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I’ve been set up: Ex husband text my partner from a fake number

280 replies

W987654321 · 21/07/2024 16:33

I went on a hen do this weekend. I had to tell my ex husband to ensure he was ok to standby on Friday afternoon, in the unlikely event the school called if the children were unwell and needed collecting. (As I wasn’t going to be in the area as I was travelling to the hen do)

My current partner received a text from a random number Saturday morning (see the screenshot) to “alert him” that I had been unfaithful that night.

I came home today with my partner very upset and confused who showed me the message.

I spent the entire hendo with my girlfriends and didn’t even look or speak to another man.

I have been set up. And the only person it could be, is my ex.

Reasons I believe it to be my ex:

-The phone has no trace on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram etc which makes me think it’s a “throw away sim” he has bought for the purpose of sending this message.

-It does however link to Snapchat (with a username that suspiciously sounding user name- it’s the name of his dead dog).

-The phone is an android (ex only ever had android and hated apple)

-We called the number and it goes straight through to voicemail each time

-It’s Giffgaff. A network my ex used to use and encouraged me to use when we were together.

-The person hasn’t replied to his messages asking for more info.

Please help: is there anyway we can trace the numbers IP location or any other way I can prove it is my ex trying to set me up?

My partner believes me. But I still feel I want to give him some solid evidence.

I’ve been set up: Ex husband text my partner from a fake number
OP posts:
Nanaof1 · 21/07/2024 18:35

Hopefully, your DC have no clue that your DP got a text and brought it up to you. If they have no idea, make sure they don't find out anything.

Then wait to see if ex brings up that he, himself, "got a strange text and wanted to let you know". See if gray rocking him makes him go all in.

Other than that possibility, I would ignore everything about it and not let on to anyone that your DP got it or brought it up to you.

Sometimes, the best revenge is silence.

Hatty65 · 21/07/2024 18:35

I'd get partner to now text back to Anon, 'What a silly little man you are! I've reported this to the police for harassment, now that we are both aware exactly who this is'.

Let ex shit himself.

Choochoo21 · 21/07/2024 18:37

Michigan5 · 21/07/2024 18:33

The more I read the boyfriends response, the more convinced I am that this is the case. It’s all so insecure.

my husband wouldn’t have responded at all. He’d just have asked me about it.

Edited

A similar thing happened to me.

He didn’t go as far as to text himself but he said someone had told him I had done something.

It was his twisted plan to see if I would admit to being unfaithful - even though I didn’t do anything wrong.

I hadn’t thought about that in this scenario.

OP do you go out very often?
Does your DP ever worry you’ll cheat on him?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

MouseMama · 21/07/2024 18:38

Is your partner’s number on any school databases for emergencies that your partner has access to? Or your children’s devices? Or any shared friends that might have given it to him if he said he couldn’t get hold of you?

If he used to log into your Google account is there anyway he logs into your WhatsApp account?

sadabouti · 21/07/2024 18:38

Get DP to send a message back saying this:

I've discussed it with (x). She says you were crap in bed, with a very small cock. It's smaller even than her ex's. And his was as small and ineffectual as can be, a bit like these messages.

Then block.

user1984778379202 · 21/07/2024 18:40

Michigan5 · 21/07/2024 18:33

The more I read the boyfriends response, the more convinced I am that this is the case. It’s all so insecure.

my husband wouldn’t have responded at all. He’d just have asked me about it.

Edited

This is such a good point!

I would bluff to your partner that you're going to report it to the police for being a malicious communication so they can trace the IP address. Then see if he caves.

redskydarknight · 21/07/2024 18:41

I actually think that the ex is unlikely as the culprit (not least because of not knowing the phone number).

I'd be more inclined to suspect your partner fishing to see if you were up to anything. Or one of the other hens who fancies him and is trying to stir up trouble.

Finallyhappyat58 · 21/07/2024 18:44

He wants a reaction please don't give him one .

Tlittle · 21/07/2024 18:46

I'm sorry but I think it's your partner.

MichaelAndEagle · 21/07/2024 18:46

Choochoo21 · 21/07/2024 18:37

A similar thing happened to me.

He didn’t go as far as to text himself but he said someone had told him I had done something.

It was his twisted plan to see if I would admit to being unfaithful - even though I didn’t do anything wrong.

I hadn’t thought about that in this scenario.

OP do you go out very often?
Does your DP ever worry you’ll cheat on him?

I've experienced this to. They do it so you'll either confess to something, or tie yourself in knots to prove yourself (usually agreeing to give up some freedom as a result).

Could it be your current partner?
I don't know why he would bother saving the contact as you say that is why it is called anom.

TeaGinandFags · 21/07/2024 18:46

If the ex is batshit enough to do this, he may well have hacked your accounts. Get new accounts and get your devices checked. And check your cars for trackers. Better safe than sorry.

The text counts as a malicious communication and as such is criminal. Talk to the police and get it logged. They may not have enough to proceed but will deffo be able to advise. Follow that advice.

