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MN rules for life - shame edition

263 replies

Over40Overdating · 14/09/2024 18:41

There have been so many bonkers threads lately where OPs have been shamed for what most people in real life would considered normal that I think some MNetters live in an alternate universe.

Shaming people for relatively normal things is off the charts right now.
I’ve got a list of things I now look out for on threads to play rules bingo - please add your MN bingo rules for life: shame edition!

  • if you drink alone or at home, you have a drinking problem
  • drinking whilst being a parent? JAIL
  • express an opinion or anger about violence against women and girls - you are a misandrist and a man hater cos NAMALT
  • Got a sex life that is not vanilla but harms no one? You should have more respect for yourself, you harlot
  • Like to eat food that isn’t green and in larger portions than matchbox size? You are ‘scoffing’ and ‘gorging’ on rubbish, piggy
  • Got a twatty partner who does things to drive you mad? Have you looked at yourself to see why you are causing this?
  • Need to go no contact with toxic family or parents? You only get one mother / father and should take any shit they throw at you because someone who has no experience of abuse or family dysfunction thinks you sound selfish and childish. And didn’t you know some people have dead parents and you are being SO disrespectful to them?
  • If you have an overbearing or interfering MIL you need to keep your mouth shut because you might be a MIL one day and how would you feel if your DIL talks about you this way?

What have I missed?

OP posts:
Over40Overdating · 14/09/2024 22:12

@Crikeyalmighty I would say thank you for the compliment but how do you know who I really am? I could be a brick shit house type called Harold who gets his jollies pretending to be a woman online.

You should go to an evening class or litter pick to meet people.

To paraphrase a PP - who cares about what happens in MN, we should all get off it and be in the real world. Don’t point out the irony though, that would be rude.

(thank you really though. I would love to meet some of the women I’ve met in here IRL. It’s harder as you get older to meet people you chime with and for all the batshittery, this place does have it’s plus points)

OP posts:
Over40Overdating · 14/09/2024 22:14

@DadJoke @murphys
I think that post is high performance art. Flawless execution. No notes. The poster won’t even break character to come back to say they were joking.

10/10

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 14/09/2024 22:17

murphys · 14/09/2024 21:53

Did you mean to say Sepsis...?

Nooo, MN sepsis can be sorted with a lie down and some Anadin.

Over40Overdating · 14/09/2024 22:17

@XenoBitch @murphys
Unless food is moved directly from cooker to fridge, it’s riddled with salmonella and should be thrown away.

Use by dates are both the law and useless.

Also food waste when people are starving is outrageous and you could have just cut round any dodgy bits. Back in the day we’d have just picked the moving bits off and eaten it.

OP posts:
Candyiris · 14/09/2024 22:18

Once you birth a child, if you then dare to see your own mother even fractionally more than your MIL then you obviously hate her, ABVVVVU and are a selfish, unthinking cowbag. IT'S YOUR DH'S CHILD TOO!! "But I'm just seeing my mum". YOU ARE HONESTLY TOO VILE FOR WORDS AND MASSIVELY CONTROLLING.

If you ever sit on your bed whilst wearing OUTDOOR CLOTHES, then you have contaminated your entire sleeping area and you will have to incinerate all bedding and ideally your bed too.

You left your dog in the car on a cold day while you popped into the post office? You disgust me and should be banned from ever owning a dog.

XenoBitch · 14/09/2024 22:18

Over40Overdating · 14/09/2024 22:17

@XenoBitch @murphys
Unless food is moved directly from cooker to fridge, it’s riddled with salmonella and should be thrown away.

Use by dates are both the law and useless.

Also food waste when people are starving is outrageous and you could have just cut round any dodgy bits. Back in the day we’d have just picked the moving bits off and eaten it.

Back in my day, my parents packed up the food I left and shipped it off to starving orphans in Africa.

Jewelanemone · 14/09/2024 22:20

Absolutely brilliant thread 😆

Deliiciousllydifffident · 14/09/2024 22:24

XenoBitch · 14/09/2024 21:44

I cooked some chicken, and put it out on the counter. I left the room to check on the DC. Do you think I need to bin it?

If it’s part of a whole chicken, that will feed your entire family for a week.

Aroastdinnerisnotahumanright · 14/09/2024 22:24

I still can't work out if the recent thread where the husband's leg looked like it was about to fall off and the OP was asking if they should go to a&e was a wind-up or not.

Deliiciousllydifffident · 14/09/2024 22:29

Pensioners just need to cut back on how many bottles of wine they drink, to cope with losing the winter fuel allowance.

XenoBitch · 14/09/2024 22:30

Aroastdinnerisnotahumanright · 14/09/2024 22:24

I still can't work out if the recent thread where the husband's leg looked like it was about to fall off and the OP was asking if they should go to a&e was a wind-up or not.

If it fell off, it could be the new MN chicken. An adult leg would feed them for ages. They could even slice some off and donate to to foodbanks for the people with Ranger Rovers who go on lots of holidays.

Over40Overdating · 14/09/2024 22:31

@XenoBitch I actually suggested that to my parents once. It didn’t go well.

OP posts:
landris · 14/09/2024 22:31

XenoBitch · 14/09/2024 21:44

I cooked some chicken, and put it out on the counter. I left the room to check on the DC. Do you think I need to bin it?

It depends on whether or not you have a cat and whether or not it was present in the kitchen whilst you were temporarily absent.
😂

Crikeyalmighty · 14/09/2024 22:35

@Over40Overdating ha,ha- so true !!'

XenoBitch · 14/09/2024 22:38

Over40Overdating · 14/09/2024 22:31

@XenoBitch I actually suggested that to my parents once. It didn’t go well.

