, what kind?

one cat

Do you have a chore schedule? How often do you do laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, tidying, lawn care, etc.? (I know somebody’s going to say “as often as it needs doing,” which is not a particularly satisfying answer)
(if this applies)

I have a cleaner once every fortnight, a robo vacuum, tumble dryer and use someone to clean my car, iron and cut the hedges. But every day I do some cleaning, just around the edges of the day like dusting, wipe round bathroom etc

How do you put multiple young children to bed at night? (Cuz mine takes forever; I couldn’t imagine having more than one!)

read a story, brush teeth and toilet, cuddles and close the door. Repeat. This isn’t a problem once they get to about 6 anyway as they can go to bed themselves!

I’m a single parent to one, 5yo DS. No joint custody, it’s all on me.

Working hours - I work full time from home, technically 9-5 but it’s a very senior role, which allows me to be flexible (though I’d say I average 50 hours a week) so I tend to work 5:30-7am, break to do wake up/breakfast/school run, then work 9-3, do the school run/any club runs/dinner/bath/bed, then work another couple of hours. Also get a few hours in at the weekend.

No formal childcare bar school and clubs. I do get some light work admin in whilst he’s at his clubs though.

No DP. I think I get a decent amount of quality time in with DS, we do a lot at the weekends together, though the mornings/after school feels like a bit of a slog but I think that’s the same across the whether SAHP or not. I’m present for it at any rate 😂

If I’m sick I’ll just cancel all the meetings I can and do the work I can from bed. I don’t think ‘rest’ is the exact word 😂 If it’s really bad I’d probably take a day off, but that hasn’t happened yet.

I get a weekly shop, and normally a fruit/veg box too. We eat mainly vegetarian. On a weekday, I try and cook as soon as we get in (there’s always a club) whilst DS plays/watches a bit of TV to decompress, so I try and keep the actual cooking to 30m or less. Spag Bol, fajitas, traybakes, jacket potatoes. I try to avoid UPF but there’s definitely a lot of frozen veg involved!

Sleep is where I struggle - I routinely get 5 hours and survive on that. I wake up early to exercise (4:45) and do about half hour to a video.

We have a 4 bed - one gets used as a study and the other spare. Yes we have a garden, I don’t do a huge amount of maintaining though 😬

No pets 😂

Chores - I have a cleaner who does the deep cleaning/sheets and a robot vacuum who also mops - laundry I do a load every 2 days in the evening, tidying I have a whip round with DS before bed to put things away. Pay someone local to mow the lawn for me.

Bedtime - DS is obviously the only child, we do reading practise, then I read him a book, then lights out. The caveat is he’s pretty well behaved, so it doesn’t drag out very long.

** I feel like I’ve found the magic sweet spot here, for now at least. Personally I feel like yes, if I were a SAHP (in my exact circumstances) things might be easier - especially with DS now in school - but it’s just not for me. I like the element of my career/separate life (plus I like not being broke, turns out working as a single parent is kinda essential 😛) That being said I don’t feel any negativity towards SAHP, we all make the choices that work for our families and ourselves. There is definitely negativity flying both ways though as people try and justify their own decisions.

• Are you single or partnered? (If separated, what’s the custody situation?

married

What are your working hours like?

I work 4 days a week, leave the house at 6:45, home by 2:30pm. DH is f/t with 2/3 days wfh.

What age are your children, and who cares for them while you are working?

9 & 11 - don't need any care really but they do clubs out of choice.

How much quality time do you get with your DP and children?

A lot of family time & time with DH although we need to go out more alone.

What is it like if you get sick? (Do you actually get to rest?)

Yes, other parent picks up the slack

How do you go about feeding your family? Do you often eat out/carry out? How much time do you spend cooking, and what kind of meals do you make?

Can't eat as a family when DH is in the office as he gets home late but do on other days.

Use Gousto etc a fair bit.

school dinners

eat out once a week - have a freezer meal once a week.

How often do you grocery shop?

all the time but shops are 6 min walk.

How much sleep do you get on average? How much exercise?

6 hours ish
Not enough exercise - struggle to fit it in.

What size is your home? Do you have a garden to maintain?

normal - not big.
garden

Do you have pets, and if so, what kind?

2 cats who are very self sufficient

Do you have a chore schedule? How often do you do laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, tidying, lawn care, etc.? (I know somebody’s going to say “as often as it needs doing,” which is not a particularly satisfying answer)

No, laundry every week. Don't have a cleaner at the moment but looking. Have a gardener & window cleaner every month.

(if this applies) How do you put multiple young children to bed at night? (Cuz mine takes forever; I couldn’t imagine having more than one!)

Bedtime is fairly long as we talk and I still read to them.