Do you think these people should have gotten christmas gifts from charity?

[ThisProudGreenCat]

Mum and two young children (6 months old and 2 1/2 years old). Certainly not poor albeit not rich. Dad isn't in the picture as not allowed contact with the children or the mum (can't know where they are either), basically mum had to leave her first property to get away from dad as he is an online child sex offender and breached his bail condition to stalk them.

Mum lives in a private rental 2 bedroom flat and has food on the table, can afford clothes, treats, softplay for the kids, etc... etc...

Mum found out she was referred to Christmas appeal and received Christmas toys for the kids, although the kids already have Christmas toys.

Do you think it's fair or unfair? Would you have been gutted if you were one of the people who donated the toys, thinking they were going to a family in need?

That’s fine, you don’t have to agree.
of course the mums doing great but lots of families go through a ton of shit every year and I personally think toy drives should go towards kids that will open nothing on Xmas day.

I would not have a problem with my donation going to such a family.
It sounds like they deserve a bit of Christmas kindness.

If the OP is the mum, then no OP no reasonable person would begrudge two very small children a couple of presents at Christmas and would be happy to help the mum who has been through so much.

This. I had a similar experience and the gift meant and still does mean so much to me. It was the kindness behind it.

A normal Christmas? I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR WEEKS, INCLUDING THE HOLIDAYS, AND I ALMOST DIED!!! No, it was definitely not just a normal Christmas ffs! 🤦‍♀️

I've been on the receiving end of this. My son was in hospital after a burn (minor but needed treatment), he was quite young & upset & was given a small bag of gifts from a local charity. It put a huge smile on his face & kept him occupied. The very next day I searched the charity out online & made a donation that more than covered the cost of the toys & I've donated to them ever since. This was about 10 year's ago! Perhaps mum will 'pay if forward' when she can. It sounds like she & her kid's have had a horrible time!

I wouldn't begrudge this family getting presents at all, but given the kids already have presents bought for them, I'd much rather it was the mum getting presents- she absolutely deserves it after her hellish experience.

Next, you'll be asking if the workhouses and prisons are still open!

It sounds like they've had a pretty rotten time and you are being very judgemental. The children may already have some presents under the tree, but after all that trauma a couple of extra presents from Santa will do them the world of good.

I would not care at all and think this is a really silly and bitter post to be honest.

I wouldn't give it a second thought. Pleased the family are doing well and pleased that someone has thought of them and arranged some presents for the children.

I was entitled to the toy appeal for my special needs child as she goes to an SEN nursery and we’re a low income family. However I do have money and my child does have other xmas presents. You do realise the toy appeal only allows you to have 4 presents and doesn’t substitute for the whole of christmas??

Poverty isn't the only type of "need". I'd be more than fine with this.
Nobody actually "needs" christmas presents anyway, so it doesn't really matter whose face they put a smile on.
I ended up in A&E on Christmas day with my baby 3 years ago, he was given a donated toy. We absolutely didn't need it. But it made a miserable Christmas slightly more tolerable. I'd like to think the donor didn't begrudge him that toy because he had toys at home.

I would think what a fantastic mother to have come through all that and kept her family going. I would be happy if her children got a few extra presents from donations.

No.

my daughter was in hospital around the holidays. Nothing major. Was home for Christmas Day with plenty of her own presents. It was still lovely that the hospital gave her something to take home with her

They need to feel someone's thinking of them. Some kindness after a dark time. They deserved it. You sound sour and curtain-twitchy.

So what? Sorry, I fail to see your problem with this.

I think this is fine, they’ve clearly had an awful time. The thing to reflect on is why you’re so bothered by it. Best wishes

What a lovely thing to do. The mother sounds like a strong woman and deserves all the accolades available for getting herself and her children into a safe environment. It doesn’t matter if she can afford to buy her children gifts herself, this is a token acknowledgment of her tough situation.

If you’re not the mother in question, then don’t judge.

If you are the Mum @ThisProudGreenCat , I hope that this thread has shown that kind strangers empathise with your situation and wish you well. Happy Christmas 🎄

OP has disappeared after very nasty OP

Yes, I think they should have received the gifts, as does the person that referred them. Being stalked is no joke. Frankly, you get no peace until your stalker is dead. I would be happy to know any donations I made went to a family who could use some extra joy and the knowledge that there are people who care out there.

Which I’d say is pretty likely about herself.

I read it as the OP being concerned that people would think she/her family don’t deserve the gifts

It goes to them too.

It’s not a race to the bottom!! I used to donate toys to local drives and would absolutely not have a problem with it. The last three years have been an unexpected challenge for our family because I became disabled due to NHS negligence in my pregnancy and my toddler was too. A local charity gave my daughter an expensive doll for Christmas this year, and while she has other gifts, the doll has made me feel supported and my daughter who has been so brave through so many surgeries deserves any extra joy life can bring.

The mother and children have been through a traumatic time, any extra kindness shown them is absolutely deserved can’t believe that would be even questioned.

OP and a small number of posters sound like people very small in spirit and kindness. They better hope life doesn’t serve them a curve ball, it can happen to anyone.