I can imagine that!
"Over40Overdating, there are starving kids in Africa. You are a spoilt brat if you don't eat it"
You - "well, send it to them then" 😆

XenoBitch · 14/09/2024 22:39

Deliiciousllydifffident · 14/09/2024 22:29

Pensioners just need to cut back on how many bottles of wine they drink, to cope with losing the winter fuel allowance.

Nah, they can use the wine as fuel.

MadridMadridMadrid · 14/09/2024 22:40

If you allow your 15-year-old DC to travel unaccompanied from Leeds to London by train, they will be lucky to make it as far as Doncaster without suffering a terrible fate at the hands of their depraved fellow passengers. The train will almost certainly be full of drunken football hooligans regardless of the date and time of travel. Your DC will be completely traumatised if the train is delayed by 20 minutes. If they make it to their destination alive, there is a high risk they will miss their stop even though the train terminates there.

BarbaraHoward · 14/09/2024 22:53

MadridMadridMadrid · 14/09/2024 22:40

If you allow your 15-year-old DC to travel unaccompanied from Leeds to London by train, they will be lucky to make it as far as Doncaster without suffering a terrible fate at the hands of their depraved fellow passengers. The train will almost certainly be full of drunken football hooligans regardless of the date and time of travel. Your DC will be completely traumatised if the train is delayed by 20 minutes. If they make it to their destination alive, there is a high risk they will miss their stop even though the train terminates there.

But if your childcare falls through and you need to leave your WFH desk to walk your six year old home from school five minutes away, you're mollycoddling and should just let them walk.

JohnTheRevelator · 14/09/2024 22:55

If you can't or don't drive,you are an absolute failure. Don't you know what you are missing out on? And you should be ashamed of yourself, constantly scrounging lifts from friends and family.

Offtheroof · 14/09/2024 22:56

If your seventy year old mil is nasty and selfish enough to not want to give up every spare hour of her retirement to provide free full time childcare for her precious gcs who live seventy miles away, which would involve her getting up at five in the morning five days a week, so she can be there to provide breakfast, dress them, get them ready for school and drive them there every morning, then she cleary is a lazy, selfish bitch who hates her grandchildren and you should immediately go no contact and block her from ever seeing them again. (Apart from the times when you need her to look after your house when you are on holiday - on those occasions she is allowed to have a key to your house so she can come in and look after your dog, but when you return from holiday, the key must be returned to you and no contact will be resumed.)

If you can't drive, then you are an inferior human being who does not even deserve to be regarded as a functional adult. What is wrong with you? Why are so lazy, immature and useless that you haven't even bothered your lazy, selfish arse to learn to drive? You are a burden on society, and if you dare to have the audacity to ask for a lift back from a place to somewhere the driver is going anyway, you are a cf who should be dumped at a remote bus stop at eleven o'clock at night in the freezing cold when there isn't another bus service for at least two hours to teach you a lesson.

If your dm is in your house and, heaven forbid, she does the dishes for you without your permission, or puts a fork in the wrong section of your cutlery drawer then you should go through her like a dose of salts! She is clearly being difficult and controlling. Monitor the situation for further red flags and be prepared to go no contact.

If your dh does something that you amusingly find irritating and share on mn, then it's pretty clear "You don't really like your husband, do you?"

If you are claiming benefits of any kind, for any reason, you are a lazy geedy bitch who is a drain on society. If you brag on mn that your are earning £100k plus in a job where you don't actually do any work, you are applauded for not telling your manager you contibute nothing to the company.

If your dh is out three nights a week sleeping on a female work 'colleague's "sofa" because she needs emotional support, while sharing clandestine whatsapp messages with her about how unhappy he is with his sex life, you are insecure, paranoid and controlling. All the cool wives are fine with their dhs being out seven nights a week with their "work wives". What's the problem?

If your dh dares to fall asleep at a time you deem inapropriate it is a serious red flag. He has obviously checked out of the marriage and you should get your ducks in a row and ltb.

persisted · 14/09/2024 22:58

AIBU to leave my 15 year old in charge of their 10 year old sibling for 1/2 hour while I pop to the shop?
They are not old enough to have such a massive responsibility. What will they do if someone knocks on the door or they want a sandwich?

Offtheroof · 14/09/2024 22:59

If you start a lighthearted thread on mn about any sudject, you must be thoroughly chastised and scolded by 1% of the midwits on mn who don't seem to understand the concept of "lighthearted".

StarDolphins · 14/09/2024 23:02

Over40Overdating · 14/09/2024 18:50

  • You walked your dog on a lead past a child? Why are dog people ruining public spaces everywhere?
  • Dogs in pubs? JAIL FOREVER

This!

A dog that walks near a child WILL eat it.

Everyone in the pub will be allergic to the dog.

Agii · 14/09/2024 23:24

CantConfessWontConfess · 14/09/2024 18:49

You use a toilet brush....just think of the germs!

Apparently a mobile device has more germs than a toilet brush. Yes, it's gross, but at least it cleans the toilet bowl 😀

Sexyshrek · 14/09/2024 23:27

Council estates are wonderful places full of kind-hearted people and strong communities. If you are offered a council house you must fall on your knees in gratitude and thank the council gods every day. If you are buying a home near a council estate you are not allowed to have doubts or apprehensions or you will be known as a snob and peasant hater forever more. It doesn't matter if your neighbour gets blind drunk at 9am and shits on your dc's trampoline, just be fucking grateful you have a home and shut the fuck up.

<said by mumsnetters that have never even set foot on a council estate and imagine it to be similar to an episode of Brassic>

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