Christmas has become very expensive.

[Flutterbycustard]

Just sat here planning Christmas and how much we will spend on kids (older teens) and family.
Have had a few requests and been to look the products up. When did hoodies, polo shirts and aftershave get so expensive?!

Usually we budget about £500 each on our children, and we’ve always considered them very, very fortunate. We know lots of people have a lot less to spend. But looking at the prices this year, £500 isn’t going to go far on adult kids.

Aftershave alone is nearly £100. The desired hoodie is over £100. They want some cash as well. There definitely won’t be much of a pile. And I know we are the lucky ones. A pack of boxers is over £30 and socks nearly £20 (the ones they like anyway).

I’m feeling like £500 looks really inadequate, yet I know that £500 is a hell of a lot of money and to even consider spending more is ridiculous. Plus, we don’t have more to budget for Christmas anyway.

I know there comes a point when the pile of gifts shrinks and Christmas is less about the presents, but I can’t believe £500pp isn’t going to completely spoil them anymore.

Nieces and Nephews will get cash, but again, £20 - £30 pp is just looking so mean. But we have too many to increase spends as DH has five siblings, each with 2 or 3 children. I also have siblings, but only a couple of nieces on my side.

Is this cost of living kicking in; or has it just always been this way as kids get older. I’m actually dreading how much it’s all looking to cost this year and wishing we’d cut back more gradually starting a few years ago.

You need to inflation adjust the budget or just accept that you can buy less for the same amount.

I don't think I could come up with a list of things I'd want that would come to £200 let alone £500, and I know my kids won't be able to.. I asked the other day and there's nothing they can think of that they want (DS15 and DS19). I expect I'll find small things that come to £100 but only because I don't like the idea of nothing under the tree....

COL has obviously gone up a lot but I think the issue is your kids have very expensive tastes. You shouldn't be upping your budget to accommodate the same number of expensive presents as you would buy less expensive presents.

They could choose a £30 hoodie and have 3 if they wanted more to unwrap.

DSD 15 has only asked for £50 of stuff from Temu. She'll have a good selection of random tat to unwrap, and a fair bit of money to spend.

£500 is a very generous amount for children I would say. As they are adults, I would say it is extremely generous. If you have the money, they are thankful and you enjoy giving go-ahead. However, I would.advise that you stick to the budget with the expectation that they are adults and should know full well what things cost. Likewise, I we don't buy for neices and nephews once they are.grown up. If they're getting £30 in cash they should be grateful.
Even if you have the money, I'm.not sure it is helpful to be top super abundant as it can breed expectation. It may also make them feel like they aren't doing a good enough job when they are buying for their own children and maybe have more limited means.

I think the problem you have is that you are still trying to make it 'magical' by buying stuff. This is sort of possible while kids are small, but you are not going to achieve this now that they are adults. You are worried that they will be disappointed. They might be, but you can't prevent that. Spending more will certainly not prevent it. Disappointment is actually a normal part of growing up and realizing that things are not magical. Presents from you are a wonderful token of your love as well as a bit of extra luxury for them while they can't afford nicer things. You are doing enough. No need to increase the budget now.

Brilliant advice 👏

If they are at Uni, they are adults! You don’t need to give more than one present to an adult!

@Flutterbycustard Unfortunately you’re hoping that your £500 spend per child will bring you back the Christmases of yore. Where your young children would wake up at the crack of dawn, excited at the thought of Father Christmas and tear open their gifts. So excited for Christmas Day, like in the films and all the build up and anticipation of the big day. For teens it’s not like that, the magic is already gone. You can still have a lovely day and make nice memories but worry less that you need to spend £££ and focus on creating new traditions.

Many people would wish they had the sort of money you mention. I think you need to set lower expectations, and be consistent among all those you buy presents for.

The point about how older children see Christmas is well made.

Look at the boots star buys for aftershave and perfume. Wait for black Friday sales for clothes, there's some good discounts. When it comes to nieces and nephews I but xmas cards in the Jan sales and pop their Xmas money in over the course of the year (one every month or so). I buy other bits over the course of the year. Clearance gift sets, make up brushes, skin care, make up, hair care on sites like look fantastic. Brand Alley have some great bargains too x

Why are you spending £500 on an adult child? You can get a decent perfume in Boots for £60. Thats sufficient OP.

