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I’ve been set up: Ex husband text my partner from a fake number

280 replies

W987654321 · 21/07/2024 16:33

I went on a hen do this weekend. I had to tell my ex husband to ensure he was ok to standby on Friday afternoon, in the unlikely event the school called if the children were unwell and needed collecting. (As I wasn’t going to be in the area as I was travelling to the hen do)

My current partner received a text from a random number Saturday morning (see the screenshot) to “alert him” that I had been unfaithful that night.

I came home today with my partner very upset and confused who showed me the message.

I spent the entire hendo with my girlfriends and didn’t even look or speak to another man.

I have been set up. And the only person it could be, is my ex.

Reasons I believe it to be my ex:

-The phone has no trace on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram etc which makes me think it’s a “throw away sim” he has bought for the purpose of sending this message.

-It does however link to Snapchat (with a username that suspiciously sounding user name- it’s the name of his dead dog).

-The phone is an android (ex only ever had android and hated apple)

-We called the number and it goes straight through to voicemail each time

-It’s Giffgaff. A network my ex used to use and encouraged me to use when we were together.

-The person hasn’t replied to his messages asking for more info.

Please help: is there anyway we can trace the numbers IP location or any other way I can prove it is my ex trying to set me up?

My partner believes me. But I still feel I want to give him some solid evidence.

I’ve been set up: Ex husband text my partner from a fake number
OP posts:
Acornsoup · 24/07/2024 12:58

I've just reread your second post:

Not at all. His grammar is fairly good. My partner and I discussed this. As he thought this made it seem more legitimate. But I wonder if this is a red herring my ex has done deliberately.

Now I think it's a text from current partner. The he thought line - feels like he's telling in himself. If it is him and it's a test I would get rid.

NavyTurtle · 24/07/2024 13:04

No response is the strongest response, it will drive him nuts not knowing the outcome. I did this to my sister after she wrote a vile letter to me.

user1490442269 · 26/07/2024 12:50

I wouldn't acknowledge it in any way and make sure when the ex sees and your new partner together, give off nothing but loving trusting vibes to the sad little man! Enjoying life and being content and loved is the ultimate revenge for any person who wants to do you wrong.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Ezkay · 27/07/2024 18:16

Can you contact Giff Gaff to report malicious contact? They'll know where the SIM was bought even if it was a cash transaction. If you're lucky there may be a card payment attached to the number.

What you do with the info is between you and your legal advisor.

Good luck

Pupinskipops · 27/07/2024 19:14

FumingTRex · 21/07/2024 16:58

I would just send your ex a message saying you mite be late for changeover on Sunday nite. It can only have been him.

Brilliant! 😂

CheekyRubyFox · 27/07/2024 19:21

It would work only if he hasn't thrown away the sim, as the OP predicted correctly, in my view.

Jochef · 27/07/2024 19:38

Don’t play games with this man. Who knows what he’s capable of.
Ignore it - don’t give him any power

He's waiting for a reaction, like feeding a fire.

Mayamae1285 · 27/07/2024 19:38

W987654321 · 21/07/2024 16:33

I went on a hen do this weekend. I had to tell my ex husband to ensure he was ok to standby on Friday afternoon, in the unlikely event the school called if the children were unwell and needed collecting. (As I wasn’t going to be in the area as I was travelling to the hen do)

My current partner received a text from a random number Saturday morning (see the screenshot) to “alert him” that I had been unfaithful that night.

I came home today with my partner very upset and confused who showed me the message.

I spent the entire hendo with my girlfriends and didn’t even look or speak to another man.

I have been set up. And the only person it could be, is my ex.

Reasons I believe it to be my ex:

-The phone has no trace on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram etc which makes me think it’s a “throw away sim” he has bought for the purpose of sending this message.

-It does however link to Snapchat (with a username that suspiciously sounding user name- it’s the name of his dead dog).

-The phone is an android (ex only ever had android and hated apple)

-We called the number and it goes straight through to voicemail each time

-It’s Giffgaff. A network my ex used to use and encouraged me to use when we were together.

-The person hasn’t replied to his messages asking for more info.

Please help: is there anyway we can trace the numbers IP location or any other way I can prove it is my ex trying to set me up?

My partner believes me. But I still feel I want to give him some solid evidence.

