MN rules for life - shame edition

[Over40Overdating]

There have been so many bonkers threads lately where OPs have been shamed for what most people in real life would considered normal that I think some MNetters live in an alternate universe.

Shaming people for relatively normal things is off the charts right now.
I’ve got a list of things I now look out for on threads to play rules bingo - please add your MN bingo rules for life: shame edition!

• if you drink alone or at home, you have a drinking problem

• drinking whilst being a parent? JAIL

• express an opinion or anger about violence against women and girls - you are a misandrist and a man hater cos NAMALT

• Got a sex life that is not vanilla but harms no one? You should have more respect for yourself, you harlot

• Like to eat food that isn’t green and in larger portions than matchbox size? You are ‘scoffing’ and ‘gorging’ on rubbish, piggy

• Got a twatty partner who does things to drive you mad? Have you looked at yourself to see why you are causing this?

• Need to go no contact with toxic family or parents? You only get one mother / father and should take any shit they throw at you because someone who has no experience of abuse or family dysfunction thinks you sound selfish and childish. And didn’t you know some people have dead parents and you are being SO disrespectful to them?

• If you have an overbearing or interfering MIL you need to keep your mouth shut because you might be a MIL one day and how would you feel if your DIL talks about you this way?

What have I missed?

And people "grab" a coffee. They don't buy or make one.

Although I don't think that's a MN thing.

Oh don't be silly. Lots of people love them, and if they're done safely there's no harm. My neighbours and I enjoy them, and they often ask DH to come and help set them up.

Don't think I've actually heard anyone say IRL that they dislike them!

If your child has tantrums or/and won't do as they are told, they are neurodiverse.
If your OH is a bit boring yapping on about his hobby, (can't say what it is because it's outing) he's autistic.

For some MNers, 'pop' (especially when used in conjunction with unrealistic time estimates) is a very handy woman-shaming tool, e.g.

'There's no excuse for not cooking from scratch every day OP, it doesn't take five minutes to pop a full roast dinner in the oven.'
'There's no need for screens OP, it wouldn't take five minutes to pop round the library for some improving books.'
'Don't be mean OP, it wouldn't take you five minutes to pop over the road and say hello to your nosey neighbour. She's probably stared out of the window at you all day because she's lonely/being abused/suffering from early onset dementia.'
'OP, I vote YABU because you should have known your DH was going to forget his mum's birthday. Wouldn't have taken you five minutes to write a card and pop it in the post.'
'YABU OP, it shouldn't matter that your DH came home in a foul mood, kicked the cat and stormed off to bed upstairs forgetting it's your birthday. He might have a headache, why not pop upstairs with a couple of Nurofen? It won't take five minutes to kiss and make up.'

(OK, I'm deliberately exaggerating, but I do think it's funny how men are never exhorted to 'pop' anywhere or anything... 🤔)

OP: My 21 yo step-daughter spat in my face, kicked me in the head and called me a cunt. AIBU to tell DH she can’t visit our home until she apologises?
MN: Were you the OW? Your poor DSD, it’s obvious you do not like her. It’s her home too, you can’t do that. Why did you get involved with a man who has children?

Any MIL who dares to ask if they can visit your new baby before it’s 10th birthday is overbearing, controlling and a narcissist.

A group of mums standing together and talking at the school gate are automatically bitches. They are excluding you if they do not invite you over to join them. It doesn’t matter if they don’t know you from Adam. The fact you have children at the same school means they must befriend you.

OP: My 21 yo step-daughter spat in my face, kicked me in the head and called me a cunt. AIBU to tell DH she can’t visit our home until she apologises?
MN: Were you the OW? Your poor DSD, it’s obvious you do not like her. It’s her home too, you can’t do that. Why did you get involved with a man who has children?

OMG totally this.

Spot on!

If you're a tenant (in 'rented acommodation'), you're failing at life and mustn't forget that it's not your house and the LL can come in to inspect it whenever they want to ensure you're worthy of it. Conversely, if you're a LL, you are profiteering scum who is personally responsible for the housing crisis and should sell your house to the next deserving young couple for 2p and a stick of chewing gum.

