Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

There was a guy at uni who was absolutely gorgeous; we started dating and I realised he was a bit camp. We went ice skating, whereupon he ended up falling over and when I laughed (not horribly, just because it was mildly humorous), he said in complete seriousness “Ooh, you bitch” and it just repulsed me.

Another guy I was just messaging with had sent me a message at about 4am. When I woke up and saw it, I asked why he’d been up so early and he replied “I was doing a poo 😆” and we just weren’t at that stage yet, so that was it for me.

Oh god

An ex of mine (this is one of many reasons he's an ex) would wait for me to get into the shower, and then come in and have a shit. He did it on purpose and thought it was funny. There was a lock on the door that he could open from the outside using a 10p piece. He did it three times before I got my revenge. He knew I was furious but did it anyway.

My revenge was evil but I fucking enjoyed it. He would use wipes and loo roll to clean himself up, but he got the shock of his life when I poured bleach solution over the pack he was using. He didn't have a clue because I'd just put bleach down the loo, so the bathroom already had the scent.

Let's just say "ring of fire" was very apt for the occasion. I made it worse by humming it throughout the few days after.

He didn't do it again. I wasn't even remotely sorry either. I dumped him not long after.

Don’t know where to begin…off to the loo, he said “Well you have to empty yourself”
same guy, kept referring to his “din dins”, also I turned up at his house as arranged (he didn’t drive) to find him cutting his toenails in front of the fire. Just carried on.

If I turned up in the morning for a day out as arranged (never offered petrol money even on long trips), he would have to lie on the floor, head resting on books for his Alexander session and I would sit waiting. House stank of cats and he held his knife in his left hand and fork in his right (he’s not American…)
There’s lots more, but I must think about my blood pressure.

And you shagged this princely sample?!

1. Back in the 90s, I dated a guy who brought a cassette recorder on our holiday to Thailand so he could record his “musings” (the 90s equivalent of a voice note, for anyone under 40). On the very first night, he whipped it out, pressed record, and in the most pompous voice announced: “What a stunning tableaux…”

I burst out laughing — obviously — and he sulked for a solid three days because I’d dared to laugh at his deep and meaningful holiday commentary. The ick was instant.

2. I also once dumped a guy purely because he lived in Hastings. Honestly, the place gave me the ick more than he did. It was just relentlessly bleak — I couldn’t face the emotional toll of regular visits.

Dust.

I'd have agreed with both those icks, but especially the skating one. Betrayed some nasty attitudes towards women there, didn't he. Mask-slip!

"There's lots more but I must think about my blood pressure" 😂😂😂

About the toenail clipping - omg yes, my exH used to happily clip his toenails in the lounge while we were relaxing of an evening watching TV. 🤮 When I suggested that that kind of thing is a bathroom activity, he disagreed!!!!!!!!!

Princely sample 😂😂😂

Had stayed over for the first time, we were about to have a morning shower together when he decided to have a wee. I learnt that the sight of a man peeing is repulsive to me. The air filled with that horrible man piss smell. FAR too soon.

I didn't contact him again. He, on the other hand messaged me a month later to accuse me of stealing his passport.

😂 this is so funny and gross. I have never experienced, or heard of anyone experiencing a guy farting during sex 🤮
it’s impressive you kept going after the first fart tbh! 😂

People...grown ass adults...who use the phrase, "Gives me the ick", give me..... well, it's just hideous. Also, I used to think I might be considered shallow but then I read this thread..... 🤷🏼‍♂️ 🤦🏼‍♂️ 🤣

How old was he? My grandad did that with his loose change.

He referred to his mother as “the walrus”. She was a stick thin and lovely lady who deserved much better treatment.

Just finished with someone like that ... only he asked if he could use my clean bath towel to wipe his sweaty, bald head with!

😂Grim!