Set your ex back up with your current boyfriend… tell him again you are out the area with the girls ect same again… but you won’t be you’ll be with your boyfriend and see if it happens again x

Bunny19888 · 27/07/2024 19:39

I would grey rock the ex.

Could he have gotten the new BFs number from kids or internet? Is he self employed or employed through a company who could be tricked into giving it out? Does he speak to clients on mobile ever?

I would try and login to the Giff gaff online account. If it’s a burner it’s probably not well protected (password dead dog?) or maybe not even set up yet and you could set it up - might have the info you’re after on there.

Asyoulikeit123 · 27/07/2024 19:54

He sounds like a nutter, I had the same from a jealous ex (who I should never have gone near - as there was red flags!) as difficult as it is just talk it out with your partner, concentrate on keeping things ok from your own side and ignore the whole thing, he’s only looking for a reaction..do NOT give him one!

‘No audience - No show!’

Best of luck ❤️🙏

Mumto3L · 27/07/2024 20:38

Did you save it as Anom?

SarahLou122 · 27/07/2024 21:00

It obvious that this was a setup. Your partner believe you and thats what matters. I wouldn't waste your time on it. I know it must be frustrating though.

LostAngel84 · 27/07/2024 21:42

I know this might sound crazy, but just thinking outside of the box here!
could your current partner have sent the text and made it look like it was from your ex?
Too many questions such as: how your ex got current partner’s number? Would he be clever to change the way the text is written to fool you? Does your current partner know much about your ex, his dead dog’s name for example?
Sorry if I’m barking up the wrong tree, but il looking from a different angle.

LostAngel84 · 27/07/2024 21:43

I’ve literally just posted something along these lines!

Sunnyandsilly · 27/07/2024 21:48

LostAngel84 · 27/07/2024 21:42

I know this might sound crazy, but just thinking outside of the box here!
could your current partner have sent the text and made it look like it was from your ex?
Too many questions such as: how your ex got current partner’s number? Would he be clever to change the way the text is written to fool you? Does your current partner know much about your ex, his dead dog’s name for example?
Sorry if I’m barking up the wrong tree, but il looking from a different angle.

Um loads of folks have posted that.

Bloke58 · 27/07/2024 22:13

If you don't mind paying go to your local computer/phone shop to see if they know how to narrow it down.
It's bloody obvious it's your ex, but did anyone else have access to your phone that night - even when you were asleep? If not you don't need Coleen Rooney to help.
Just a suggestion, maybe get someone else on your emergency school list that you trust. Your partner? That means you can reduce contact with your ex to a minimum.

JFDIYOLO · 28/07/2024 00:33

Don't contact your ex about it. Don't mention it at all. No reaction. Same for BF. Make him think it wasn't received

Tell him you are on a girl's night out again next week.

Go out with boyfriend instead.

See if BF gets another text.

Whether any more texts are received or not, report to police as a malicious communication intended to cause distress.

Point out use of his dog's name as his user name as an identifying feature.

Lfcloyal · 28/07/2024 01:59

W987654321 · 21/07/2024 16:33

I went on a hen do this weekend. I had to tell my ex husband to ensure he was ok to standby on Friday afternoon, in the unlikely event the school called if the children were unwell and needed collecting. (As I wasn’t going to be in the area as I was travelling to the hen do)

My current partner received a text from a random number Saturday morning (see the screenshot) to “alert him” that I had been unfaithful that night.

I came home today with my partner very upset and confused who showed me the message.

I spent the entire hendo with my girlfriends and didn’t even look or speak to another man.

I have been set up. And the only person it could be, is my ex.

Reasons I believe it to be my ex:

-The phone has no trace on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram etc which makes me think it’s a “throw away sim” he has bought for the purpose of sending this message.

-It does however link to Snapchat (with a username that suspiciously sounding user name- it’s the name of his dead dog).

-The phone is an android (ex only ever had android and hated apple)

-We called the number and it goes straight through to voicemail each time

-It’s Giffgaff. A network my ex used to use and encouraged me to use when we were together.

-The person hasn’t replied to his messages asking for more info.

Please help: is there anyway we can trace the numbers IP location or any other way I can prove it is my ex trying to set me up?

My partner believes me. But I still feel I want to give him some solid evidence.

