Do you think these people should have gotten christmas gifts from charity?

[ThisProudGreenCat]

Mum and two young children (6 months old and 2 1/2 years old). Certainly not poor albeit not rich. Dad isn't in the picture as not allowed contact with the children or the mum (can't know where they are either), basically mum had to leave her first property to get away from dad as he is an online child sex offender and breached his bail condition to stalk them.

Mum lives in a private rental 2 bedroom flat and has food on the table, can afford clothes, treats, softplay for the kids, etc... etc...

Mum found out she was referred to Christmas appeal and received Christmas toys for the kids, although the kids already have Christmas toys.

Do you think it's fair or unfair? Would you have been gutted if you were one of the people who donated the toys, thinking they were going to a family in need?

Having taught older children in similar circumstances there are most certainly a family in need. The needs are just not financial. I would be absolutely fine with them receiving a present.

This family have gone through a very difficult and no doubt traumatic time and I absolutely wouldn’t have an issue with them receiving gifts.

The tone and wording of your post is more concerning

I was hospitalized for several weeks over Christmas when I was 7, but I had a different experience regarding toy donations. I had a freak accident and I almost died. I ended up needing multiple blood transfusions, 2 surgeries and I spent several weeks in the hospital.

Just before Christmas, all of the children in pediatrics were discharged to go home except me, as I was still too ill to leave. Several people in the community donated gifts to be given to the children who were hospitalized. However, the nurses decided that I would only be allowed to open the packages, then they took the new toys away from me. They insisted the gifts were gifted to the hospital, not me, and I assume they took them home for their own children, as I didn't see them again.

A couple brought in a gift and tried to give it to me in person, but were confused when I refused it. I told them to give it to the nurse to open as she would take the gift after I opened it anyway. And, honestly, the effort to open gifts was difficult for me, so I wasn't willing to put forth the effort to open gifts for the nurses.

The couple were outraged that the nurses were stealing donations and insisted the gifts were definitely intended for children who were hospitalized, not the staff, and they angrily told the nurse that they were going to report this situation to the hospital administrator. The nurse tried to deny that she and other nurses had stolen the gifts and insisted they were just "saving" some of the gifts to give to other children who might be admitted later. She also insisted that I'd been allowed to keep some of the gifts, but I told the couple that I had not been allowed to keep anything, which was the truth.

I’d be quite happy knowing children who’ve clearly had a very difficult time had an extra gift at Christmas.

Sounds like she's been through a lot. Stop being so miserly, it's Christmas.

I think it would be lovely to help out this family. This mum has the entire mental load of caring for two children and creating holiday magic (as do many other single parents of course!). She's the only one there wrapping presents and figuring out what to get etc. I'd think she wouldn't have family support from at least half the family in these circumstances and I'd love to help her. Christmas is exhausting and she's had an awful time of it.

I’d be more than happy for this family to get Christmas gifts

I would be plesed that someone has thought about this family tbh.
It sounds like they have had a really tough time.
How do you know the family?
Why does it upset you? Are you the family, if so, don't feel guilty.

Okay, but aside of the stolen presents which there really is no accounting for did you get any of your parents ? your family?
Was it just a normal Christmas really?

Family in need isn’t just money - and for me actually this covers it better needing to escape from the dad
i would think the mum has done very well to get where she has in the circumstances and would be pleased the gifts are going there

They are a family who have gone through a very tough time. I would be happy to think a gift I donated went to the children.

Whats your gateway for being deserving enough to get a gift? Broken bone? Only lentils in the cupboard? have some compassion for good ness sake! I certainly would not like to have gone through what she and her kids have - and the fact that shes moving to independence is something to be celebrated, not punished. I would have absolutely zero problem with her and her kids getting gifts from a charity - its not only the poorest of the poor, bleakeast of the bleak that deserve something special from time to time. I actually think it shows the charity is nuanced and thoughtful about the huge need out there and who adversity affects, sometimes in ways that are not immediately visible

The OP is obviously the mum.

No, I absolutely wouldn’t begrudge a family in these circumstances receiving presents for the kids. They deserve a treat and a reminder that they’re not alone.

Fair. They sound like they have had a rough time and are in need of kindness. I don't think it matters if they desperately need the items, needing to know that they are cared for and valued is important too.

Oh, poor woman.
What a stressful situation for her, well done coping well.
I actually think these children probably don't need an extra present, I think their mum will provide for them. Personally, I'd rather the mum in this situation got the present, she's the one who really deserves it. I don't begrudge the kids at all though.

I don't see these things as always being about financial need tbh. Somethings a person needs to see and experience a bit of kindness from the world, that there are decent people out there along with the evil bastards. It's a little bit of light and hope, a sign that people are watching out for her and her kids.

No, I wouldn't begrudge it at all. The mum sounds fabulous, brave and resilient and deserves some kindness having clearly been through a very very difficult time with very little emotional support.

I hope the little family get a holiday as well next year. I'd happily contribute.

The mum described sounds like a shining example of what a mum should be, putting her children first and keeping them safe.

I'm pretty sure the person writing is the mum in question.

I wouldn’t expect toys to be given to this family no, they already had presents and are doing fine.
I also knew someone in a previous work place who got given gifts when she didn’t actually need it.
Iv not given to Xmas toy drives since.

I expect the gifts to go to family’s/children with next to nothing, not the ones who can already afford presents.

I disagree - I think in this case the mum has done and an amazing job in the face of something horrible and that should be rewarded

Wouldn’t bother me at all. Sounds like those kids have been through a lot.

That family have been through utter hell and you’d begrudge her kids a few gifts?
Really?

It’s just a show of solidarity with this family, who have had a tough few months. Hopefully it’s seen as an acknowledgement of how difficult things have been and that the community has their back.

They were not given because the children would have no gifts to open otherwise.

Need doesn't always mean financial

I'd be gutted at losing my home and having my life wrenched apart, and even further pissed off that someone who knows me felt judging me and putting my info online was a cool thing to do.
Poor kids being begrudged a couple of presents is mean.
I'm a single Mum and I thought I'd heard all the judgement nastiness and bitching but this thread takes the biscuit