Christmas has become very expensive.

[Flutterbycustard]

Just sat here planning Christmas and how much we will spend on kids (older teens) and family.
Have had a few requests and been to look the products up. When did hoodies, polo shirts and aftershave get so expensive?!

Usually we budget about £500 each on our children, and we’ve always considered them very, very fortunate. We know lots of people have a lot less to spend. But looking at the prices this year, £500 isn’t going to go far on adult kids.

Aftershave alone is nearly £100. The desired hoodie is over £100. They want some cash as well. There definitely won’t be much of a pile. And I know we are the lucky ones. A pack of boxers is over £30 and socks nearly £20 (the ones they like anyway).

I’m feeling like £500 looks really inadequate, yet I know that £500 is a hell of a lot of money and to even consider spending more is ridiculous. Plus, we don’t have more to budget for Christmas anyway.

I know there comes a point when the pile of gifts shrinks and Christmas is less about the presents, but I can’t believe £500pp isn’t going to completely spoil them anymore.

Nieces and Nephews will get cash, but again, £20 - £30 pp is just looking so mean. But we have too many to increase spends as DH has five siblings, each with 2 or 3 children. I also have siblings, but only a couple of nieces on my side.

Is this cost of living kicking in; or has it just always been this way as kids get older. I’m actually dreading how much it’s all looking to cost this year and wishing we’d cut back more gradually starting a few years ago.

Christ, I can't even imagine expecting my brothers to buy me something worth hundreds of pounds! If I get them anything, it's most likely to be a joint present for a brother + his wife, often homemade/consumable, but quite often nothing!

Tale as old as time….

I remember DM having a chat with me the Xmas I was 18ish to say that DSis’ pile looked bigger but mine had items that were much more expensive and then she was much relieved when I said I knew that and would rather a couple of things I really wanted (I still use the dress watch that was my main present and I’m now in my 40s).

It's not mean; it's more important to be financially secure than to have £100 hoodies when you're a frickin' teenager!

Op I have two teenage sons and have spent the grand total of £250 between them!!! The haul includes a Nintendo switch (second hand) , new pyjamas and some aftershave each. Will alao give them cash if I have it. No designer label's either

Which can also be very expensive. It doesn’t matter what the money is spent on.

But that’s not the one they want. Would you be happy with any old hoodie when you asked for a specific one?

@TranscendentalMedication a colleague thinks I’m a bit mean. My thinking is they can’t get used to these £100 hoodies & £100 perfumes because they will have some shock when they work & realise they can’t afford much.

I would get the hoodie and the aftershave then three small bits.

Dd2 is getting perfume - 100, cannot find cheaper anywhere else so am using 15% off from the fragrance shop and a pair of dm loafers. Then she has the Sally rooney book, a milk frother and some make up.

Asking doesn’t get!

your budget is very generous. Remember as well your kids are getting presents from a lot of other relatives too - so probably getting at least £800 spent on them? I’m sure you’ll agree that is a huge amount of money. Presumably they are also treated for their birthdays and have an allowance and or pt job so they can save up for other things throughout the year.

the issue is your dc have expensive taste. £100 aftershave is more than most adults can afford. They simply need to decide if they want a few expensive items or more cheaper ones.

I spend £100 each on my kids. Late teens and early 20’s. I don’t buy for my siblings and their partners. I do buy for my nieces and nephews. My mother doesn’t want anything and in laws will get small, homemade gifts. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. You can still have a lovely Christmas spending less.

Bit scroogy that?!

For teens, 1 small expensive thing and bulk it out with something cheap they'll eat. I got DS a box of crisps from the cash and carry. I thinking of a slab of pot noddles this year.
Things have to change when they suddenly want £100 hoodies.

@greengreyblue true but it's the equivalent of asking for adidas tracksuit bottoms and ending up with the market version when you were a kid
You'd be bitterly disappointed and never wear them but to your mum they "were the same thing anyway"
So if they want a specific hoodie either get the hoodie or not but don't try and do it cheaper

If I wanted a Jo malone candle and a partner got me a Yankee candle.. it's not the same is it

Christmas has become expensive because people have made it so. There really is no need for multiple gifts, we used to get 1 main present from our parents. It was enough. Christmas lunch was a traditional lunch as there wasn't all the fancy stuff available eg crisps, snacks, biscuits etc. But we had the best Christmasses because it's about the whole not excess in the individual parts.

