Christmas has become very expensive.

[Flutterbycustard]

Just sat here planning Christmas and how much we will spend on kids (older teens) and family.
Have had a few requests and been to look the products up. When did hoodies, polo shirts and aftershave get so expensive?!

Usually we budget about £500 each on our children, and we’ve always considered them very, very fortunate. We know lots of people have a lot less to spend. But looking at the prices this year, £500 isn’t going to go far on adult kids.

Aftershave alone is nearly £100. The desired hoodie is over £100. They want some cash as well. There definitely won’t be much of a pile. And I know we are the lucky ones. A pack of boxers is over £30 and socks nearly £20 (the ones they like anyway).

I’m feeling like £500 looks really inadequate, yet I know that £500 is a hell of a lot of money and to even consider spending more is ridiculous. Plus, we don’t have more to budget for Christmas anyway.

I know there comes a point when the pile of gifts shrinks and Christmas is less about the presents, but I can’t believe £500pp isn’t going to completely spoil them anymore.

Nieces and Nephews will get cash, but again, £20 - £30 pp is just looking so mean. But we have too many to increase spends as DH has five siblings, each with 2 or 3 children. I also have siblings, but only a couple of nieces on my side.

Is this cost of living kicking in; or has it just always been this way as kids get older. I’m actually dreading how much it’s all looking to cost this year and wishing we’d cut back more gradually starting a few years ago.

Why is it piles of presents that makes Christmas magical? To be that's absolutely bizarre.

I'm comfortably off but never spend more than £200 on each of my teens/late adults. They get 1 present + some sweets/fluffy socks/gloves or something else inexpensive and whatever is left over they get put into their bank account. Even when I was married and we had a joint income of £250K+ did we spend anything near £500 on our kids. Christmas was somehow plenty magical anyway. We played board games, bought our favourite food, took the dogs out for long walks, watched movies etc. You really don't have to spend silly amounts to have a great Christmas.

Maybe you could set a minimum age for that? Cousins over 16 or whatever. Then the little ones don't miss out.

I know. She said they were all she wanted and that they were expensive. I thought she was being very frugal and thoughtful!!

She's at uni and does seem to live with headphones on, wears them all day in the library, but still!

But surely they know what these items cost? How could they be secretly disappointed that you’ve bought what they asked for? They could always have chosen cheaper things, but you have raised children with expensive tastes.

I do know what you mean.
I have a 4&7 year old and spent around £300 each last year. They had too much.

This year my partner said just spend £100 each. They would literally have a new outfit and a pair of shoes for that much!

I was going to try and spend less this year but everything is so much more expensive, and the type of things they like are more expensive, so I've ended up spending around £350 each 🙈🙈

Ah yes! But the label is the best bit…regardless of the fact that’s it’s made in the same factory! 😂

You're putting yourself under too much pressure to make Christmas "magical". And in any case it isn't presents that do that.

My dc (some of them now in their 20s) do love Christmas at home, but I don't think this is because of the presents they get - it's because of all the other stuff we do. i'm pretty well off and don't spend anything like that on my dc. Instead we do lots of games, eat nice food and have some silly traditions which amuse us all. We also do a secret santa with a very low limit where we all buy silly things.

My dc do present me with a list each, but I don't spend anything like £500 on them, and usually use Christmas as an opportunity to buy them things they need.

It's all about the branding. So don't do that, but they need to realise that if they want the expensive stuff they get less stuff.

Or just give them cold hard cash to do their own thing with a few stocking fillers so they have something to open.

That’s a huge budget to spend on each child . The problem is that when your chn get accustomed to that amount they will find anything less disappointing. Hoodies are not £100, certain labelled hoodies are. Same with aftershave. Our DDs are early 20s and we spend about £150 on each. I think that’s generous. They can have one big thing or a few smaller things. They are happy with that as both earning and can get what they want anyway. As for family, we stopped buying for adults years ago and just buy for the chn . It hasn’t diminished anyone’s enjoyment of Christmas. It’s about getting together more than gifts.
The chn in the family get £20 spent on them.

