Please help me melt his heart ❤️

[Heybearu]

So having had a really not great time on online dating...I've finally started to speak with someone I would like to impress. Ladies he sings, he bakes bread, he reads he's the main parent. I'm in heaven.
Id like to give him a book at our first date....he likes most genres...nothing like super seedy tho as he's quite wholesome...what can I give him that will melt his heart so I get to keep him forever?
Or at last so he looks back and thinks that was cool.
Help please x

DH had me at "steamed beetroot". We used to chat about our workouts and food, and I couldn't believe a man would cook steamed beetroot for himself. Well, here we are, 10 years and 2 kids later :)

You should consider that the date could find OP's book gesture off-putting, which then would bring her back down to earth (with a thud!) and make her feel rubbish.

If I was intent to spread love and joy, I wouldn't choose the high-risk-of-failure option.

Every man I've dated, has done so without me buying them a book. Conversely, no one has turned me down because I didn't bring them something to read (maybe they didn't tell 😂)

Well, they say there’s no pot so odd it can’t find a lid.

Imagine having to cart that fucker round all night

What's the name/ author please??

The soul of the octopus by Sy Montgomery.

it worked, we’re still together after five years and he still brings me incredibly niche gifts which melt my heart.

@Heybearu

If you do give up on the book idea, then please don't go for the other "romantic" keepsake option that is a potted plant.

He will feel weird if the plant has developed jaundice and dropped it's leaves before the date two comes round.
Even worse if you end up in a relationship - you'll have to watch that thing being slowly tortured forever.

Thank you so very much!! Wonderful present idea x

I dated a guy for a few months based mainly on his claim that he made bread. Took him fucking ages to make me a focaccia after bigging himself up for ages. It was ok, needed more salt. And the bread was the best thing about him tbh.

As for the “main parent” bit - I hate to break it to you but that isn’t a plus. Just read some of the step parenting threads on here.

You need to take a giant step back until you’ve met. I had several dates that didn’t even happen due to them cancelling on the night - one as I was on my way out the door. Men who are online dating are overwhelmingly trash. There’s a high chance this one is trash. Save your money until date 5 or 6 when you’ll have a better idea of whether he’s worth it.

I think OP is being tongue in cheek about this. At least I hope so, otherwise she is slightly deranged ❤️

I absolutely loved The Book Thief

It sounds like you’ve taken the feedback on board, I dated extensively (like 100+ men) mostly online and in all honesty the ones I was most excited about and had best first dates generally quickly fizzled out. Don’t get over invested. You don’t need to impress him, try to rein in your enthusiasm. This of it as a job interview and you’re the employer, you want him to want it, but the emphasis is on him proving his worth and keenness on you. It’s lovely that he sings and makes bread - but is he a decent bloke, will he pull his weight and look after you, these things can only be assessed over some time.

I mean potentially I'm a bit of both.
Some great recommendations for me to read though 😀

Nope. And he's refused money towards the date when booking it X I think the thought came from that I think he's potentially the type to bring me flowers..so a possible exchange felt potentially ok but I can hear from the feedback it's really not.
Which is ok.
We have been talking about writing a book together so I might at a later date get him a nice note book and just write Chapter one inside. I think he'd like something like that.

I definitely am too invested but it's quite hard for me not to be, I'm a heart on my sleeve type person

Good heavens, if I went on a first date with somebody this intense not a chance there’d be a second!

Writing a book with a stranger 😂

In all seriousness he's really got you reeled in; just be careful.

I hope it's genuine, but please be careful.

Don't fall in love with people because of their hobbies...

...especially if you're at the point that those hobbies are just things they've listed on their dating profile rather than things you've actually seen them do. You find a lot of 'avid readers' who rarely pick up books, or bread bakers who got a bread machine one Christmas.

Something like this?

Maybe you could take him some posh butter. It’s less personal but more jokey, and shows you’ve taken an interest in his bread. The butter to his bread!

And he has to carry a pack of melting butter around on the date?

Don't take him anything. Really.

I bet he means he bungs some ingredients in a bread machine.

Maybe this?

Sorry, image didn't load on my last post!

Emotionally investing in someone you haven't met is a good indication that you need to work a bit on your boundaries and self esteem.

This man is quite possibly just telling you what you want to hear. Discussing writing a book together with someone you don't know is nuts. He's reeling you in with nonsense like this so that you find it hard to walk away when you discover he isn't all that great after all.

And if he's not - if he is genuine - then he also does not have good boundaries or a mature attitude towards relationships.

In all seriousness, OP, you need to be careful.

You are jumping ahead of yourself again. Planning future gifts for later dates and talking about writing a novel with someone you have never even met yet. You might not even get beyond date one. It sounds as if you want a Disney movie relationship. Life is not like that. Please slow down before you get badly hurt.