Do you think these people should have gotten christmas gifts from charity?

[ThisProudGreenCat]

Mum and two young children (6 months old and 2 1/2 years old). Certainly not poor albeit not rich. Dad isn't in the picture as not allowed contact with the children or the mum (can't know where they are either), basically mum had to leave her first property to get away from dad as he is an online child sex offender and breached his bail condition to stalk them.

Mum lives in a private rental 2 bedroom flat and has food on the table, can afford clothes, treats, softplay for the kids, etc... etc...

Mum found out she was referred to Christmas appeal and received Christmas toys for the kids, although the kids already have Christmas toys.

Do you think it's fair or unfair? Would you have been gutted if you were one of the people who donated the toys, thinking they were going to a family in need?

Of course it's fair
I wouldn't begrudge anyone receiving presents after being involved in such an ordeal
The referring agency would have had their reasons, which you are not aware of, and not should you be.
Concentrate on spreading your own type of festive cheer and mind your own business

The most horrible OP I've read today.

Just had a sudden thought
If you are the DM and feel guilty about receiving the gifts then please don't
Kindness and compassion is part of Christmas

I think it was just ment as a kind gesture, a bit of a relief after a very traumatic situation. Why would she not be recognised as a victim, even if she can make ends meet and provide for her children?

Are you the mother in question? Don’t feel guilty if so, would be pleased you’re Christmas has got a little better.

They are victims of a paedophile. They will have to live with that for the rest of their lives. The children will see it in the news when they are older - They might even be bullied for it and for not having a Dad. The wife has had her world torn apart. I work alongside these charities - It's not just about poverty, it's about supporting theor entire world, their mental health, kindness, making them aware that they are not alone, there's a support network for them, someone has their back.

Give your head a wobble. Jesus! Netmums seriously makes my brain bleed out of my ears, sometimes.

You've got to be pulling our legs ......

Single parent....
Uprooted....
Guessing few family due to circumstances..
Someone referred them (probably a social worker who knows the details).

I'd at least be giving someone a wide berth if they griped to me about this (hopefully I'm lucky and don't know people so inconsiderate irl).

Sorry got to be a prank

Any sign of the OP at all?

Unless you have given personally to these charities, why is it your actual business, who these charities help.

I honestly don't have it in me to begrudge two very small children who have had a shitty start in life some extra Christmas presents.

This 100%

I suspect the OP is the woman described.

If this is the case, please don’t question whether or not you and your little family are deserving enough. You all deserve a bit of loveliness. Have a Merry Christmas 🎄❤️

Absolutely agree. Myself and my children spent some time in a refuge (we're now thankfully out the other side) we were gifted things I had the money to buy. It was never about the gifts, more what they signified. The fact that someone cared, and the fact my head was so scrambled that someone else was thinking of my babies when I was struggling. If you give, give unconditionally.

I would be happy they got toys I donated. They definitely deserve a treat. And anything that makes them forget all they have been through even for a short while is great!

I’d happily donate lovely presents to this family.

I was once a long time ago in a similar situation. Until someone has become a lone parent and had a traumatic time with the dreadful other parent, like this, no one can fully understand what it is like. It’s a bit like grief.

And yes everyone would have always presumed I was coping I rented a house, I studied, I took lots of part time jobs but that was all only just feeding us. I went without food many times to make sure there was enough to get us through the week. I remember being on my knees in the kitchen simply sobbing for hours as I was in such a bad way (20 years later I was diagnosed with CPTSD and other horrible illnesses as I had no chance to recover from it all).

If someone had done something this kind I would have felt like someone has noticed me and made sure my child is treated like everyone else’s. I really hope this family have a lovely Christmas.

I thought it was pretty obvious that OP is the mum and was embarrassed to referred because she's managing so well.

OP, I'm delighted your DC are getting the gifts. I donate to a similar toy drive and would be more than happy for them to go to families like yours.

And to those sneering over OP's language - gotten never went out of use in Ireland and parts of the UK, there's nothing wrong with it.

I'd be very happy if they received something. They deserve extra kindness for sure. I hope they have a happy Christmas.

They're exactly the kind of family I'd want my donations to go to. Sounds like they've had a very rough time and deserve a little joy wherever possible. If that is in the form of a few extra toys - perfect!

Huh? I’m so confused by this question. She and her children are clearly in need of community support after her entire life collapsed.

We were referred one year because DS had only left SCBU two weeks before Christmas, everything was manic and we had no chance of getting out and sorting out Christmas.

Not everyone is referred for monetary reasons, sometimes it is to make a crap time easier for the parent.

I remember hearing about an extremely well off family being given a care package of pyjamas and toothpaste, all the essentials because their child had gone into A&E and basically didn’t come out.

Anything that makes a shocking diagnosis slightly more bearable is what a charity sets out to achieve. Finances and money don’t really come into it in those moments.

Exactly this.

We weren't poverty stricken but we weren't doing great as he had been in SCBU for 5 months, pretty much obliterated DH's self employed role, and my work was put on hold longer than I had originally planned for maternity leave.
Poor DD had put up with one or both of us at the hospital whilst she went to families houses to be watched. So the idea she wouldn't have had Christmas was horrible. Even though DS had left SCBU, we had to be incredibly careful with him, he was on hourly medications, and oxygen support at night. It was like a military operation to get him to appointments let alone the idea of going shopping and potentially picking up a virus and making him ill.

We were referred by our specialist health visitor, she was amazing, and when I expressed embarrassment about being giving a package, she told me that she had put us forward because we deserved a bit less stress. I was very appreciative, and it did indeed reduce stress.

That's so lovely. When my 4th baby was in scbu, back in the day when school dinner choices were a form in the book bag rather than online, one of the TA's sat down with my older 2 and wrote down their school dinner choices for the rest of the term. I still remember that fondly and my baby in scbu is now 11 years old.

We were always overwhelmed with the kindness of people. Even in SCBU we would often all bring cakes or snacks in. One das used to do a daily update with a convincing impression of the voiceover guy of Big Brother.
DS is a 6ft 2 16 year old now!