Told DH he smells

[okydokethen]

DH has a physical job and self care isn't high on his list generally.

He likes long hot baths, but doesn't rinse after and quite frankly tonight he stank afterwards. I said something like 'you need to try and rinse after the bath, I think because it was so hot you've got sweaty so there's quite a strong smell'.

He's obviously pissed off and was very defensive. Not sure I can soften this can I?

I mean, I have been there! I sympathise.

@SoYouThinkYouCanPrance

what?

This may seem a bit “out there” but does he have dry, flakes instead of ear wax?
There’s a proven link between dry ear wax and no BO and I’m one of those people. It’s only sweaty pits though, feet etc still smell. I NEVER use deo/anti-perspirant and never smell of BO.

Foul🤢

Clinisan body wash helps neutralise bacteria in sweat, helped my uncle with his BO smell.

Are they as scratchy as they look? 🤩

He needs a shower, not a soak in a bath.

Get dettol soap for pits, get him to double wash them.

It’s not the hot water , it’s the lack of soap and lack of rinse . Fresh sweat does not smell.
If he is so dirty he does need to shower rather than bath.

I'm one of those people who thinks a bath is just not as good as a shower to get a good, clean body. I would suggest that he needs a shower, with a cloth, sponge or one of those 'net curtain type scrubbies ' and a decent bar of soap. A soak in a bath isn't actually cleaning him. And he needs to rinse properly.
Just to ask, is he overweight? Because if he has folds of skin then he will have perspiration and other nasties in the folds and, again , just sitting isn't getting rid of that. Also needs a clean towel after the shower.

what do you mean "you people"?

🤮

Really? That's a bugger. It was really good stuff.

Same people who never clean the bathroom as clearly it washed itself when you run water/flush the loo.
I don’t think any grown person with an ounce of sense, who smells from work, would think sitting in a bath and not using soap would work.
It is really offensive.
I sometimes wonder if they do it on purpose.

Years ago I was seeing a guy who lived in a house share. He never seemed to go home. He'd go from mine to work and it was a while before I realised he hadn't showered at mine the whole time. In my optimistic naivety I thought he must be popping home or showering at work or something. He didn't have BO but after a while I started to notice this lingering smell of unwashed arse ingrained into the furniture wherever he'd been sitting. It was fucking rank. Turned out he'd grown up only having a bath on a Sunday so he thought it was perfectly fine. Needless to say we didn't stay together.

We tell each other in our family if anyone smells.
Thankfully, it's not often required anymore but I'd tell my dc if they smelled and made sure they had regular showers, nice washing products and deodorant.

Wouldn't everyone prefer to hear it from a loved one rather than going out stinking?

Wow lot of replies to my stinky DH!
It makes me laugh how many people are giving me instructions on how to wash - I can do it, I swear.
We have imperial leather soap and other delightful products. Clean clothes and clean towels provided.
There is no part of me that would find a couples shower to secretly wash my DH sexy.
This morning he announced he'd had a shower and didn't stink - he said it with a twinkle in his eye so I know he was acknowledging my complaint! I just hope he remembers this...

(We don't sleep in the same bed actually - but this works and isn't a problem. Hygiene wasn't the reason but I do find his sweating really unattractive so not being in a sweaty bed is a bonus)

Some women tell me they'd love a rough and ready manual man... I imagine I'd like a man in a suit with clean nails and colour coordinated towels..

@KangaRoo00 thank you, that's exactly it

Yes! But they do soften over time time.

And $10 is expensive - they're usually a pound on the markets in London.

I don’t think you said anything you shouldn’t have. What are you supposed to do? Live in a house that stinks of BO?

It’s unacceptable and unfair. Tell him to get back into that shower asap or get out of the house. All his clothes and the sheets etc will need washed and I’m sure you’ve enough to do - the simple solution is for him to wash himself properly like an adult!

If he’s particularly sweaty can he get (or you get him) a deodorant from the pharmacy which contains aluminium?

He doesn't care that he still smells after having a bath?

He's a stroppy man child.

When he calms down, have a conversation with him and tell him that you weren't trying to offend him, but his odour is offensive. This could end up being a deal breaker for you in time but he can do something about it. No one else can do it, it has to be him.

About 8-10% of the population don’t have the gene for stinky armpits. Lucky bastards. My dad is one of them. He’s never used deodorant and has never needed it. He worked in a physical job and would get sweaty and dirty. He’d smell of sweat at the end of the day but not BO. Unfortunately I didn’t inherit this. Clinical Mitchum for me.

@okydokethen How did your DH smell after his shower? Nice and clean? Hopefully he takes your feedback on board and cleans himself thoroughly each time.

@FeralWoman interesting, I didn't know there was a gene for it. I shall tell him, he will be very proud of his specialness!

My son can be like this, have a shower but still stinks. He's 13 and puberty is cruel! Things have been better since he started using bar soap on his pits and bits. Shower gel just doesn't cut it. I've told him he can use gel in his body but he must use the bar soap on his smelly pits.

I have bought some really nice smelling triple milled bars from TK Maxx that are big and last for ages. Don't buy things like Dove soap as that doesn't do it either.

He just turned himself into soup by the sounds of it .