Paying for someone else's disgusting behaviour

Worryabouteverything · 2025-04-19T18:04:00+00:00

DH and I went to a big birthday party for a dear friend. Towards the end of the night 2 men decided they wanted to have a fight (don't know these men or why they had a fight) A few of the tables and lots of glasses were broken. The venue had to call the police as it was getting out of hand. Today the hostess received a bill from the venue to pay for the damage. She has now asked for all the guests to put money towards the payment. (£20 per person) There was about 100 people there. I don't think we should be paying this. Surely it's these men that pay or the hostess as it was her guests that caused the problems. I've not replied yet as I don't know what to say.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 19/04/2025 19:05

Ignore her, as most of the 100 will.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 19/04/2025 19:06

I think "wtf? No. Get it off the twats that fought" ought to cover it.

Shubbypubby · 19/04/2025 19:06

They need to claim on their insurance.

GreenSkyes · 19/04/2025 19:06

I'd want to not pay and tell her to send the bill to the men fighting. She'll know who they are.
However, if they're good friends I'd send £20 (£10 each). Your friends definitely being a CF though 🤣.

Pieandchips999 · 19/04/2025 19:07

Why on earth would you pay for some drunken idiots trashing the venue. Surely they need to pay for the damage themselves? That's between the host and them. That's a bloody big bill too

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/04/2025 19:08

"Ouch! That is a blow, I can see why you are wanting to recoup that, but I think you'd be better off getting the people who caused the damage to pay for it, to be honest."

Darkclothes · 19/04/2025 19:09

I'd suggests she pursues the payment from the men fighting, OR, possibly she tried this and they refused/don't recall/were drunk etc! Presumably they were her guests or she could find out who they were???

CF to ask the other 98 guests to pay the bill!!! I'd refuse.

BobbyBiscuits · 19/04/2025 19:09

Of course just ignore it. The people who had the fight need to pay. It's nothing to do with you.
If you were injured or hurt it's her that would be needing to pay you! What kind of friends does she have?

Flutterbyby · 19/04/2025 19:09

Nobody is getting pay that. Why would you?

Maitri108 · 19/04/2025 19:10

She's having a giraffe.

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 19:11

Reply: Gosh Hostess, can’t believe that you got landed with the bill for this when it wasn’t as a result of your behaviour and, even worse, other people also ruining what was a lovely occasion. You shouldn’t pay and neither should anyone else who wasn't responsible for the fight that caused all of the damage. Do you have the contact details of the two men involved? They need to foot this bill of course and the fact that the police were called gives the basis for this. Hope you’re ok, love @Worryabouteverything

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 19/04/2025 19:11

Definitely the men should pay.

ShinySunshine · 19/04/2025 19:12

I wouldn’t reply! Seriously, don’t!

Helen1625 · 19/04/2025 19:15

She is being ridiculous! She should be angry with the people who were fighting and send them the bill! Ignore her or send a message saying no!

GardenGaff · 19/04/2025 19:17

I'd hazard a guess that out of 100 guests maybe one will pay.

Don't let that one mug be you.

LimeQuoter · 19/04/2025 19:18

Maybe you should have a chat to others who were at the party. Then ye could approach it as a team. Then you won't be the bad guy. It's the men who caused the fight really that needs to pay not the well behaved guests. Ye weren't causing trouble

MeganM3 · 19/04/2025 19:20

Were the two fighting her guests? Or randomers that came in?
What have the other guests felt about the message, have you spoken to any of them about it?

LittleLabrador · 19/04/2025 19:21

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 19:11

Reply: Gosh Hostess, can’t believe that you got landed with the bill for this when it wasn’t as a result of your behaviour and, even worse, other people also ruining what was a lovely occasion. You shouldn’t pay and neither should anyone else who wasn't responsible for the fight that caused all of the damage. Do you have the contact details of the two men involved? They need to foot this bill of course and the fact that the police were called gives the basis for this. Hope you’re ok, love @Worryabouteverything

This is perfect. I would send this

MzHz · 19/04/2025 19:23

Do not reply. Leave it

this is not your problem to fix

MzHz · 19/04/2025 19:26

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 19:11

Reply: Gosh Hostess, can’t believe that you got landed with the bill for this when it wasn’t as a result of your behaviour and, even worse, other people also ruining what was a lovely occasion. You shouldn’t pay and neither should anyone else who wasn't responsible for the fight that caused all of the damage. Do you have the contact details of the two men involved? They need to foot this bill of course and the fact that the police were called gives the basis for this. Hope you’re ok, love @Worryabouteverything

A reply puts @Worryabouteverything right in the middle of a mess she didn’t create and has zero responsibility over.

no reply, no gosh friend, NOTHING.

It’s outrageous that the host is asking anyone to cover the damage caused by a couple of random dickheads.

rwalker · 19/04/2025 19:26

Ignore if you do feel the need to reply just tell her to pass the bill onto the 2 who caused it

have you spoken to any of the other guests

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 19:27

MzHz · 19/04/2025 19:26

A reply puts @Worryabouteverything right in the middle of a mess she didn’t create and has zero responsibility over.

no reply, no gosh friend, NOTHING.

It’s outrageous that the host is asking anyone to cover the damage caused by a couple of random dickheads.

Show quote history

Up to you if you want to ignore your friend I guess. I wouldn’t and I think my message would EXTRACT myself from the situation, it’s unambiguous. Guess it depends on how you usually deal with your friends? I don’t just ghost them.

arcticpandas · 19/04/2025 19:29

If you know her well call her up to tell her that there are 2 people who should foot the Bill and you're not one of them. If you don't know her well, just ignore. If she follows up tell her you thought it was a joke. Maybe she's trying to make some extra money to compensate for her party being spoilt.

GreatTheCat · 19/04/2025 19:30

Oh no, absolutely not. I'd tell her to pass it to both the fighting men.

lovemycbf · 19/04/2025 19:30

theres no bloody way I’d be paying even a pound towards this
it’s her responsibility not everyone else’s
cheeky cow