Wow they're is some weirdos about gives us normal blokes a bad name 😄

Anca27 · 28/07/2024 07:01

I agree with “he’s looking for a reaction. Don’t let him”. He’s hasn’t grown up yet.

your partner should believe you. Relationships are based on trust.

please don’t respond or spend your energy into proving that you’re right and he’s wrong. It’s not worth it. Let it go.

FloozyMcGee · 28/07/2024 07:07

Whoever it is is clearly trying to get a rise out of you. They want you to be (stay?) emotionally involved with them. If your current partner is letting it go, so should you. I urge you to do nothing. If it keeps making you angry, you are still emotionally attached to your ex, and need to do some work on that.

jannier · 28/07/2024 07:21

If he asks about your weekend say brilliant but the best bit was the child free house when I got back. Thanks.

RupertsDad · 28/07/2024 08:36

That's nothing... you said that your boyfriend believes you and so does everyone else here so stop worrying.
If you had been off with a stranger, they wouldn't have your boyfriend's phone number and little chance of being a nob anyway...
Just get on with your life together and be warned... exes are exes for good reason!

Redhil · 28/07/2024 10:01

Op I think the main give a way is 'pulled this number off Sam's phone'... I'm assuming Sam is short for your full name ... to me that's someone that's familiar with calling you Sam. And how did your so called lover manage to get in your phone and pull up your partners number and want to send them a message. And know it was your partner unless your contacts say "this is my partner " so to speak. If your ex has the number for your partner of course and this isn't the most random act ever!

Popcicle123 · 28/07/2024 10:24

I would call his bluff by saying casually, oh the hen ended up being ill when we arrived Friday night, so I called my bf and he travelled to spend the weekend with me instead. No point in wasting a child free weekend. Smile sweetly and watch his reaction

fatimaazimshahid · 28/07/2024 10:31

Hi

I went through divorce with super toxic individuals. Have been through their huge number of set ups in the process.
Advice #1
Don't say anything to your ex. He will see through any bluffs, giving him more information, trying to get him to do anything else. This is his one off and he knows that less is more in this situation. He won't do anything to help you prove that it was him.
Advice #2
Your present relationship partner must feel bad for you in this situation. What your ex did, called post-relationship abuse. He should help you pay for a private investigator/ private detective to investigate this. At the end of the day, if PI doesn't find any evidence he could approach your ex in his recreational activity (club, pub, etc), make friends with him and see if he admits it to PI. It would also help in Court if your ex starts defaming you in court during custody battles because this is an actual crime, called defamation. If he did it, he wanted to create hostile environment in your home where, I suppose, children reside or even visit. Anything like this at home creates trauma to children just for the sake of him upping his chances in Court.
Advice #3.
Why your new partner didn't reassure you enough that he trusts you? I am a Musim, I don't attend parties with alcohol. I don't advice it to anyone anyway. On the other hand, tell your partner to support you more. Exes kill and torture their victims at the end of toxic relationships, this is not that much of what Exes normally do to punish their victims for "daring to get into another relationship AFTER THEM".
Advice #4
Watch your children. At the end of the day they are the biggest victims of all of that. I suppose, they still meet your ex and they would be manipulated by him, abused by him in order to punish you for "life" after him.
Advice #5
Cheer up. You don't have to prove anything to your new partner if he has trust issues. Do the investigation for the sake of making a legal case against your ex, who is trying to create unstable, hostile environment and emotional traumas to your children in your family. You could take PI report to solicitors, address it in Court in order to reduce your Exes contact with children. (It looks like the hidden message in it: your ex intentionally hurt and abused you. On the top, suggesting that you are on the level of his dead dog to him or b.... regardless the gender of his dead dog). He must be a coward, if he did it.
Focus on children and custody situation. If your new spouse is for real with you, you will stay together always because love conquers all. If its just another toxic relationship, which often happens, your ex will use it in Court against you to suggest that children must remain with him due to your unstable personal life. If your ex abuses you - he is abusing his kids too, only you still don't know the extend of it yet. It's better to stay off any new relationships during custody battles. Your ex has already waged a war against you and it will last years. If your new spouse is not up to years of fighting off the evil ways of your ex, let him go sooner rather than later. If you don't, your ex will ruin your kid's lives forever but getting more control after split up.
Best wishes

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