I’ve been set up: Ex husband text my partner from a fake number

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I went on a hen do this weekend. I had to tell my ex husband to ensure he was ok to standby on Friday afternoon, in the unlikely event the school called if the children were unwell and needed collecting. (As I wasn’t going to be in the area as I was travelling to the hen do)

My current partner received a text from a random number Saturday morning (see the screenshot) to “alert him” that I had been unfaithful that night.

I came home today with my partner very upset and confused who showed me the message.

I spent the entire hendo with my girlfriends and didn’t even look or speak to another man.

I have been set up. And the only person it could be, is my ex.

Reasons I believe it to be my ex:

-The phone has no trace on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram etc which makes me think it’s a “throw away sim” he has bought for the purpose of sending this message.

-It does however link to Snapchat (with a username that suspiciously sounding user name- it’s the name of his dead dog).

-The phone is an android (ex only ever had android and hated apple)

-We called the number and it goes straight through to voicemail each time

-It’s Giffgaff. A network my ex used to use and encouraged me to use when we were together.

-The person hasn’t replied to his messages asking for more info.

Please help: is there anyway we can trace the numbers IP location or any other way I can prove it is my ex trying to set me up?

My partner believes me. But I still feel I want to give him some solid evidence.

Well, the partner replied in the screenshot above so that ship has sailed

I’ve had a mental ex in the past who would do something like this. As tempting as getting revenge is, it really is best to just ignore it.

That said I do like the idea of telling him you’re going on another girls trip to see if anymore messages get sent. Say you had such a great time you’re going back to the same place in a few months. I wouldn’t even tell your partner you’re doing this, just let your ex know the pretend date and see if this mystery man sends anymore messages.

At some point in the future, I’d comment along the lines of “DD/DS mentioned your old dog the other day in a random convo about X’s dog. Didn’t realise they still talk about him/her. Sorry if it’s brought up old memories of happier times in the past”

Why?!

All these people suggesting traps and plans and random conversations that OP is unlikely to ever have in ordinary conversation with an ex she doesn't have a good relationship with have obviously never dealt with this sort of person.

ANY reaction is a good reaction for them. Any reaction proves that they've gotten to you. Pointing anything out, trying to prove anything, innocently mentioning something it's all part of their game and they've won the minute you engage. In ANY way!

Don't do anything. Nothing. Stop checking up on him. Stop trying to prove anything. (Who are you proving it to?) Just stop engaging. The more oxygen you give this the more of a thrill you are giving him.

This… the use of apostrophes and commas seems very at odds with the spelling.. I would expect someone who actually spells like that to just type one long “sentence”.. Also agree with everyone who says just completely ignore and pretend you’ve neither seen nor heard anything… he’s looking for a reaction any reaction! Oh and he’s an arse of the highest order!!!

Send a message from DH's phone

"Nice try xxx (insert ex's name) but your childish and immature attempts to cause a rift in our relationship has failed. In point of fact it's had the opposite effect and we are now even closer. Clearly you are leading a sad and unhappy life and if you're that affected by losing xxx (insert your name) that you would stoop to such a level then I am seriously concerned about the state your mental health. Here is the number for the Samaritans if you need to talk to someone xxxx (insert number) I will be blocking this number from now on as I have no time for silly juvenile games"

Block.

Do not do this. Why stir up drama when that’s all he wants?

Just ignore

This happened to me a while ago. For some reason, the police were really helpful. They had managed to get the details from the network provider and then found out where it has been topped up. It has been topped up by card in a small supermarket and the staff in there upon mentioning his name said he was really creepy. I comes under the law of malicious communication. Not sure how good your local police are but ask to speak to the malicious communications unit so they can investigate. Nip this in the bud now.

Dear God, don't do this.

I would casually drop onto a conversation that one of your fellow hens twisted their ankle and that you spent the night in A&E with them waiting for an X-ray so you sent what’s app messages to your group of you dicking around with bed pans all night and giving your hens updates!

Watch your Exes face melt with shame afterwards!!!!! It will be hilarious 🤣

Make sure you also change recovery info and all your email passwords. Just changing your Google password won’t help if he has the information to reset it. Likewise your partner. It can be surprisingly easy to use social media and some basic info to get hold of lots of personal and financial information. For example make sure your real birthday is never on social media - when you ring your bank or credit card company what is the first thing they ask you? The fact that your ex has come up with a Snapchat username you will recognise is a big clue that he is likely to be getting info about you and your partner online. In a way he has done you a favour, because now you know both yourself and your partner need to be much more careful about your security and privacy online, and about how much personal information you share online because at least one person is misusing it. Your ex probably sees himself as a master hacker but you can shut that down very easily with more stringent security and privacy settings.
As for proving he sent the message it’s difficult, pretty much impossible for you unless a serious crime has been committed and you can get the police to investigate. Even if you can find and trace the IP address of the phone you still can’t prove he sent the text. He may not even still have the phone - if he watches too many action thrillers on Netflix he’s probably thrown it away by now. The only thing I can suggest is that if he’s used a familiar name for the Snapchat username might he have used a familiar password too? If he has a habit of using the same passwords you might get lucky and be able to access his Snapchat account info. But if you can’t guess it straightaway don’t get hung up on it. That way madness and the sending of nasty fake text messages lie. Hope you can put this behind you - the best revenge is, as they say, living well.

You could just want six months and add the snap chat from a random account.

I would not respond in anyway. It will drive him crazy if you don’t react at all. He is attention seeking.

Absolutely! If you totally ignore this as if it never happened, he won't know where to go from there. He won't get any satisfaction!

Personally would t give him the satisfaction. Shrug it off if there's trust I relationship there's no issue.

Excellent
Op, your partner needs to trust you. This is giving him a head's up for future stupid behaviour.

Yep!! 100%

If your partner believes you just leave it.

To answer your question (and not to tell you what to do) there is no way you can legally find out for certain that he is the one who 'set you up'. The only way you might trip him up is by following the suggestions of setting traps for him to fall into.

That's really helpful. I'm quoting you in case OP missed this

This. He wants power so don’t let him have any. Leave him wondering about your new strong relationship☺️

For example, going away on a romantic weekend with just your partner, but telling your ex you're on another girls weekend. Then when you're snuggled up with your partner somewhere lovely, you'll get a hilarious text from your (thank God!) ex, with some other yarn.

Plus, you get a nice holiday.

Never understood why people want to make trouble like that for their ex's, especially if children are involved. Say for instance you and your partner HAD broken up over it, then that's just a load more grief and upheaval for HIS OWN children? Just why??

But the partner replied, and the OP presumably rang the number to get the network from the voicemail. So that will show as a missed call. He knows it got a reaction.

I'd ignore. I'd also look for a new partner as your current one doesn't trust you from his reaction. Otherwise he would have ignored or said ha ha ha.

That’s a good idea, as if it’s not him the sender won’t know what you mean by the dog. If it is him he’ll know that you know 🙃

Perfect

You had a one night stand and now you're itching and you're terrified because the guy has messaged him.....