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Original poster

Do you think these people should have gotten christmas gifts from charity?

224 replies

ThisProudGreenCat · 16/12/2024 23:51

Mum and two young children (6 months old and 2 1/2 years old). Certainly not poor albeit not rich. Dad isn't in the picture as not allowed contact with the children or the mum (can't know where they are either), basically mum had to leave her first property to get away from dad as he is an online child sex offender and breached his bail condition to stalk them.

Mum lives in a private rental 2 bedroom flat and has food on the table, can afford clothes, treats, softplay for the kids, etc... etc...

Mum found out she was referred to Christmas appeal and received Christmas toys for the kids, although the kids already have Christmas toys.

Do you think it's fair or unfair? Would you have been gutted if you were one of the people who donated the toys, thinking they were going to a family in need?

OP posts:
jinglejanglejo · 16/12/2024 23:52

No.

Do you?

HaddyAbrams · 16/12/2024 23:52

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

TallNeckedGiraffe · 16/12/2024 23:54

Do you think a family who have been stalked by a sex offender are not a family in need?? Is that what you are saying??

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Events & celebrations
MissRachelismycoparent · 16/12/2024 23:54

They don't exactly sound like they've had the easiest time. Someone with involvement of the charity obviously deemed them fit for referral so I'd get on with my life and not question it.

Enough4me · 16/12/2024 23:54

The person who referred them probably was aware that they had to run away from a v stressful situation and thought it was a kind thing to do? Don't you?

Nazzywish · 16/12/2024 23:56

Maybe the referral was done by someone who didn't realise mum was coping quite so well considering all that she's been through and just wanted to do her a nice turn in case she wasn't. If mum is offended why doesn't she just pass those toys onto a local refuge/ charity shop/ school who would gratefully receive them rather than spend time stewing over it?

MadamDicey · 16/12/2024 23:56

I would never grudge any child a gift at christmas regardless of circumstances , I would be glad to know my little contribution made some little kids smile at Christmas

Allthehorsesintheworld · 16/12/2024 23:56

No. Only decent thing I remember from secondary school : when you give, give unconditionally.
I hope her children love their toys and I hope their mum loves seeing them happy. They’ve had something horrible in their lives that none of them caused, who on earth would think they didn’t deserve a few toys?

ChunkyMunky · 16/12/2024 23:56

No, I wouldn’t mind my donations going to the family you describe. However, all of the organisations that I have worked with require the recipient to know and consent before the referral is made; if they feel that they don’t need it they can simply say so and the referral wouldn’t go ahead.

Plenty of recipients of such schemes are not in absolute destitution, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a little help when it is available. It’s about giving a little extra joy and happiness, not about passing judgement on whether or not someone’s life is awful enough to warrant charity.

CrispyCrumpets · 16/12/2024 23:57

Sounds like someone who deserves a bit of good will. Would not begrudge.

LauderSyme · 16/12/2024 23:58

Yes I absolutely think they should have gotten charity gifts and if it was my donation that paid for them I would be delighted.

I do not like your tone. How unfortunate does a person have to be, to be deserving of care and kindness, in your opinion?

skkyelark · 16/12/2024 23:59

They may not need the physical toys, but they certainly sound like they could use a bit of kindness.

I once received a gift in somewhat similar circumstances. The gift wasn't something I used, and I could have bought myself something similar if I'd wanted, but I'm attached to it because it reminds me that in a very dark time, someone who was nothing to me cared and tried to make things a tiny bit better.

Wherehavetheyallgone · 16/12/2024 23:59

I wouldn't mind at all - being stalked by a set offender and now lone-parenting in private rental isn't what I would call stress-free or financially secure. I'm glad the charity has made a kind gesture. You have to trust their criteria and processes.

SensitivePetal · 16/12/2024 23:59

ThisProudGreenCat · 16/12/2024 23:51

Mum and two young children (6 months old and 2 1/2 years old). Certainly not poor albeit not rich. Dad isn't in the picture as not allowed contact with the children or the mum (can't know where they are either), basically mum had to leave her first property to get away from dad as he is an online child sex offender and breached his bail condition to stalk them.

Mum lives in a private rental 2 bedroom flat and has food on the table, can afford clothes, treats, softplay for the kids, etc... etc...

Mum found out she was referred to Christmas appeal and received Christmas toys for the kids, although the kids already have Christmas toys.

Do you think it's fair or unfair? Would you have been gutted if you were one of the people who donated the toys, thinking they were going to a family in need?

Of course not. Your life is harder than mine and so I’d be happy if my gifts went to someone like you. Your children are disadvantaged by having a father who is not allowed to see them because he is a sex offender. That’s about as bad as it gets :(

Most people who give to these kinds of campaigns don’t have Daily Mail views on worthiness. In my experience…

BESTAUNTB · 17/12/2024 00:00

I’d be happy to help them in those circumstances.

XmasSocks · 17/12/2024 00:00

They have had a really rough time

No-one will begrudge a 2 year old afew extra gifts apart from you it seems

Wherehavetheyallgone · 17/12/2024 00:01

Typo 'set' should read set.

Wherehavetheyallgone · 17/12/2024 00:01

Sex! -sorry dratted autocorrect!

HeddaGarbled · 17/12/2024 00:01

I think it sends a lovely message along the lines of: “We see your family has had a traumatic time and we want you to know that there are good people locally who care about you”. Not everything is about money.

Fireworknight · 17/12/2024 00:04

You sound jealous.

I wouldn’t mind. Maybe they do have food, and some Christmas gifts, but we don’t know their personal details, whether they are just scraping by, who the presents are from (relatives), etc. maybe she has budgeted well to buy the presents. Having to hide from a sex offender ex can’t be fun,

StrawberryKebab · 17/12/2024 00:05

No one knows how that mum is feeling mentally and to know that someone out there cares enough for children that deserve a treat I’m sure will make her feel so much better inside
Outwardly they have food to eat, a roof over their heads but have been forced to uproot and May now be away from their family and friends and frightened. They definitely deserve anything that will put a smile on their faces

LauderSyme · 17/12/2024 00:08

P.S if it is Mum who wrote this post please ignore my jibe about tone, as I imagine you are writing from a place of guilty concern.

If it isn't Mum I stand by it! "Gutted" is a way harsh word for a few gifts for littl'uns at Christmas.

Redcrayons · 17/12/2024 00:08

Are you the mum in question?

It sounds like this lady has had a rough time and someone has recognised that they need a little
help. It’s a nice gesture, even if the family don’t financially need it.

BobbyBiscuits · 17/12/2024 00:09

I'd assume that the organisers vetted those that were entitled to the gifts, and be happy for whoever received them. What level of poverty were you willing to donate to? If it's homeless families, refugees, people without any benefits or means of getting money through work, then donate to charities that support such people.

JingleB · 17/12/2024 00:09

Why do you think it’s a problem, @ThisProudGreenCat ? Do you think she hasn’t suffered enough?

They have been through traumatic events and something nice has been done - giving the children some toys. Great!

Regardless of affordability I think she would be very much in need of some human kindness. I’m glad she received it.