Christmas has become very expensive.

[Flutterbycustard]

Just sat here planning Christmas and how much we will spend on kids (older teens) and family.
Have had a few requests and been to look the products up. When did hoodies, polo shirts and aftershave get so expensive?!

Usually we budget about £500 each on our children, and we’ve always considered them very, very fortunate. We know lots of people have a lot less to spend. But looking at the prices this year, £500 isn’t going to go far on adult kids.

Aftershave alone is nearly £100. The desired hoodie is over £100. They want some cash as well. There definitely won’t be much of a pile. And I know we are the lucky ones. A pack of boxers is over £30 and socks nearly £20 (the ones they like anyway).

I’m feeling like £500 looks really inadequate, yet I know that £500 is a hell of a lot of money and to even consider spending more is ridiculous. Plus, we don’t have more to budget for Christmas anyway.

I know there comes a point when the pile of gifts shrinks and Christmas is less about the presents, but I can’t believe £500pp isn’t going to completely spoil them anymore.

Nieces and Nephews will get cash, but again, £20 - £30 pp is just looking so mean. But we have too many to increase spends as DH has five siblings, each with 2 or 3 children. I also have siblings, but only a couple of nieces on my side.

Is this cost of living kicking in; or has it just always been this way as kids get older. I’m actually dreading how much it’s all looking to cost this year and wishing we’d cut back more gradually starting a few years ago.

I think it is too much and I love Christmas! Now dc are older we have decided on a few fun stocking type bits each then £150 in either cash or gifts.

Hmmm at £500 each I'm really not seeing where the 'cost of living' crisis is involved.

Try this for adults/older teens:

Something you want
Something you need
Something to eat
Something to read.

Why do they need a big 'pile' of gifts to make Christmas magical

My mum and aunts made an agreement that they stop buying gifts for nieces and nephews the Christmas after they turn 18, I’m likely to carry this on but stretch it to 21 because my DNs are likely to go to uni and it will be nice to treat them. I usually spend £20 per one, I ask for ideas but sometimes I just give them cash.

Having a magical Christmas isn't about the pile though is it. And what good is a pile if half of it is tat that is never used or wasn't wanted?

Look to make magic through the activities you do and the time spent together on the day.

Instead of doing a stocking last year we played a card game - you need 2 packs of cards and each player brings and wraps 5 small universal gifts. One deck of cards is shared amongst the players, the other is turned over one at a time and as your card is called you take a present from the pile / pinch one from someone else's pile. Go through the deck 2-3 times. This was far more fun than opening stockings, and took the pressure off the person who normally did them.

I think your problem is that your kids want expensive brands. I’m sure M&S sell hoodies.

Hmmm at £500 each I'm really not seeing where the 'cost of living' crisis is involved...

Yes the cost of living crisis will be involved.

'Cost of living crisis' is the UK's recent rapidly rising prices with little or no corresponding rise in income - it has affected almost everyone as all prices rise, but obviously hits those on lower incomes hardest.

Please don't just buy them random tat like a pp suggested just to create a pile - they've told you what they want, they know the cost of what they've asked for. We don't budget anywhere near what you spend - between £150-200 pp and of course there's a big difference between the gifts our DD8 gets and my DSC (19-25 yrs). But they far prefer getting a few good quality items that they really want rather than loads of random crap. I think lots of kids are thankfully much more savvy about the environment too, my lot hate fast fashion and would much rather a really good quality clothes second hand than buy new.
Christmas magic isn't about the amount of gifts surely it's about the fun you have together...

@verycloakanddaggers yeah - I get it. Thanks.

Aftershave doesn’t need to cost £100. Ten seconds on google will find you an offer or a code to bring it down by at least 50%. Places like The Essence Vault do fantastic smell-alikes for a tenth of the price.

If you get organised in January, you can use cashback sites for all your spending; I’ve made over £200 on TCB and traded it for Nike vouchers to buy my adult kids their expensive trainers for Christmas.

It’s Black Friday soon so sign up to the shops selling the hoodies you want and you’ll get emails when they go in the sale. Honestly, you’re just going to have to start doing what those of us with a much lower budget have been doing for years.

Can the family as a whole not agree to not give gifts to the nieces and nephews? Just buy the family a box of biscuits or chocs?

Ours are teens and we"ve said for big ticket items we'll get them in the boxing day sales

Christmas is magical enough without a pile of presents

Perhaps you could suggest the same?

If the hoodie and aftershave are going to be £50 come stroke of midnight? I don't really have an answer.

Yes it's expensive

Or wrap and give £500 worth of presents they know how much this stuff is.

Op I think your offspring need a reality check.
A grand spent on the two of them is a lot of money.

And not even a fleeting consideration that they might have raised materialistic children.

I think it’s fine for them to have a few expensive gifts on their list. That’s what teens like. Them bulk out with selection boxes, socks, notebooks or cheaper presents for another £20. And £20-£30 for nieces and nephews is plenty

Maybe your kids need to lower their expectations. £100 for aftershave?! You know they don't need that. Get a good dupe for £10.

Once I had nephews and nieces we stopped buying presents for the adults just mum and step dad.
I think my uncle stopped giving presents/money at 18 so fair for everyone. But brought chocolates or biscuits for the whole family.
£500 is loads of money for Christmas.

Your children are the oldest? How old are they?

Have you looked on allbeauty for the perfume/aftershave?

I got a great deal on my CK perfume was £90 got it for £30!

If your children are old enough to want aftershave they are old enough to not need ‘a pile.’

Something you could do is say gifts stop at 21. Traditionally my family give a special 21st and then that’s it. Sets a time limit on it for your kids as well and means fairness. Maybe you could do 25 instead.

We stopped gifts at 18
Still got parents bits.

All dd wants is a pair of Beats headphones that go over your ears. Just started looking and they are 350. I'm in shock. Since when did headphones cost 350???!!

This.

Adult children don't need a 'pile', and they also don't need £500 spent on them!

Give them one thing from their list, one edible treat, and some cash to spend how they choose. Cap your budget at less (much less!) than £500, because that's an insane amount of money to spend. All you're doing is creating a rod for your own back.

"We’ve always tried to make Christmas as magical as possible and it just feels like we can’t do that anymore. "

OP sorry but you're being a bit ridiculous! £500 is way above the average amount that parents spend on adult children at Christmas. You are very fortunate.

Regardless of the amount, it sounds like you are putting a huge amount of value on material goods as being what makes Christmas magical.

It's a bit of a cliche but seriously, if you are struggling to have a 'magical' Christmas despite spending such a huge amount of money, maybe you need to look outside of money and gifts?

Yeah they're a total rip off and it's all about the branding/ marketing.

Most kids have no clue of a difference in sound quality between those and some Sony headphones for less than £100 (and really they just want them to listen to Taylor Swift on the bus, so why bother with such expensive equipment?!)