Let your child have a slice of shop-bought birthday cake or a McDonald’s (as a treat)?

YOU SHOULD BE A ROLE MODEL AND COOKING EVERYTHING FROM SCRATCH. NONE OF THIS UPF SHIT.

A teeny typo renders a thread incomprehensible.
Poster asks "I am thinking of buying my suitably aged child their first movbid phone but don't know which one to get. Any advice?"

Cue stream of posts in the vein of:
"what on earth's a movbid?"
" What are you talking about OP??"
"I don't understand your post OP? 🤷‍♂️"

And once OP explains it was meant to be a "mobile phone" cue a stream of posters asking why the OP would consider that until their child is at least 20!

And wouldn't a string and two paper cups be just fine??

‘If you are able to post on Mumsnet, then you can’t possibly be so ill that you need to go to A&E.’

Oh sweet baby jesus, the stepmum ones 🤦🏻‍♀️

You can't possibly call yourself a stepmum - you're not married to your "partner" - you've only been together for 15 years and been in their lives since they were 7 and 10.

What's that? You introduced the children after 6 MONTHS?? How dare you? They will be in therapy for the rest of their lives, and that's ALL YOUR FAULT.

No wonder the absolute cunt of an ex mother hates you. You were probably the OW. Slut.

I have had a bastard of a weekend at work, and this thread has been glorious. Keep it up, you sarcastic bitches 😁

You are having a moan about your 24 year old DD, who is living at home, earns 80k a year, won't do any chores, and you make all her meals, and wash and iron all her clothes. You think you are justified in asking her for board money. You will be told that 24 is still really, really young, you are a horrible parent for even suggesting they pay towards the household bills etc. And why did you even bother having children if you can't be bothered to look after them.

Seriously - you think it's ok to pollute the atmosphere and potentially set things you didn't mean to on fire? I can assure you that it's not an MN thing to dislike them.

Perfectly normal where I live. Maybe not so in the city. Though when I did live in the city, on the rare occasion woodsmoke was smelled, the usual reaction was that it was nice.

Each to their own! I can't get worked up about it. 😁

The usual reaction round here is to wonder which farmer's barn is on fire...

Or if your at the hospital with your child who's sleeping. How can you have time to post on MN .

Look on your husbands phone - JAIL

Be concerned about his developing relationship with an OW which he’s hiding from you - DEEPLY INSECURE

Look at his emails - BURNT AT THE STAKE or JAIL

Hire a private detective to check up on him - totally fine.

My husband has been spending hours on the phone messaging and talking to a female work colleague. Do I have anything to worry about?

Don't be so controlling! You're a walking red flag.

He should run for the hills!

Men and women can be friends OP.

You do realise that if he wanted to cheat he would!

Like to eat food that isn’t green and in larger portions than matchbox size? You are ‘scoffing’ and ‘gorging’ on rubbish, piggy
I've just remembered I have some coffee and walnut cake needing my attention...thanks OP.

Reading a thread where OP is overwhelmed looking after 2 DC under 4 and the responses are like MN bingo:

Just take them out every day for 2 hours to tire them out.

Don’t worry if it’s raining, put them in wet suits, go outside and jump in puddles and then snuggle up with hot chocolate (it’s always snuggle)

Have you had them checked for ADHD?

Lower your standards when it comes to cleaning/housework (fine in theory but realistically kids that age cause mayhem and you can’t just live in their mess)

I’m just waiting for the spa suggestion and I’ll have a full house.

Have to add another pet hate, ie a poster asks why OP can't do a certain (usually blindingly obvious) simple thing to solve a problem then ends with "no?"

It sounds affected and bloody condescending.

Haha! What about “it’s really not that hard, I don’t get all the fuss. I have 5 under 3 and it was the easiest days of my life.”

Oh that sounds so nice! Jealous.