Christmas has become very expensive.

[Flutterbycustard]

Just sat here planning Christmas and how much we will spend on kids (older teens) and family.
Have had a few requests and been to look the products up. When did hoodies, polo shirts and aftershave get so expensive?!

Usually we budget about £500 each on our children, and we’ve always considered them very, very fortunate. We know lots of people have a lot less to spend. But looking at the prices this year, £500 isn’t going to go far on adult kids.

Aftershave alone is nearly £100. The desired hoodie is over £100. They want some cash as well. There definitely won’t be much of a pile. And I know we are the lucky ones. A pack of boxers is over £30 and socks nearly £20 (the ones they like anyway).

I’m feeling like £500 looks really inadequate, yet I know that £500 is a hell of a lot of money and to even consider spending more is ridiculous. Plus, we don’t have more to budget for Christmas anyway.

I know there comes a point when the pile of gifts shrinks and Christmas is less about the presents, but I can’t believe £500pp isn’t going to completely spoil them anymore.

Nieces and Nephews will get cash, but again, £20 - £30 pp is just looking so mean. But we have too many to increase spends as DH has five siblings, each with 2 or 3 children. I also have siblings, but only a couple of nieces on my side.

Is this cost of living kicking in; or has it just always been this way as kids get older. I’m actually dreading how much it’s all looking to cost this year and wishing we’d cut back more gradually starting a few years ago.

I agree op. Always buy my adult DCs a bottle of perfume/aftershave and nice labels but there are three of them plus long term boyfriends/girlfriends now and double significant birthdays in the family. It’s a fortune. And doesn’t even look much!

I know my (still young) teen dd would rather have nothing than totally the wrong brand of clothing. It is important to them, and I get it - my cheap Woolworths trainers were derided by my school friends.

I have “trained” my dd to keep a small wardrobe and to buy most of her casual wardrobe from Vinted so it actually leaves a really big budget for that extra special brand new Xmas gift.

I remember the first time I took her shopping after Covid and her eyes popped out of her head when she saw the price tags of new items - she had no idea how much new clothes cost since we had only shopped Vinted in lockdown (the first actual shop she went in was Hollister; pre Covid she wasn’t into clothes so she had never wanted to go out shopping.)

The shock really sank in fast… “but mum this jumper costs, like, a third of a weekly Tesco shop!”

I have explained to her a concept of “per wear” cost - so a lovely £15 dress you wear once is actually expensive (unless you can sell it!); a favourite pair of £60 jeans you wear two hundred times is not expensive per wear and worth investing in items you love and will last a while.

If they are adults they don't need "a pile", FFS. (I mean neither do little kids, but that's a whole other story). £100 each is already excessively generous, so they can either have a hoody each, or £100 in cash. Sorted.

But, again, getting something the person wants is the whole point of a present.

I'm sure if OP couldn't afford the £100 hoody then the child would prefer £30 cash so they could save up and get it themselves rather than a £30 jumper from m&s they will never wear because "it's the same thing"

Most people actually like their families and buy presents to reflect their love, not to make some sort of point that the recipient is too selfish or high maintenance or whatever.

I would 100% prefer to get nothing (and in fact tell my family not to bother every year) than get something I don't want and won't use - because then I feel guilty for not liking it, awkward because do I pretend I love it and get it again next year or have the conversation that I don't, and irritated because there's usually an expectation that I then spend my money getting them something. None of that is what Christmas is about. Just give something that the recipient will actually want with good grace or don't bother....its not the time to try and score a point.

@another1bitestheduck I totally agree with this, except in the case of my gran who bought such tragically bad presents I always looked forward to it … eg when I was 21 she bought me a cerise fuzzy dressing gown from the market, floor length and buttoned-up to the neck. Probably highly flammable. She was so pleased and I got so good at acting grateful. The Christmas tradition of “what has gran bought this year” was something we all massively looked forward to.

Thank the lord my uncle knew what to buy me (books, books and more books).

£100 for aftershave or a hoodie, boxers at £30 and socks for £20 isn't cost of living, you just have children with high expectations and expensive tastes.

This.

Honestly, unless you can genuine afford this sort of thing without putting any stress on your household budget and savings plans I would never have entertained this in the first place! £500 per kid is a high spend!

Wanting £100 hoodie or perfume is OK, but they don’t need 5 such items unless you can afford it, or a big ‘pile’

We have dropped adult presents between siblings.

We have a rule once your 18, no more gifts for nephews & nieces unless your at university if you work then you can afford your own things. they do get a box of celebrations though.

My oldest son is a teen and I've spent £800 so far on TWO presents it's heartbreaking but it's a one off this year and something he's asked for 5 years running.

I think it’s rubbish to get a ‘knock off’ of something specific they’ve asked for. If you can’t afford it, then say so. Or offer to put some money towards it. But to buy a cheaper version because it ‘looks similar’ is more wasteful and mean.