I tried to suggest not buying for adults (my siblings) a few years ago. There was an absolute uproar because I have three dcs so they felt they would be spending more than me. I only have one niece, my other two siblings don't have kids. So I now have to buy them something to keep the peace.

Ironically they now wait until the week before when theyve recieved their gifts from me and tell me that they are broke and can't afford to get me anything. It's really stupid.

If you want to buy adults big heaps of expensive presents then yes Christmas will be expensive. And this is a choice you have made.

£500 is too generous if anything. Cut it down and get them to buy it themselves if they really want it through wages.

I agree with @HelenHywater Mine enjoy helping with the shopping, preparing the food. We do things together, eg a day trip into London, meal out, cinema, pub quiz. I usually budget around £100 each for a gift - it’s usually clothes or trainers. Occasionally we will spend more if they need something specific like a new phone (but other family will chip in).

We spend £75 on each child. We stop nephew and nieces at 18 and before that spend £10. We don't buy for our own brothers and sisters.
I honestly don't think 'magical' is about how much you spend or how high the presents are.

I am pretty sure they have a good idea of the value of previous year's presents and know that asking for a £100 hoodie means getting less items.

Saying that for me underwear and socks aren't presents unless it's a joke gift. If DD wants more than M&S, she has to pay the difference herself.

So far I think DD thinks about 5 items, one will be a voucher as she wants another lobe piercing.

Maybe go away from the idea of big piles and be happy that they are still giving you a list instead of you handing over a bundle of cash.

I think most quality gifts, well even everyday items are around £100+ these days
£50 used be sufficient for a nice present, but that barely buys a candle these days.

My child id rather buy one big thing as I cannot cope with loads of cheap stuff which is used once if that then lays around for years on end.. that said, I do feel bad about the pile and think it part of being a kid at Xmas.

I do buy for my sisters who are on opposite ends of the spectrum: one asks for apple macs, ghds, £250 trainers, perfume at £100 was the cheapest thing on her list! She even had the cheek to say liaise with each other as she doesn't want duplicates 😅 as if she was going to end up with x2 macs...
My other sister asks for things like a flask, hairdryer, hot water bottle

Well you know what to do this year
Just say you're not exchanging gifts this year and don't expect anything back - which you won't get anyway cos they didn't last year.

I hear you, op
My dds like cash from wider family but still love a stocking and parcels to open from us
It's getting harder with older dd (21) as she's on a uni placement year and has most things she needs. Not interested in fashion, fragrance, tech etc
Younger dd a lot easier - loves fashion, make up, fragrance, books, home decor for her room etc
But the costs are eye-watering. For even basic stuff.
I was in next the other day, and I found a hoodie for dh. £65! When did that happen? Not branded, regular size, just a plain hoodie!
Primark is now much more expensive...I saw a shirt, but it was £20...which for the quality is too much, imho (you used to be able to get a while outfit at primark for that!)
Fancy knickers which they only get st Christmas are £££
I start early (august) and get make up/toiletries in the end of summer sales
Boots do their £10 Tuesdays every week and occasionally there's something good listed
I pre order books I think they'll like all through the year (awesome books is a
Good site or waterstones)
Look out for money off gift cards like Costa etc
I trawl online for silly techy things like white noise machines or phone accessories
I use etsy and vinted a lot
Prices have gone mad, though, I agree

Sorry OP but it doesn't sound a magical Christmas to me. It sounds like materialism, worry and hard work.

If you have brought your children up with the expectation that Christmas is all about them giving you a shopping list of things they want and you will supply what's on it then it's difficult to change things. But they are old enough to understand about money and surely buying one thing that they really want is the way to go?

I'm not sure that teens think of even a large pile of items that they've chosen themselves as "magical".

Why not focus on things that you do together that don't need to cost too much?
if you want a pile then pad out with cheap useful items.

1. Something they want
2. Somethig they need
3. Something to eat
4. Something to read

Or something g like that.

No-one needs a pile. The excess involved in Christmas makes me nauseous.

£500 each is a lot

No they won't. Go to B&M and get toys and bits from there.

I'd buy the kids one item and give them £400 cash and let them decide how to spend it and discover how far (or not) it goes.