What's your really pointless super power?

[MyTaupeHare]

I can tell, just from a photo of their face, if a person has a lisp.

I have yet to find a use for this undoubted super power.

What's your really useless super power?

I can read upside down. I can also read to children with expression etc while thinking about something else entirely (unless I think about how I'm doing it then it all goes wrong)

I’m a perfectly normal looking middle aged woman, but always look amazing in any type of hat!
More useful is that I can reverse park and parallel park in any space that a car can fit in.

On the ambidextrous handwriting, my sister can and my daughter has taught herself to. Mam was and sister is left handed. Mam could write something different at the same time, with either hand and also mirror writing (the same thing) with both hands at once.

I can do a lot of these too.
Read upside down ✔️
Cross one eye at a time ✔️
Raise one eyebrow at a time ✔️
Put thumb on wrist ✔️
Pick up things with my toes ✔️
Hear electricity ✔️
Super smeller power ✔️

In addition, when people drop coins on hard floors, I know which coins without looking, from the sound they make.

I know when a rainbow is about to appear and where to look for it.

I can interpret the speech of young children, and can read terrible handwriting. Those two are not useless superpowers though.

Hmmm, clearly upside down reading is a fairly widespread skill...

I can tell what my dog is thinking

Because of a job I had several decades ago I know the dialing codes for every country in the world. This is a useless girl because I haven't actually telephone anybody abroad for at least 20 years.

But I suppose that can be useful

I can get from A to B in a car or on a bike in good time without using Satnav, without taking a paper map or using any sort of software.

Before I leave the house, I simply open Google Earth on my PC, drop down to the street view within 100 metres of my destination and by gauging the surrounds and shadows I know exactly how to arrive there. I then use my mind only. From Exeter to Edinburgh and everywhere in-between it works. The only challenging places are Coventry and Croydon. The easiest places are London and most places beginning with B. On time, no hassle, without support.

Useful for me. No good to anyone else.

I can tell if the clothes in the dryer are wet or dry by looking at the door window.

I know if my child wants something, needs something or needs to ask something the minute they walk in the door.

I know if something has happened to upset or bother my child the minute they pop up on FaceTime.

I know what my dog wants every time she looks at me.

I am a super recogniser. This is completely pointless and just means I recognise loads of people. Really embarrassing when it’s people I went to high school with when their child ends up being taught by me and they don’t remember me at all (I must be v forgettable)

I can go into people's dreams

In the future, present or past? Go into my dream.

I can smell when my family are getting ill before they feel unwell.

I can predict thunderstorms behind my eyes.

I'm freakily double jointed.

I can untie any knot

I can do both of these too! I can also make my hair move so it looks like I'm wearing a wig.

I can wake up naturally 5 minutes before the alarm. Changing the alarm time will not alter this ability. I haven’t heard our alarm in decades - I always turn it off. It’s entirely pointless and serves no purpose at all.

I can also stop mid-dream and change what’s happening. I usually see myself and others in my dream, almost as though I’m watching the scene on TV - except I can walk around freely, even float. I rewind and replay. I had no idea this wasn’t the norm until fairly recently when discussing my misunderstanding of nightmares with friends.

I’s usually talented with umbrellas and can seamlessly move around a group making sure people of different heights are covered as fairly as possible. So many people seem to bash into taller people / not see short people.

I know the phonetic alphabet better than the real one. I'm lightning fast at reading letters out with it. I don't work in an industry where I need that anymore. I've just got to pray I'm on the motorway one day on the phone to the police and they need me to read out car regs. Ultimate show off time.

I'm also really good at spelling because I can see words in my head. But no one needs that either because we have spell check now.

Sale shopping, I’m basically an expensive things truffle pig. Show me a designer sale bin and I’ll find you (me) the gold.

Oh and I remember handwriting. I can find an essay from a group of hundreds of students and remember who has written it with uncanny accuracy levels. I also recognise features of their personality that seem to correspond with their handwriting. This may be part of the reason I remember it. My DH noticed it when I clicked through posted birthday cards saying who had sent them from the address.

It's only at the time we're both dreaming. It's happened twice, with my sister. I mean I could try, but it might be even rarer since I don't know you. I'll try over the next few days, although I don't know how we will recognise it's happened unless we both keep posting about our dream I'd say, we would both have to at least agree to it and perhaps have a key word- say violets before falling asleep

I can give myself goosebumps on demand within seconds without having to do anything to cause them. Absolutely pointless.

I would love to be able to sleep at will so so much

I can tell if people usually wear glasses when they're not wearing them.

I can spot the children who need additional support in any class photo (100% success rate).