Why wouldn’t you want to get them something they’ve asked for?

Race to the bottom isn't it. Competitive underspending.

We have the same issue with inlaws. Lovely as they are, they buy us stuff we don’t need or want. Yet every year… for the past 20yrs! We asked them not to.

Don’t do this - if they’ve asked for something specific they probably won’t want the half price version from a lesser brand and then the whole thing is a waste. They’re old enough to know how much things cost so go with what they actually want and they’ll love it! There’s a good thread on here at the moment for luxurious stocking fillers about £10-15 so you could add a few surprises for each child (more of a “pile”) and a couple of the more expensive items they’ve specified and come well under £500. The stocking filler list would be good for ideas for the nieces and nephews too - someone’s written some of the things that are specifically trendy for teens/early 20s this year.

I'd never get a cheaper version for a teen tbh. Get the real thing but less other stuff.

I'm always surprised how little people spend on Christmas because just doing it the usual way costs a lot of money, and yet on MN they will say they only spend £50 a child, or or £50 on Christmas food. I won't say what we spend on Christmas but I see people talking about it online and calling high numbers grotesque, we can afford it, we save through the year but I could happily spend more and still don't think it would look outwardly outrageous.

I think you’re buying too many high end items. We don’t spend anywhere near £500pp for adults or children. For dc, maybe £200, but adults it’s like £50 pp. Cheap and cheerful. I got a bunch of nice coffee from BIL last year (max £30?) and a scarf from MIL (£15?). No way in hell I’d be buying anyone a £100 hoodie. They don’t cost that much. Only on TikTok. 🙄

What has gone up is cost of food. We usually host family for a week, meaning we pay for 7 days of food, drink, chocolates, snacks for everyone. It’s bloody expensive. Last year I’d say probably £1500 on food and drink alone. No one would ever contribute 🙄 though we did get a round of drinks at the pub last year. We aren’t hosting this year, not for CoL reasons, but I will be grateful to not burn all that money.

@IVFmumoftwo

Sure it does

It's a ridiculous thing to be anxious about. Adult kids don't need a 'pile' of presents at Christmas!
£500 is our entire Christmas budget for everything including food. Your kids need to check their privilege 🙄

The teen hasn't asked for Brand Hoodie as they need a hoodie.. they've asked for it as its a special item. A gift level of item, no something you buy yourself, unless you save up especially.

My mum is getting me a suitcase this year... I'm currently using a bag for life on a weekend away. Which does the job. But a suitcase is nicer.

My teen is having money this year. He will get a £20 stocking to open but thats it. He totally understands that. He can put together his Xmas money from family and buy something more expensive. He is also happy with designer clothes from vinted. It sound's like you can afford it but just think it's a lot. I couldn't afford £500 per child, so Christmas can't be that expensive for many of us.

You'll get a lot of hate for saying this but it's true, I spent £78 on my daughters perfume for her birthday and it was tiny! The hoodies and trainers kids like are now adult sizes and very expensive.

Thank you for this. I know they’d absolutely love jars of Nutella each and s’mores kits, as well as those fruit original source shower gels. Brilliant thanks.

They're adults. Surely they understand how much things cost? Why on earth do grown ups need a "pile"? Time for them to learn they can't always have everything they want.

Aftershave alone is nearly £100. The desired hoodie is over £100. They want some cash as well.

Sorry, but bugger what they ‘want’. They are adult kids and know how much the stuff they want costs!

I would be having a conversation with them-‘you can have a big thing and some little things. Do you want the big thing to be a branded hoodie, some money or the aftershave? Then ask for some suggestions for little things. A book? A hoodie (for £30!), some moisturiser, a cushion etc etc

They can’t have three ‘big’ things AND a load of other stuff just to make a magical pile (well, they couldn’t in my house anyway).

This is your call, but as you’re the one stressing about money, you have the power to set the rules.

As for nieces and nephews, we stop buying at 18 and don’t buy for siblings.

One thing off their list, some favourite edibles.. not expensive ones and possibly £50 in a fancy envelope?
If they are not delighted they need to give their heads a wobble... Christmas should not be something to lose sleep over... decide on a budget and stick to it.

So £500 doesn't go as far as it used to. I'm sure your kids realise that! So they don't get everything they want. Or get cheaper alternatives.
We never had a fixed budget with our kids (though we did try to limit gifts to each other to £50). But I'd say as young kids it was £100-200. As teens my son wanted cash more than anything so a few small presents like pjs, books, puzzle, maybe footie team shirt and cash. DD just wants books.
I buy for my siblings and one niece and my step grandkids but no one else outside the family. My DH has passed away but he would buy books for his side.

I could afford it, but that’s still mad to me.