Paying for someone else's disgusting behaviour

[Worryabouteverything]

DH and I went to a big birthday party for a dear friend.
Towards the end of the night 2 men decided they wanted to
have a fight (don't know these men or why they had a fight)
A few of the tables and lots of glasses were broken.
The venue had to call the police as it was getting out of hand.

Today the hostess received a bill from the venue to pay for the damage.
She has now asked for all the guests to put money towards the payment.
(£20 per person) There was about 100 people there.
I don't think we should be paying this. Surely it's these men that pay or
the hostess as it was her guests that caused the problems.

I've not replied yet as I don't know what to say.

exactly
unless she signed something before booking the venue saying she would be liable for any damage caused by guests the venue can't enforce payment

If she did sign something then it's on her - she (presumably) chose to invite these people, she can't delegate the blame to the rest of her guests who didn't even know them!
absolute insane behaviour from her!

It depends how she asked. If she said that the perps were refusing to pay a penny and she couldn't make them, but she couldn't afford to pay the bill herself and would be hugely grateful for any contributions, I would give her a ten or twenty quid. If she asked as though it went without saying that we would contribute, I'd ignore her.

I'd be tempted to send her a message 'Oh funny you messaged, I was just going to say that I tipped wine on my dress during the party and it's going to cost £100 to get it cleaned. Since you apparently think that attending the party = accepting partial responsibility for anything that happens during it, you also owe me £20 - so shall we just call it quits?"

I’d ignore this initial message from her. If she sends a follow up text, I’d then respond with something along the lines of ‘absolutely not, please do not message me about this again’.

I appreciate this isn’t her fault (unless she knew fighting is typical for these men?), but as the hostess, I’m surprised she hasn’t sent out an apology message. Just a brief ‘I’m sorry about the abrupt ending, I hope everyone still enjoyed the rest of the evening and made it home safely’. I mean, if she has the time to text 100 guests and ask for money, she certainly could have sent out something to show some care towards her friends & family.

Ignore, OP. Don’t engage her. If she persists, deal with it then.

I'd also be inclined to add that you are somewhat offended at the suggestion that you had any part whatsoever in the fight and in causing the subsequent damage - which misapprehension you can only assume she is under by her asking you to pay towards it.

I wouldn’t give her anything even if she asked nicely. Thats the risk you take when you hire venues. She should either go after the 2 idiots that were fighting or set ip a payment plan with the venue.
Absolute cheek to ask the other guests to pay.

I might do it out of a friendly desire to help her out. I certainly wouldn't think I had any responsibility at all to do so.

Your a better person than me then.

I wouldn't ignore it.

The host needs to understand that they are asking something ridiculous.

The pair of utter twunts who chose to act like destructive children should be footing the entire bill.

Expecting others to chip in is nothing short of batshit and I'd have to tell them so.

I'm absolutely not suggesting that they should have to, but did none of the other 98 people - presumably some of whom were decently large men and most of whom were nowhere near as 'alcoholically-compromised' - try to restrain or eject the brawlers?

Did everybody just sit back and watch? Did they maybe assume that it would be the hotel's problem (and bill) and not that of the hirer, so just enjoy the spectacle (or watch in compelled horror through their fingers)?

Ha ha, I doubt it, I can be a mean bugger.

Small Claims court case against the men involved. Presumably lots of witnesses and video of what happened. All she needs to do is gather the evidence and submit the claim. I would imagine, unless there's something you haven't told us, that it'll be absolutely straightforward.

Hahaha. No

As a friend of the hostess I would pay but help her to try to recoup it from the people who caused the damage. I'm guessing there will be evidence so reclaiming it from a small claims court shouldn't be too difficult.

I expect there's a clause in the host's contract stating they're liable for guest damage.

The men who did the damage should be sent the bill. But, anyone who is low enough to fight at a friend's party isn't likely to. I wouldn't pay, but would back friend in pursuing them through whatever means necessary. I'm sure someone filmed it.

Very true, but I wouldn't want to confront men who settle disputes with fists!

That is very cheeky and no you should not pay and I would ignore in the first instance. If she sends out a reminder just tell her you and your husband did not cause the damage so you will not be paying towards repairs/replacement and she should pursue the drunken idiots who caused the damage.

@Worryabouteverythingif you did end up paying anything it should be after your friend has tried every other route eg insurance / going after the ones who actually caused damage etc etc and after ALL of that which could be 6 months down the line, then yes maybe helping her out a bit but right now - no.

I wouldn’t be paying for other peoples stupidity and would just ignore it
What a cheek!

'Dear friend, I will under no circumstances pay to cover the damage made by violent, drunken males who I don't even know.'
That's the males' bill. Cheeky.

Perfect

@IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta - I wondered the same thing. Did anyone intervene/try to calm things down?

This is a horrible thing to have happen at a party. Most probably the hotel is refusing to refund your friend’s deposit because deposits are there to cover this kind of damage.

Obviously, the thuggish men should pay but tbh if she’s a dear friend, I’d be inclined to help her out and pay her the £20. I’m not sure it would be entirely straightforward to recover the money from these guys in court. She doesn’t have a legally binding contract with her guests that they will behave themselves so it’s not immediately obvious to me what the legal basis for her claim would be. The thugs in question likely committed various crimes (assault/battery/affray etc) but that in itself won’t resolve the issue of compensation.

I feel sorry for the party-giver that her night was spoiled, and she’s been landed with a bill. As a dear friend, I would not ignore her message. I’d send something supportive. She must be devastated. While not ‘your problem’, there’s no way I’d ignore her and if I could spare the money, I’d contribute.

Just ignore her. If she comes back again say no, you didn't cause the damage so why should you pay?

The two idiots who were fighting should be paying.

I would not pay, but offer to provide support for a claim against the two individuals in court, be it small claims or a criminal court.