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Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

716 replies

singlewhitetrashheap · 07/04/2025 17:41

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 07/04/2025 20:39

Coconutter24 · 07/04/2025 20:33

Please tell me that isn’t a genuine question 🙈😂

😁 no, was trying to get a laugh.

FamingolosForDays · 07/04/2025 20:40

Was also recently seeing a bloke and there were loads of mini-icks. The final one being the fact that he left his wet towel (after using my shower) on my bedroom floor. Wound me right up!

DramaAlpaca · 07/04/2025 20:44

LividBoo · 07/04/2025 19:09

He held his knife like a pencil.

I stand by it.

That would turn me off too.

AnotherNaCha · 07/04/2025 20:44

Had been struggling with the name “Ian” for a while (sorry all Ians and Ian-lovers, I was young and stupid) then he showed up with a very big white milky stain on his glasses. That was it. I was a fool as he was lovely, genuine and so intelligent. I’ve paid the price though!

PollyCreo · 07/04/2025 20:45

I was seeing a Scottish guy about 30 years ago and I got us tickets for a game at Anfield....he complained there 'no atmosphere'. Yeah, he got binned off after that 😅

Arlanymor · 07/04/2025 20:45

AnotherNaCha · 07/04/2025 20:44

Had been struggling with the name “Ian” for a while (sorry all Ians and Ian-lovers, I was young and stupid) then he showed up with a very big white milky stain on his glasses. That was it. I was a fool as he was lovely, genuine and so intelligent. I’ve paid the price though!

Oh this sounds like a tragic love story!

singlewhitetrashheap · 07/04/2025 20:48

PollyCreo · 07/04/2025 20:45

I was seeing a Scottish guy about 30 years ago and I got us tickets for a game at Anfield....he complained there 'no atmosphere'. Yeah, he got binned off after that 😅

Scottish football is on another level though, to be fair. Its absolutely demented.

OP posts:
NC28 · 07/04/2025 20:49

PollyCreo · 07/04/2025 20:45

I was seeing a Scottish guy about 30 years ago and I got us tickets for a game at Anfield....he complained there 'no atmosphere'. Yeah, he got binned off after that 😅

Was he a Celtic fan by any chance?

Gettingbysomehow · 07/04/2025 20:49

LividBoo · 07/04/2025 19:09

He held his knife like a pencil.

I stand by it.

That would be the end for me.

Lindolander · 07/04/2025 20:50

He kissed like a cat lapping up milk. After a long kiss my chin was awash with spit.
I still liked him and thought maybe I could get round the weird snogging, but he invited me round to his house and opened the front door wearing a football top and a g-string.
Bye bye!

Rpolo · 07/04/2025 20:50

Had old walking shoes that curled up at the end and wore them everywhere. My friends called him elf shoes.

BeatleBattleInABottle · 07/04/2025 20:52

He was almost an ex anyway but this sealed the deal.

He came over to say hi where I was sat with another man. He stood next to me with his legs wide apart and his hands behind his head puffing his chest out. He'd started going to the gym and I think he thought this was showing off his imaginary muscles or he was trying to show he was an alpha male (he wasnt).

If I ever think of him, this is how I see him and I still cringe for him. 😂

DramaAlpaca · 07/04/2025 20:53

There was the boyfriend I went off when I found out he wore baggy white Y fronts. That was bad enough, then I discovered his mum bought them for him.

And another one I dumped when I found out he couldn't read a bus timetable because he didn't understand the 24 hour clock. Yes, I know that's shallow.

Greentableleg · 07/04/2025 20:53

I once went on a date with a man I'd fancied for ages and couldn't believe it when he asked me out. All went well til the end of the date and he got out a coin purse ...the ick overwhelmed me in that moment! Not sure why it affected me so much, it was years ago but I still remember it vividly!

PollyCreo · 07/04/2025 20:55

NC28 · 07/04/2025 20:49

Was he a Celtic fan by any chance?

Omg yes 🤣 He was obviously expecting to come out of the ground with multiple head injuries.

