Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

First love I finished with because I thought he was boring. I was a fucking idiot teenager / early 20s at the time and mistook nice, not an arsehole and reliable as boring. Didn’t ever have the ick with him but just wanted to share my stupidity.

It sounds utterly ridiculous but one ex had an annoying yawn - he always yawned in a sing song way. He also did this thing of coming across as ‘camp’ when he was nervous.
Shame because he was a really nice bloke, he treated me well and we had a lot of fun together but I just couldn’t get past those things.

A really bad kiss. Fancied him for ages and eventually went in for a snog on a night out. It felt like I was being smothered with a pork chop. Never again.

Sorry to take this a bit off topic but what did he eat??!

Gorgeous Irishman I had fancied for ages when I was in my twenties. He was a cousin of a friend and would sometimes join our large group of friends on nights out.

The minute he opened his mouth and laughed a tinkly annoying laugh killed any attraction stone dead for me. I’d heard him speak before and his accent was lovely but that laugh was something I knew I could never get used to or bear.

Well I found out when he took me back to his place one night! On his worktop were several empty cans of ravioli....god knows how he didn't have rickets or scurvy at the age of 33 😳

God, I slept with a silent man once. Didn’t even know he’d orgasmed.

Can’t think of any one my own at the moment, but remember reading one on here about having a Velcro wallet 😂😂

First date with a colleague that I had been flirting with for months.

He finished his tuna sandwich, started picking his teeth with a toothpick (and swallowing the pickings) and said in what he thought was a sexy drawl; 'I bet you are a wildcat in the sack'.

What.... like crocs but painted as trainers?

This will out me to those I’ve told, but we went out for a date and when I turned up he said “shall we have a little kiss?” Instant revulsion, and when I did kiss him it was like being suffocated with a squid. Awful. It was a shame because he was otherwise a nice bloke, and handsome too.

Instead of a wallet he had his money in one of those little plastic bags that you change coins in at the bank.

I went to school in the US. I dated a guy whose family had a literal shrine to Rush Limbaugh in their lounge.

That name may not ring a bell in the UK, particularly if you aren’t of a certain age, but he was a nutjob right wing radio show host in the 90s who was so over the top horrible and yucky (he eventually got taken down because he was illegally obtaining prescription opioids through a pill mill while ranting about people on benefits needing to be drug tested, amongst other icky things). It would be like having a shrine to Nigel Farage or Donald Trump in today’s wacky right wing terms.

But when I say a “shrine” I mean literally that (though he wasn’t dead yet at the time). It was on par creepy with the Lady Diana shrine at Harrods. Like really f-ing weird. The whole family referred to him as “Uncle Rush” and talked about him like he was physically present living with them. I mean, really bloody weird and ick. 😂

I hate this too, from anyone. Man or woman. Yuck! Absolutely no need for anyone to hold a knife like that. Vile.

He arrived in a lurid green vest with raised plastic letters that said Ibiza that his mum had bought him. Just say No.

I dated a guy once

He had this stuffed toy dog on top of his wardrobe (the type that you can win in those grabber machines)

It would sit there,watching and bloody judging whatever you did in the bedroom

I couldn't get past the ick over that dog,that was perched on top of the wardrobe just smirking at you

Plus he had bigger tits than I have-they would swing about when he was on top-i was nearly knocked out a few times

He wore mustard yellow jeans

One of my siblings points with her little finger.

She also adds extra ‘y’s to the end of many words. ie painty, shouty, foody.
Other words such as lovely are often repeated - she was a lovely lovely woman.
All a bit weird.

He did impressions of Kenneth Williams as in Carry On films, camper than a scout jamboree with full facial mugging included. He said "Ohhh, stop messing about!!" It was WAY too convincing. Makes my stomach feel slightly queasy thinking about it now, thirty years later!

Used to wiggle and try to do a sexy dance when he did things like open the fridge or load the washing machine, like he was a stripper or cage dancer. Often in his tight boxers as well. So odd...definitely got the ick

Another guy had a really weirdly loud exhalation through his nose when he breathed and talked.

I would also hate that.

This will instantly out me if I have friends on here, but I was seeing one guy for a couple of months who I kept getting kind of ‘mini-icks’ with… I kept telling myself I was being unreasonable until in the end I could barely look at him 🙈 the final ick was when he told me he’d give me a massage and it would be the best one ever…then he turned up at my house with a half empty bottle of Ann Summers massage oil - the bottle was all manky with the label half peeled off 🤮 (that had obviously been used on someone else!). Needless to say that was the final ick. I said I wasn’t in the mood and it got left on my bedside table. I finished with him about a week later and packed up the couple of bits and pieces he’d left at my house, and threw the massage oil in the bin. He messaged me a few days later to ask if I’d return the massage oil ‘as it had been very expensive’ …it was actually about 6 quid. I told him I couldn’t find it and offered to put the money through his door 😁

Awwww send him my way! I’d love this

Told me he had to go offline (chatting on Facebook messenger I believe) to shower because he had a ‘stinky winky’.

He never did get to show me quite how stinky it got 🤢

Stinky winky!

I am gag-laugh-gag-laughing right now!

Please tell me that isn’t a genuine question 🙈😂

My bf years ago used to wear jeans and a nice t shirt, then one day he started wearing tracksuit bottoms (the shiny kind) and football tops. Massive ick. We didn’t break up because of that, I’m not that shallow but the ick was real