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I’ve been set up: Ex husband text my partner from a fake number

280 replies

W987654321 · 21/07/2024 16:33

I went on a hen do this weekend. I had to tell my ex husband to ensure he was ok to standby on Friday afternoon, in the unlikely event the school called if the children were unwell and needed collecting. (As I wasn’t going to be in the area as I was travelling to the hen do)

My current partner received a text from a random number Saturday morning (see the screenshot) to “alert him” that I had been unfaithful that night.

I came home today with my partner very upset and confused who showed me the message.

I spent the entire hendo with my girlfriends and didn’t even look or speak to another man.

I have been set up. And the only person it could be, is my ex.

Reasons I believe it to be my ex:

-The phone has no trace on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram etc which makes me think it’s a “throw away sim” he has bought for the purpose of sending this message.

-It does however link to Snapchat (with a username that suspiciously sounding user name- it’s the name of his dead dog).

-The phone is an android (ex only ever had android and hated apple)

-We called the number and it goes straight through to voicemail each time

-It’s Giffgaff. A network my ex used to use and encouraged me to use when we were together.

-The person hasn’t replied to his messages asking for more info.

Please help: is there anyway we can trace the numbers IP location or any other way I can prove it is my ex trying to set me up?

My partner believes me. But I still feel I want to give him some solid evidence.

I’ve been set up: Ex husband text my partner from a fake number
OP posts:
silentassassin · 21/07/2024 17:26

Do absolutely nothing. Dont mention it, appear happy and normal.

He WANTS a reaction from you- its so screamingly obvious and any reaction you give him be it anger, sadness, upset or even defiance will be like delicious fuel to him.

If you ignore it completely and act as if it didnt happen it will show him he cannot affect you. But keep it as evidence in case further incidents occur.

GuinnessBird · 21/07/2024 17:26

Don't react, he wants a reaction.

AlpiniPraline · 21/07/2024 17:28

Sparrowball · 21/07/2024 17:11

He's looking for drama and a reaction, you'll annoy him more by pretending it didn't happen. What a sad bastard.

Good idea

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

needsomewarmsunshine · 21/07/2024 17:29

I would totally ignore the message and move on with dp. Ex wants a response, don't give him one.

Cadela · 21/07/2024 17:29

silentassassin · 21/07/2024 17:26

Do absolutely nothing. Dont mention it, appear happy and normal.

He WANTS a reaction from you- its so screamingly obvious and any reaction you give him be it anger, sadness, upset or even defiance will be like delicious fuel to him.

If you ignore it completely and act as if it didnt happen it will show him he cannot affect you. But keep it as evidence in case further incidents occur.

This a million times. Dont play games or give the idiot any satisfaction.

The best thing you can do is completely ignore it.

msbevvy · 21/07/2024 17:30

Don't react at all. In a few weeks time pretend to him that you are off for another girls weekend. Maybe he will try again then you and your partner will know for sure that it was him.

saffronflower · 21/07/2024 17:34

Do nothing- he is gagging for you to react to it.

If the stupid twat wants to keep spending his money on burner phones to play stupid games let him waste his money.

Dont play games with stupid people. Ignore them and let him continue to waste his money.

NotStayingIn · 21/07/2024 17:35

Personally I would go with the idea suggested of putting the misspelled mite or nite into a regular message.

I think he’s revelling in the fact that this may have caused you issues, that you may not know who it was who send it. He’ll be loving this.

Giving him that hint that you know it was him will blow that bubble. His dumb plan did not work. But you’re doing it in such a subtle way, he can’t risk asking you without outing himself.

Orangeblossom84 · 21/07/2024 17:37

I agree with other posters do nothing at all, don’t even give any hint your partner has received the text. That will annoy your ex more than anything as his nose will get the better of him.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 21/07/2024 17:37

How would some random, know your boyfriend's full name? The scenario doesn't make sense, for arguments sake say you hooked up with Danny, Danny then catches wind you might not be single, goes through your phone and selects John Smith (no indication this is your boyfriend) and sends him a message saying you've cheated. How would Danny know John Smith is the person he needed to contact?

user98265374687 · 21/07/2024 17:37

What @silentassassin said…anything else will just fuel the fire. Don’t give the prat the satisfaction.

biscuitandcake · 21/07/2024 17:40

Grey rock for now. He has done it to get a reaction. If he doesn't get any sort of response whatsoever he will be wondering whether your partner actually asked you about it, whether you discussed it together and dismissed it as a weirdo etc. That's likely to be less satisfying for him than if he knew for certain that your partner told you and you know it was him.
At some point in the future, you could try laying a false trail - telling your ex that you are going away by yourself etc when really you and your partner are having a night in or going away together. If he does take the bait and repeat his actions, then you will have the closure of knowing for certain it was him. And it would be funny. Or swap it over and let him think partner's going away for a few days.
But that's only if you can be bothered.

bossybloss · 21/07/2024 17:40

CornishTeaTime · 21/07/2024 17:24

@W987654321 perhaps you cluld say something like...