Either he'll get bored if you ignore him or he'll up his game, which is why you make a report. More than one report and the size 12s will be knocking on his door.

Do a Wagatha Christie and carefully control what you say and to whom you say it. You'll have your answer soon enough.

supercatlady · 21/07/2024 18:46

I think it’s more likely to be one of the hens - maybe as a “joke” or because someone was pissed off. Did you leave your phone unattended at any point?

Nanaof1 · 21/07/2024 18:47

Since when you were tracing it back, you got to a place where the owner was the name of your exes dead dog, I am not too sure your BF would know that tidbit of information. My inclination is that it is your ex and silence is golden and the best response.

I will say, though, your current BF is VERY insecure. His response bordered on whiny and desperate.
To me, that is a red flag waving in the breeze. Just be aware, please.

tarheelbaby · 21/07/2024 18:48

Every part of this seems very childish.
The sad part here for me is that your current DP is upset by this text. Why would he not trust you to go out with your friends.
If I received similar, I would judge it by my trust in my DP. I might jokingly show it and ask him but if I trusted him, I would not put any credence in it.
If your current DP trusts you, he should be content to laugh about this silly message and delete it. If he's even faintly worried, he could consult your friends from the hen do.
As for your ex, I'd just leave him to stew. If he did send the message, you're well shot of him - clearly a useless stirrer.
Also, there are people who text random numbers and send all kinds of rubbish so it might not have been your ex.

Rachel1509 · 21/07/2024 18:48

Set your ex up. Tell him that your visiting an old friend but not to mention it to new partner - see if another text appear?

Grazianoscubanheel · 21/07/2024 18:48

It wont be one of the hens. Its clearly on a burner phone/account on a PAYG sim made to be as untraceable as poss, apart from the Snapchat handle (I thought Snapchat was mainly for kids??). Its either the ex or current partner or someone else out to sabotage things. Or maybe its all make believe.

letthem · 21/07/2024 18:51

So what I'd do is nothing.....

Then ask your ex the same again to be on standby as you are going out for a couple with friends, leave it at that.

You and your partner will know you're not going out and you'll both be aware that the only person who thinks you're going out is your ex.

Then if your partner does receive another message there's the solid proof it's the ex...

TheHuntSyndicate · 21/07/2024 18:56

I would feel very uneasy at the partners replies and I'm leaning towards it being him who sent the message to himself.

He sounds very insecure.

Lwrenn · 21/07/2024 18:57

Michigan5 · 21/07/2024 18:19

This happened to me once. I assumed it was my ex. It wasn’t. It was my then-boyfriend. Sent it to himself. Deeply insecure. Wanted a conversation/reassurance about how insecure he was when I was on a night out and didn’t know how to handle it like a grown up.

I had something very similar as a teenager. Because social media was in its infancy and he didn't have the maturity to throw me off by spelling something incorrectly I knew it was that fucker instantly as he spelt one very specific word incorrectly, but how he sounded it out in his accent so I knew it was him.

Fucking knob he was 😂

sentfrmmyiphone · 21/07/2024 18:59

if it was an unknown number... surely it would show the number? +44123456789?? and not as anom?

maybe i am old? or stupid? or probably both but for it to say anom.. thats a name that has been associated too the number it came from?

EdithBond · 21/07/2024 18:59

TheHuntSyndicate · 21/07/2024 18:56

I would feel very uneasy at the partners replies and I'm leaning towards it being him who sent the message to himself.

He sounds very insecure.

I agree. I’d be considering my current partner too. But obvs don’t say anything, because if it is your ex, dp will quite rightly be outraged. But do keep it in consideration.

Planesmistakenforstars · 21/07/2024 19:03

From your point of view, you should just ignore him. But from your boyfriend's point of view this kind of thing is insidious. If you had received a text about your boyfriend, even if you really trusted him, it might still niggle away at you. If you want to set out with the sole purpose of putting his mind at rest, I would probably (with your boyfriend's knowledge) pretend to your ex that you are going away on another girl's night out and ask him to be on standby again. The stay in with your boyfriend and wait to see if he gets another text off this number. He might not text again, but you don't have anything to lose, and if he does text with another cryptic warning, then you and your partner will have the answer.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/07/2024 19:03

Do your kids have his number?

If you live in "that" kind of place, just asking around can do it. Some people really are stupid enough to pass on someones number without considering the ramifications.

misssunshine4040 · 21/07/2024 19:06

sentfrmmyiphone · 21/07/2024 18:59

if it was an unknown number... surely it would show the number? +44123456789?? and not as anom?

maybe i am old? or stupid? or probably both but for it to say anom.. thats a name that has been associated too the number it came from?

They have the number but it doesn't ring.
Also it's linked to a snap chat account named after the ex's dead dog.

They save the number under Amon

MorningHood · 21/07/2024 19:07

Are you 100% sure your current partner is not trying to double bluff you
into admitting something?