Told DH he smells

[okydokethen]

DH has a physical job and self care isn't high on his list generally.

He likes long hot baths, but doesn't rinse after and quite frankly tonight he stank afterwards. I said something like 'you need to try and rinse after the bath, I think because it was so hot you've got sweaty so there's quite a strong smell'.

He's obviously pissed off and was very defensive. Not sure I can soften this can I?

How can you smell after having a bath? I don’t get it

Does he not use soap?

Unless he's bathing in piss or sour milk, how does he stink?

He sat in really hot water for over an hour so he got sweaty

Perhaps he hasn’t soaped his pits!

I think you softened it as much as you could!

We had a roommate at university who smelt just as bad following his shower than he did before (BO). I don't know what he did in there, but I don't think he got lathered up with the soap.

Water wouldn't stay really hot for over an hour though, perhaps he's got some other kind of health issue?

Is he actually washing or just sitting in hot water?

What is the smell like? Can you describe it? Did he wash his hair? Maybe the smell is in his hair.

He tops up the water with hot and we have a cast iron bath which seems to hold the heat pretty well.
He said he used body wash but I'm not sure.
He smells of awful BO. I find it so unattractive and really wish he'd up the hygiene.

He needs soap. A bar of, rather than shower gel. And a flannel for a good scrub.

Tell him of course he can have a bath but he needs to shower and use soap afterwards. Or buy him some lovely smelling bath salts or bubble bath and pour them is when he is running the bath!

Hmm it's tricky. I think you said it nicely enough though.

Maybe he's not scrubbing with a flannel or sponge and soap.

Get him a washbag of lovely shower gels and soaps for xmas.

I know what you mean OP. Get him to smell his towel, if he’s getting out of the bath stinky his towel will smell of bo.

Sometimes we do just have to be blunt. You live in the same house, and not washing properly is antisocial. You’ve just got to tell him. Obviously open with saying that you know it’s uncomfortable for him to hear and you’re not saying it to hurt him, you love him but it’s uncomfortable for you to live with so it’s a discussion he has to get through then comment that he has a demanding job and it does leave him with a strong odour and he isn’t washing it off so he needs to shower and lather up a bar of soap and wash, then apply anti perspirant.

I wish he'd just said ok and gone and had a brief rinse in shower instead of getting arsey. Im finding it really hard to feel any attraction, we've been together over twenty years but we're still young (ish) and don't need to give up.
I guess because he wears clothes that get filthy at work he sort of doesn't care. But a good wash and deodorant would really help my mood!!

He absolutely needs to be using proper bar soap but also, I would really recommend one of those probiotic deodorants that somehow properly tackles the BO bacteria (Fussy/Wild type thing).

Teenage DS is not great at washing properly and I used to really struggle with not making a huge thing of it and inadvertently shaming him in a harsh way. But the switch to fussy has sorted it to an amazing degree, like overnight. (Other probiotic whatevers are available, I promise I’m not a an advertiser, and yes washing is still essential )

I'll check out fussy - wouldn't mind if it was my son although he's no trouble with self care.

We have plenty of lovely soaps, shampoo, shower gels etc and with a teen daughter he's particularly spoilt for choice. He just thinks a splash of water with bubbles in does the trick I think.

This is absolutely a thing. If I don't wash properly after a long run / bath then my lives in particular still smell very pungent

Just sitting in water sometimes isn't enough and if he's a bit hairy then he'll need to actually wash.

Don't you people get washed in the bath or do you just sit in it?

Are his clothes clean? I think clothes hold onto BO more than skin does.

Easy, if you've been sweating all day, lying in water won't get you clean, you need soap & to be actively washing, preferably with a short off after.

especially if the person has any skin folds.