MN rules for life - shame edition

[Over40Overdating]

There have been so many bonkers threads lately where OPs have been shamed for what most people in real life would considered normal that I think some MNetters live in an alternate universe.

Shaming people for relatively normal things is off the charts right now.
I’ve got a list of things I now look out for on threads to play rules bingo - please add your MN bingo rules for life: shame edition!

• if you drink alone or at home, you have a drinking problem

• drinking whilst being a parent? JAIL

• express an opinion or anger about violence against women and girls - you are a misandrist and a man hater cos NAMALT

• Got a sex life that is not vanilla but harms no one? You should have more respect for yourself, you harlot

• Like to eat food that isn’t green and in larger portions than matchbox size? You are ‘scoffing’ and ‘gorging’ on rubbish, piggy

• Got a twatty partner who does things to drive you mad? Have you looked at yourself to see why you are causing this?

• Need to go no contact with toxic family or parents? You only get one mother / father and should take any shit they throw at you because someone who has no experience of abuse or family dysfunction thinks you sound selfish and childish. And didn’t you know some people have dead parents and you are being SO disrespectful to them?

• If you have an overbearing or interfering MIL you need to keep your mouth shut because you might be a MIL one day and how would you feel if your DIL talks about you this way?

What have I missed?

Oh gosh, I think I was on that thread too. And some people saying you should be paid less benefits if you have the audacity to have a pet.

This thread is very cathartic though, so thanks for that. MN can be utter batshit at times.

Letting your dc choose their own bedtime at weekends, decide what to spend their own pocket money on, play out in the street and walk themselves to and from school before the age of 18 - however could they possibly manage unsupervised? It's utterly irresponsible of you, and you are an awful parent.

Not allowing your dc to choose their own bedtime at weekends, decide what to spend their own pocket money on, play out in the street or walk themselves to and from school before the age of 18 - how are they going to learn to become independent if you don't let go of the apron strings? You are an awful parent.

There is no work harder than being a SAHM.
vs
Being a SAHM is not really a job

@Eastie77Returns don’t forget everyone up north is so smiley and friendly because they all live such simple lives compared to the cultured beings down south and would be delighted by a wave of immigration from Londoners looking to bring a bit of culture to their dull lives.

Also all Londoners who move to the country side are tone deaf bastards who don’t know how the countryside works so should be mocked and excluded to teach them a lesson.

If your DH/DP is ND then you are going to spend your your best years crying into your wine glass, being shouted at, never being hugged etc. LTB now and find yourself a sweet NT guy.. because they are perfect and never do wrong.

@XenoBitch I believe the suggestion was to withhold all benefits until people agree to euthanise their pets as why should tax payers feed dogs and cats. Psychopathic.

If you are earning £200k a year, you must say it really isn't much and struggle to manage. Especially with the school fees (essential) and the holidays.
If you earn under £25k a year, you are clearly without ambition or brains and deserve to be poor

NMW jobs are just for teens and older people wanting pin money (to supplement a pension).
If you are in your 30s and in a NMW job, then you are a failure as a person, and should not be topped up with UC as it is your fault.

If you are unemployed, then you can just do a coding bootcamp, and be earning £50k within weeks. If you are autistic, then you have a "coding gene" so must be a savant with computers. Rubbish with people? Be a programmer. It is piss easy, and you can earn millions within months. You never have to deal with clients, or have job interviews... you just type away at home, and get paid.

You must never lie to DC about Santa and any DC who believe after age 5 must either be SEN or be not as bright as poster's children who figured it out at their first Christmas

Help Mnetters. I bought a fillet steak and it's been in the fridge since yesterday. The use by date says to use it by 14 September. If I cook it tonight it's the end of 14 September. Will it still be okay to use. Or should I chuck it in the bin?

Mnetters. I made a large dinner last night and there is a lot left. I left it on the side for 0.02 seconds before putting in the fridge. Will i get food poisoning if we have some tomorrow.

Everyone can afford to send their children to private school provided they save hard enough. If you think you can't afford to send your DC to private school, it's because you haven't noticed how much you are in fact spending on foreign holidays and expensive cars - either that or you're the kind of feckless mother who chooses to destroy the planet by having 3 children.

My temperature is 88292 degrees and I feel like I’m dying, should I go to A&E?

Thankfully most posted will do a very aggressive A&E NOW

I cooked some chicken, and put it out on the counter. I left the room to check on the DC. Do you think I need to bin it?

Mumsnetters should I go to hospital? I have gangrene in my leg and am lapsing in and out of consciousness, pic attached
First 12 posts, go to A and E now.
13th post. If you are well enough to post, it can't be that bad
Posts 14 to 20. Call 111 or go to a walk in centre.
Posts 21 to 40, anecdotes abouts people they have known who lost a leg etc
Posts 40 to the end of time. Why hasn't OP updated, we deserve/demand to know what happened

@Over40Overdating -wish I met women with a sense of humour like you in real life to have as friends- !!

People getting into a state of high dudgeon at lighthearted threads is definitely a feature - nice!

😂😂😂

Thread a few months ago where someone in, iirc, her 40s talked about fancying a young male 20s-something celebrity. The op was cringily ott, but the pile-on where she was shamed for being a perverted old woman was ridiculously puritanical.

She got properly told off for objectifying the poor chap and being utterly disgusting for being attracted to someone much younger.

Rather than put 111 into my phone and talk to a professional, I found it far easier to post an essay on MN about how I deserve A&E, and hear about how if I don't go right now, I will drop down dead from a painful toe.
MN is a lot faster than 111 and 999. It should be an emergency service.

It's my 30th birthday next month. I'm only on 75k, have half a million in my pension, and 8 mortgage payments left. Will I be destitute as a pensioner?

What do you mean you put that enormous unexpected bill on a credit card, don't you have savings? Or can't you do without the car getting through the MOT / emergency dentistry / working boiler and live within your means?

Guests always take shoes off: it’s a global standard, apparently. (Somebody actually said this!)

The rule is that you need to put lighthearted on your thread title OP.

Otherwise, how is the 1% going to know ....

Did you mean to say Sepsis...?

A comment I read years ago that stuck in my mind - most financial advice on MN for those who are struggling is just "why don't you use your other money?".

It always makes me laugh how people are “curious” or “interested” in something the OP posts. They’re just being passive aggressive a lot of the time.

Posters who accuse others of having a lack of critical thinking skills make me roll my eyes.