Told DH he smells

[okydokethen]

DH has a physical job and self care isn't high on his list generally.

He likes long hot baths, but doesn't rinse after and quite frankly tonight he stank afterwards. I said something like 'you need to try and rinse after the bath, I think because it was so hot you've got sweaty so there's quite a strong smell'.

He's obviously pissed off and was very defensive. Not sure I can soften this can I?

If my shower was too hot I would sweat too. I have it slightly cooler so I don't.

I'd be putting a question up on FB asking friends the best cure for BO. I'd tell him I'm going to do it in advance.

To be fair I can tell my husband he's still a bit whiffy and he'll have another go. He'd be mortified if someone noticed the smell.

I used to use that. Unfortunately, it does not actually contain coal tar any more (for alleged safety reasons) and does not smell as nice nor work as well.

No, me neither, I'd get cold and probably slip over.

Never feel clean wallowing in a bath unless I've already had a shower first.

It's how my mum taught us to wash in baths.

I just don't wash in baths, i read and wallow in hot scented water to relax! I wash in showers at other times of the day.

You have to go to the cupboard under the stairs before you can dry your fanny??

Tbh I don't get having baths to get clean.

I have zero desire to fester in dirty water.

If I want to relax in the bath I shower first (use soap to get clean, wash hair etc ) whilst the bath is running and then get into the bath with nice bathing salts/bubbles.

If he is just putting bubbles in a bath and sitting in it he's not getting clean as he is not using any products that get rid of the dead sweat soaked skin and the oils we secrete.

He needs to be scrubbing his arm pits and all other areas especially that don't get "aired".

Additionally having a bath so hot you're sweating when you get out utterly defeats the purpose but probably worse in his case because he's still not even clean.

You need a bit of friction to get rid of the assorted bacteria on the surface. So:

1. Shower not bath!
2. Get one of those shower scrunchy things (there's probably some web site saying they are unhygienic but I think they're great and I haven't died from one yet) and put a decent dollop of shower gel on it
3. Scrub under arms 20x (takes 10 seconds per side)
4. Then scrub nether regions similarly
5. Finish off with a brief rinse, just to get rid of all the lather Clean as a whistle in 3 minutes if you don't hang around.

You can have a bath before or after if you want to contemplate the universe, but it's not a good way to get clean. For one thing, unless the bath is huge, a man probably doesn't have the room to move his hands around to scrub everywhere comfortably.

What about making it a sexy couples shower thing? You lather and wash him, he does the same for you

This is a thing. Most people are not neck deep in a bath. Shoulders and arm pits often out of water and if in arms squished to body.
Tell him to have a shower first and to use soap.
The not washing in the bath was proven when white towels were used and helped to prove the point when seen to be grey/brown marks
If the grime isn’t coming off, the sweat certainly isn’t either

Wow shower before a bath?. That must dry your skin out and your utility bills must be high.

If he has a lot of brown grime but he bathes often he must have one heck of a dirty job what does he do?.

That's not clean though! What about ears, neck, belly button, feet, between toes, back...

@Bogginsthe3rd wins this thread. Chapeau.

OP, you must be a really nice person. I'd have discussed his BO once and slept in our spare room if my DH decided he wasn't interested in sorting himself out.

You were right to tell him - ignore the tantrum. I hope, for your sake, he improves.

(I wonder if my people are on here side-eying this thread and some of the responses...😂😏)

My fella is the same, always smells so much fresher when out of a 5 minute shower then an hour long bath!! And he does wash his pits, bits, face etc … I think it’s because the bath is so hot they sweat even after they have cleaned.

Conversely I never feel squeaky clean after a shower. I just don't feel like the water gets everywhere like it does with a bath. I like a bit of a soak then wash with shower gel, face wash and wash/condition my hair. We have a shower hose over the bath so use that to rinse off my hair.

I never feel fully clean unless I've washed my hair too and had a proper dunk.

But I only use shower gel so I guess I'm a heathen.

Body wash isn’t enough for smelly people.

Smelly people don’t realise they smell, because they’re so accustomed to their own scent. That’s why they get defensive when people tell them they stink.

He needs to use actual soap. And then antiperspirant afterwards.

I’d recommend getting an ‘African net’ aswell to lather up the soap and exfoliate with.

A grown ass man shouldn’t really need to be told how to wash himself though. That would turn me right off.

I shower after instead, get rid of the grime you’ve just been sitting in!

Can totally understand get sweaty in the bath! I'm also someone who likes to basically create a sauna for myself in my bathroom! But I do always get the soap out at the end and make sure the bath is doing it's job!
He must smell it also?
I use Fussy too and it does actually seem to do the job although I do wish they'd do a normal smell or a no smell stick - they all seem to have some elaborately described scent. I find the coconut one is mild in 'scent'. But I don't think deodorant is going to replace the job of an actual bath or shower.
I know he's reacted badly but how about leaving a bar of Imperial Leather on the side of the bath for him rather than bringing it up again?

Dp genuinely doesn't smell. And he should, as he works in construction. When we got together I was horrified he had no deodorant. But he genuinely doesn't seem to need it. He has a daily bath after work and washes properly in it to remove grime, but doesn't even smell of sweat when he comes in from work in the summer.

I think he's an android.

Any my fella is one of the most hygienic people I’ve met!!

The smell isn’t from him getting sweaty in the hot bath- new sweat has no smell. The smell is from him not getting properly clean on the bath. He needs to give his pits a good scrub with soap and rinse.

Incentivising an adult Homo sapiens to have a proper wash? 🤔