Gettingbysomehow · 07/04/2025 20:59

My exH was unable to talk during a meal even when we were out with friends, he'd sit there silently with a gormless expression on his face chewing the cud like a cow for the entire meal while everyone chatted around him.
He also had a bizarre laugh like a falsetto heeheehee which he'd use anywhere we went socially. People would actually turn round and stare.

Init4thecatz · 07/04/2025 20:59

Would never EVER turn their phone on silent and would insist on picking it up at ALL times. We'd be having sex and the phone would ring, and that would be it, I'd have to hop off and it was always something pointless.

Mum would call a few times a day, and invariably around the sex times. I'd say it could wait and would be met with "oh, but it might be important!"

Plantmother71 · 07/04/2025 21:01

He lived my teeth whilst kissing me, honestly - terrible ick! It was kind of how you’d expect Voldemort to kiss? He also looked a bit like a ferret.

Believe it or not I really loved him for a long time so overlooked these things but when I knew he was an unfaithful knob the ick factor crystallised in my head and I realised I had always disliked his kisses. Weird,

singlewhitetrashheap · 07/04/2025 21:02

BeatleBattleInABottle · 07/04/2025 20:52

He was almost an ex anyway but this sealed the deal.

He came over to say hi where I was sat with another man. He stood next to me with his legs wide apart and his hands behind his head puffing his chest out. He'd started going to the gym and I think he thought this was showing off his imaginary muscles or he was trying to show he was an alpha male (he wasnt).

If I ever think of him, this is how I see him and I still cringe for him. 😂

We need an ICK reaction emoji.

ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 07/04/2025 21:05

Our first holiday together on a boat trip, all the other girls/guys were diving or jumping off the boat …. he asked the staff for floats/noodles and gradually lowered himself into the water with about 6 noodles wrapped round him.

Poonu · 07/04/2025 21:09

He crunched his crisps too loudly.

Init4thecatz · 07/04/2025 21:10

TwoBigNoisyBoys · 07/04/2025 20:31

This will instantly out me if I have friends on here, but I was seeing one guy for a couple of months who I kept getting kind of ‘mini-icks’ with… I kept telling myself I was being unreasonable until in the end I could barely look at him 🙈 the final ick was when he told me he’d give me a massage and it would be the best one ever…then he turned up at my house with a half empty bottle of Ann Summers massage oil - the bottle was all manky with the label half peeled off 🤮 (that had obviously been used on someone else!). Needless to say that was the final ick. I said I wasn’t in the mood and it got left on my bedside table. I finished with him about a week later and packed up the couple of bits and pieces he’d left at my house, and threw the massage oil in the bin. He messaged me a few days later to ask if I’d return the massage oil ‘as it had been very expensive’ …it was actually about 6 quid. I told him I couldn’t find it and offered to put the money through his door 😁

It's scary that I've had that too. Mine wanted to spice up the bedroom stuff and pulled out a box from underneath the bed. It had LOADS of half-used lubes and even sex toys.

Best line ever though...

I said I wasn't comfortable using stuff used elsewhere, and they said "yeah, but these things are expensive otherwise, I can't afford to change them with every new partner."

But the real kicker...

Confessed to me after that they'd stolen half of it from Ann Summers anyway!

Pricelessadvice · 07/04/2025 21:12

I was once dating a bloke and when we got to bed and had sex, he sweated so much that it was literally dripping all over me. The sheets were drenched and I was drenched. I felt sick! I
He was very well endowed and certainly had a lot of moves, so I don’t think it was nerves as such, I just think he obviously had quite a naturally sweaty reaction to having sex.
God it was truly disgusting.

Supporthelittleguys · 07/04/2025 21:15

God so many

1 - His little fingers bent dramatically inwards
2 - he wore timberland boots folded down at the top
3 - he thought the sun shone out my arse, total ick.
4 - he shaved his chest and it was all spikey
(Not all the same person)

Supporthelittleguys · 07/04/2025 21:18

@Rpolo 😂😂😂