Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

This wasn't the same guy that thought Anfield was boring though 😂

We were arranging our third or fourth date via text. He suggested we meet in town and go for A MOOCH around the market then grab lunch. That was it, over.

Another boyfriend suggested a walk on the pier. We parked up then he got out and did a five minute warm up routine.

There was also the boyfriend who turned up in a bright purple jacket he'd received for free in work.. it's warm and that, apparently, was the main thing. There was no coming back from it.

All different men:
Finding out he was a LARPER by finding all his costumes in the wardrobe whilst looking for a sweater.
Flea infested house
Tiny silver star earring stud
Too enthusiastic about having made the perfect egg and bacon sandwich
Wearing a white linen shirt in February.
Organised a way too romantic picnic after only two weeks of dating.

I think I know the woman who married this chap, utterly grim

after sex we were lying snuggled together, as you do…
me: (sleepily..)” you alright?”
him: (with a dodgy Yorkshire accent..) “I’m fandabbydozy”.
🤢🤢
I should’ve have run for the hills there and then as he turned out to be a nasty violent abusive prick but I was young and naive 🙈🙈🤣

@PollyCreo such reassuring behaviour for a future partner

Same man: (who was also a nasty abusive pisshead)
saying ‘cheese and bickies’
also wearing leather pointy shoes that curled up at the ends, like aladdins.
picking up a plate of gravy & drinking it
putting on a pair of underpants in which he had clearly sharted in the crotch area.
Different men:
Noisy leather jacket that creaked & wearing a lumberjack style shirt
A photo (pre date - never went on it) of him posing in a neglected looking garden with weeds growing in between the concrete slabs, and horrible orange and brown curtains in the background.
I’m 58 and staying single.

@CamberwellCarrot78 i don’t think I would have been that put off by a Krankies reference but yes agreed it’s not alluring

He was quite a small bloke, he thought it would be funny to put my 6 year old sons jacket on himself.
Instant ick! Bye, bye 👋. Shame really!

Incels the lot of them.

I have a horrible feeling I know three of @RelativePitch's list! 🤣

Grey suit with purple socks.

Exuded a thick musky smell that curled off him and filled the room while sitting having a normal conversation fully clad.

Smiled kindly and was less than six feet tall.

Tried to get me to come to his religious services of a different persuasion.

(Different people.)

@Apreslapluielesoleil i was thinking the same actually but how could they make the reaction justifiably more extreme as a🤮isn’t enough in most of these cases

I think we must have slept with the same guy 😂 one time he was on top and sweat from his head dripped into my eye 🤮

Yeah I try not to style my men on jimmy krankie 🙈🤢🤣

@Rattymare

Yup. I was mad keen but this was damn awkward.

Another always wanted to hold my hand just as we left my house, I didn’t want too just in case we saw someone I knew.
I really was a horrible person in my 30s.
He too was a nice kind gentle man.

OMG that exact same thing happened to me. Sweat right in the eyeball!
Urgh, I remember my hair being drenched afterwards… and I had a pool of his sweat on my stomach. God I feel ill at the memory.

I think I know him? Very sweet bright chap?

Instead of dotting an "i" he drew a silly bubble above it

As a teenager he had beans on toast for dinner as did his whole family (offered me it. I hate baked beans and there was nothing else)

Same guy my cat Lucifer hated him....she was right.

Met again and had a stupid one night stand in our 30s...he was wearing brown shoes and jeans.

Other guy.....stupid jokes. Also told me my house looked like a student house...I was a student. Then told me he d left school at 16 but had his education at the "university of life".

Am happily single now.

I was dating a guy up until recently, he gave me the ick a lot, I’m not sure why I stayed with him (madness maybe?!)

One memory that sticks with me. He was the kind of guy that couldn’t be outdone by anybody, even if it was clear that he wasn’t skilled a certain area. I’m a keen yoga enthusiast, we were talking about it one night whilst in bed (naked) and despite him never having been to a yoga class he decided to show me his “tree pose”. He was 16+ stone and this naked man stood at the end of my bed hobbling around trying to do a tree pose, rather than just accept that there’s some things he wasn’t good at, still makes me laugh and shudder.

This thread has cracked me up, so funny. I’ve just remembered an ex almost crying upstairs in my bedroom because I was making a coffee downstairs and he said the smell of coffee was just really upsetting to him. Another ex would slap his hand on my shoulder before leaning in to kiss me, so weird.

This has really tickled me.🤣