Could you be on standby again next Friday...Im going away early again met a few new friends on hen do and am meeting up with the...thing is dont want bf knowing Im going after school drop off
Thanks appreciate it

Ahhh a Colleen Rooney type set up.. good idea !

Ariela · 21/07/2024 17:40

Do the kids have a phone with bf number?

I agree with @msbevvy 'Arrange' another girls weekend to coincide with another weekend he has the kids and ONLY tell your ex, not a soul otherwise, not even your kids.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 21/07/2024 17:40

I wouldn't do anything. Nothing at all. Your partner believes you. It'll annoy your ex more if you completely ignore it and give him no inclination that you even know this happened.

He wants a reaction. It's sport for him.

Ignore.

CormorantStrikesBack · 21/07/2024 17:41

I would wait a few weeks, u til a weekend when you know you’ll be with your dp all weekend and tell your ex you’re away for the night/weekend again. See if your dp gets another message.

Hankunamatata · 21/07/2024 17:42

Grey rock

Could he pulled bf number off kids devices?

bossybloss · 21/07/2024 17:42

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 21/07/2024 17:37

How would some random, know your boyfriend's full name? The scenario doesn't make sense, for arguments sake say you hooked up with Danny, Danny then catches wind you might not be single, goes through your phone and selects John Smith (no indication this is your boyfriend) and sends him a message saying you've cheated. How would Danny know John Smith is the person he needed to contact?

And that is exactly why it was probably the ex!

Allthehorsesintheworld · 21/07/2024 17:43

CornishTeaTime · 21/07/2024 17:24

@W987654321 perhaps you cluld say something like...

Could you be on standby again next Friday...Im going away early again met a few new friends on hen do and am meeting up with the...thing is dont want bf knowing Im going after school drop off
Thanks appreciate it

I wouldn’t feed him but if you’re going to do anything do similar to this . Maybe leave it a fortnight then just “I’ll be away when you have kids this w/end just in case of sickness. Met some new friends on hen night and we’re meeting up. TIA” You are at home with b/f of course.

What a sad bastard your ex is. And yes the dead dog name is a give away.

Grazianoscubanheel · 21/07/2024 17:44

He's already been fed. Was interesting to see the current BF's response.
And he cant pull the same trick again unless he sorts out another sim.

Beth216 · 21/07/2024 17:45

'My partner got a silly message from an anonymous caller that linked to a snapchat with your dead dog as a user name. Can you tell me what you think you're playing at please?'

Don't play any silly games back, just let him know that you know it's him and what does he think he's doing? It's too late to pretend there's no impact after what your partner replied so I'd address him head on and make sure he knows you're not stupid.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 21/07/2024 17:48

Don't play games. Don't try be clever. Don't try catch him out. He doesn't care. It's a game for him, and he can't keep playing if you leave the game.

Sandunesandseashells · 21/07/2024 17:49

W987654321 · 21/07/2024 17:23

This is one of the mysteries we don’t know and annoying me.
Ex used to enter my google mail etc. I did change all my passwords but I will change them again.

If he was always signed in to your account, changing your password wouldn’t lock him out. You need to ensure you ‘sign out of all devices’ if you see that option. Then when he finds he’s locked out and tries to sign in again he won’t be able to because you changed the password.

LaughingCat · 21/07/2024 17:50

Christ, he must be exhausting.

You’re in a better place now: he’s still stuck in the past, trying to control you and screw up your life.

Forget about him, ignore this - your new partner believes you and therefore doesn’t need ‘proof’ (guessing your ex would have immediately jumped to the opposite conclusion and made you jump through hoops to prove you hadn’t).

You’re not in that relationship anymore and you don’t have to play by those rules. Just ignore and let that drive your ex nuts while getting on and enjoying your current trusting and respectful relationship.

DancingLions · 21/07/2024 17:51

While I can see why pp's are suggesting to ignore it, my concern would be that he would then just ramp it up and do something else. If he wants a reaction that bad he's not going to just give up and say "oh well that didn't work, I won't do it again".

For that reason I'd probably go with the fake wkend away idea so you know for sure. I'd then read him the riot act and tell him that anything else like that and I'd be going to the police to report him for harassment.