Sit the kids down & tell them now that your not able to up the budget so due the the inflation on items they will get less for their money.
Mine are both married I’ve brought a couple of small gifts exactly same amount spent on each & I’ll give them £50 per couple but that’s it we don’t get anything from them as we appreciate they both trying to make ends meet but grandchildren will get gifts but they’re tiny so we won’t go crazy

I think she’s just always spent that and can afford to so why not?

There seems to be a real divide between those who like to treat their children to the extent they can afford (however old they are), and those who want to buy the bare minimum gifts and find cheaper versions of what they actually want.

It goes without saying that adult children don’t NEED loads of presents, but none of us actually NEED many of the things that we spend money on in life, and yet we still buy them. Sometimes it’s nice to treat yourself to something luxurious, and sometimes it’s nice to treat your children too.

Absolutely this, we spend similar on ours and they're in there 20s. It's nice to treat them as they've never been demanding kids. If we couldn't afford it I'd explain that to them but as I said in a previous post, I look out for bargains throughout the year

I’ve told my kids that as we are all adult we don’t need to go in for the loads of stuff Christmas. They agree.
We’re planning on new/funny games to play over the season, and a few basics wrapped in tinsel.
Its about fun, enjoying togetherness and not stuff.
They are skint, so helped by this.

I think maybe you’ve misunderstood. I don’t think £500 per child is that much these days, but OP seems to think that £500 isn’t going far enough with the more expensive gifts that her teens are requesting. Of course they are getting what they want and something they like/will use. I also don’t agree with buying piles of tat. But my point was that you will never really see the same excitement with teens as you do with small children at Christmas time, it’s just part of them getting older. I think Christmas can lose the shine a bit for teens so it’s worth making some new traditions.

It's time people starting rejecting all this Christmas crap. Thinking you've got to spend loads of money just because supposedly a baby was born sometime in December.

I absolutely do think £500 per child is a lot these days!

it’s posts like this that set up ridiculous expectations- £100-200 per child is generous in our household and that feels like pushing the boat out. We aren’t struggling financially just make different choices

@Courgettesandonions perfect.
They get cash they can spend as they choose and yes that 100 hoodie may seem less desirable.

Expectations for whom? Families have always spent very differently on gifts depending on means; there’s absolutely nothing new about that.

That’s okay, we’re all allowed to make different choices. If it’s easily affordable to spend £500 then no one’s being hurt. My household doesn’t set the expectation in yours. I had said in a previous post that rather than OP upping her spend she should look to do different things with her teens. I don’t think for teens/young adults if they want more expensive things that you can get much for £500. We don’t all have to spend the same, if you don’t want to see into others choices and lifestyles then don’t let mumsnet stress you out.

A person at uni is not earning the same as one in full time employment. Even with a job, the money is normally used for living costs and learning to pay for themselves.

DD will be at uni next year, her loan is not enough to live, sleep and travel. We have to subsidise her significantly. A job where she would earn enough is very hard to get as there are more people looking for work than positions and she also has to study.
No way she could afford a new laptop for example herself.

If my child is at uni I treat it like she would be still at home in education and that means spoiling her for things she is not able to afford herself.

This seems a very sensible solution to me. We are doing the same with DN's but £50main and £10 in little gifts

If my child is at uni I treat it like she would be still at home in education and that means spoiling her for things she is not able to afford herself

agreed - I find this MN attitude of cut them off at 18 so weird. I wonder how much if it comes from parents who have not seen DC through further eductation

I’ve bought eldest some treats
perfume/makeup/jumper/necklace which comes to about £500

and then a lot of basics that she simply can’t afford as a student: cotton bed linen; socks/tights/underwear/PJs; toiletries; some decent winter boots and that’s more than the treats.

I think it is different if they are skint at uni but my ds lives at home and earns more than I do. If he wants something he buys it.