You say they’re older teens/ adult kids.

They’re old enough to know the cost of the things that they’re asking for.

I’d get them a couple of the items that they’ve asked for (I.e. aftershave and hoodie) then maybe give £100 cash on top as it sounds like you have a large budget. This sounds more than generous to me.

It seems a bit strange trying to create ‘a pile’ for DC of this age. If they don’t get everything on their list (and who does!) then they are old enough to save up and get the other items themselves.

I am with you OP @Flutterbycustard and I don't think it's about kids not knowing the value of money or being greedy either.

Everything just costs so much bloody money these days. I've got kids of varying ages and toys and games that a few years ago were £15-20 are more like £30-40 now.

Perfumes and aftershaves are outrageously priced. Clothes are mental - I went into Primark the other day PRIMARK and there was a jumper for almost £40. You what?

Anyway, to bulk out the "pile" I spend money on things they'll need throughout the year...pjs, toiletries, favourite foods etc. I don't feel like that's a waste of money or extravagant as it's stuff I'd end up forking out for anyway.

It’s just odd advice though, the OP isn’t saying she can’t afford it or isn’t happy to buy it. She seems perfectly happy with getting her DC the gift they’ve asked for, she’s just commenting on the budget not going as far this year.
People get so petty on these threads.

Teens know the pile gets much smaller as their gifts get more expensive- i also always buy toiletries, pjs, pants, socks and selection box which makes the pile a bit bigger, maybe a board game or similar too, then the main gift and a few clothes

Going forward could you have a cut off at 18 for family members. Maybe others are feeling the cost of living biting, we've cut present giving right back, life seems very expensive at the moment.

I was going to suggest the same, if all the parents are additionally spending £20-30 per neice/nephew then wouldn't it make sense to stop that and then you'd have an extra £100 for your own kids....but with your update I agree, I would be annoyed if as a younger sibling/one of the last to have kids I'd been buying for my neices and nephews for years and once I had kids someone suggested stopping.

Besides which if the "average" has been about £30, £30 probably was a lot more for them to spend on your kids 15 years ago than it is now. I would have tried to suggest a cut off at either 18 or 21 though, if you're still buying for a 23 year old you'll essentially be tied in for the rest of your lives!

Could you keep £2-30 quid spare of the £500 for each of your kids and do a sort of adult stocking to bulk it out? Raid home bargains and do a mix of essential things like deodorant, toothpaste, little treats like their favourite sweets, silly pair of Christmas socks?

Or introduce a new tradition like a £5 secret santa where you all have to buy on a theme - e.g. something Christmas themed to wear (then all take a photo with your silly things on), or a game you then play over christmas, etc. (Can be second hand). It's something extra to unwrap and takes longer because everyone looks to see what the other person has. So not just everyone diving into a pile of presents which are unwrapped in five minutes and all over.

It’s just a culture shift I’ve noticed. I hoped for things and knew my parents did their best so if I didn’t get what I’d hoped for that was fine. These days there’s a lot more emphasis on getting a child exactly what they want. It’s not healthy.

@leafybrew
I do similar
Something to wear
Something to read
Something you want
Something you need

So something to eat is different
Then I also ask for a list of gifts with a maximum value (insert own appropriate figure) to be able to pass on to family, for us these range from £20-£50

If they’re older teens they will be well aware of what it all costs, so I wouldn’t worry about them having a pile of presents.

I remember asking for one big present as a teenager (budget was a lot smaller than yours) and my mum was absolutely gutted because I would only have one present to open. I remember finding it amusing that she was so bothered by it and telling her I was perfectly happy because it was exactly what I wanted. I remember she ended up buying me socks, sweets, etc and wrapping them up so I had more to open! Can you spend a bit of the money on buying some little bits they might like?

But op is happy to buy the items she just wishes they didn't cost as much/looked more substantial. She understands her kids would prefer the more expensive item and is happy to get it so the kids aren't being grabby to ask for it - the whole point of buying presents is to get something the recipient would like, otherwise why bother?

£30 on a jumper that will never be worn is far more of a waste of money than £100 on a hoody that they'll wear multiple times.