I’ve been set up: Ex husband text my partner from a fake number

[W987654321]

I went on a hen do this weekend. I had to tell my ex husband to ensure he was ok to standby on Friday afternoon, in the unlikely event the school called if the children were unwell and needed collecting. (As I wasn’t going to be in the area as I was travelling to the hen do)

My current partner received a text from a random number Saturday morning (see the screenshot) to “alert him” that I had been unfaithful that night.

I came home today with my partner very upset and confused who showed me the message.

I spent the entire hendo with my girlfriends and didn’t even look or speak to another man.

I have been set up. And the only person it could be, is my ex.

Reasons I believe it to be my ex:

-The phone has no trace on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram etc which makes me think it’s a “throw away sim” he has bought for the purpose of sending this message.

-It does however link to Snapchat (with a username that suspiciously sounding user name- it’s the name of his dead dog).

-The phone is an android (ex only ever had android and hated apple)

-We called the number and it goes straight through to voicemail each time

-It’s Giffgaff. A network my ex used to use and encouraged me to use when we were together.

-The person hasn’t replied to his messages asking for more info.

Please help: is there anyway we can trace the numbers IP location or any other way I can prove it is my ex trying to set me up?

My partner believes me. But I still feel I want to give him some solid evidence.

This is daft but definitely don't say please 🙄

Your bf was a fool to respond in the first place. Just ignore and move on with your lives. Your ex only has the power that you choose to give him.

@Namechange10101010 that's brilliant!

Contact The Police

Harassment and malicious communication

I would ask the police for advice OP. It's a form of harassment.

Get your partner to reply and say you broke up but you say absolutely nothing to the ex. He won't be able to not ask you at some point

This happened to me once. I assumed it was my ex. It wasn’t. It was my then-boyfriend. Sent it to himself. Deeply insecure. Wanted a conversation/reassurance about how insecure he was when I was on a night out and didn’t know how to handle it like a grown up.

Just ignore him. That will wind him up so much more. Don't even give him any more headspace then his defeated. I definitely wouldn't be getting into his games. Rise above it

How would some random, know your boyfriend's full name? The scenario doesn't make sense, for arguments sake say you hooked up with Danny, Danny then catches wind you might not be single, goes through your phone and selects John Smith (no indication this is your boyfriend) and sends him a message saying you've cheated. How would Danny know John Smith is the person he needed to contact?

I don't think that stands up tbh.

If anyone had access to my unlocked phone, all it would take would be a 30 second look at my WhatsApp for it to be immediately apparent which man was my significant other.

Last message to John:
'Ah great, thanks John, really appreciate it. See you Monday :)'.

Last message to Steve:
'Hia, how's Jenny and the baby doing, any better? x'

Last message to Mike:
'Oh really, £200? Shit that's annoying. Could have been worse though really! What did you fancy tonight then, the kids have eaten at Mams so just me and you. Did somebody say...?'

** these are my actual last messages on my WhatsApp to three men 😂

He's utterly shot himself in the foot. How would one night stand know your partners name to be able to specifically message them in the first place? Yet also claims "sorry, didn't know"... so they're claiming they didn't know you had a partner but simultaneously knew their name to take the number from your phone and contact them? It's actually ludicrous he thinks he could get away with that.

Why does your ex have your boyfriends number?

Are you sure he even does?

Crossed my mind as well!

In total agreement about grey rock. I have an ex like this and I ignore 90% of his messages or awful things that he says / accuses me of and what I take from this is how much it Will absolutely annoy him. These people are looking for a reaction of any kind. Whether it's anger, sadness, confusion, questioning. That's why they do this in the first place. As others have said.. it will drive him mad not knowing if it ever reached your partner, whether or not he believed it, if it split you up etc. grey rock is your friend. It's a narcissist's nightmare!

Glad your partner believes you

Oh this is the sort of situation my sister found herself in with her ex who is my nieces dad, at the start she couldn't hold it in and absolutely exploded with him and he bloody loved that and it only made my sister worse and more angry and defeated and just at the end of her tether that he always seemed to come out on top. She did turn it around in the end with a lot of help from us her siblings and we told her to text us instead with what she wanted to say to him. It gave her some release and by the end of it she felt lighter because we would slag him off and end up taking the piss out of him (we said some awful things about him between us because he really was a prize winning cunt) anyway it got to the point where my sister would look forward to him doing something else to wind her up because she realised he wanted a reaction and she just did not give it to him and honestly it was so satisfying to all of us that he was trying so hard to get a reaction but got nothing lol don't acknowledge this at all to your ex and leave him wondering what the fuck is going on haha what a prick

He saw a text pop up from the boyfriend on her phone?

It would be better to just create new email addresses.
Because it can be set up that a change of password is emailed to another email address. So you change your password, its emailed to ex.

Or you can hunt around trying to find where your new password is emailed to. But that can take way longer than just setting up new. And make some totally random new password that cannot be guessed. Dont use what3words or reuse old passwords, nothing linked to you, not your childhood pet full name, not a birthdate connected, use a password generator.

FWIW I would grey rock. Dont give ex anything, pretend the message never got through. Let him forever wonder.

Call the number and see if anyone answers.

If he's hacked you before then I would look at whether he has installed key logger or other spyware on your phone or via a previously shared tablet/laptop.

If he's computer savvy he could be sat watching all sorts of things on line. He could be accessing via your home wifi.

I would consider moving onto a Co-parenting app then getting a new number and email account that he doesn't even know about.

What if your partner had simply ignored the message and never said anything to him because he knows it's some idiot being a trouble maker?

That's how I would treat the matter that you have no idea about anyone messaging your partner.

He will be seething wanting to know and will slip up and ask pointed questions about you and your partner!

Then you play dumb if he tells you what he did and say, "OH Timothy, what a silly thing to do! My partner loves and trusts me and wouldn't be bothered about silly messages like that.

What I will say though is your partner handled it badly by appearing insecure in his messages.

Never reply to this kind of thing and get caught up in it as it now looks like your partner was not 100% sure about you when he got that message.

How come he knows your partner's number @W987654321?

Sorry, just saw you answered that earlier.

Are you SURE it's your ex? Could it have been one of the hens trying to stir up trouble? Are they all your friends?

The more I read the boyfriends response, the more convinced I am that this is the case. It’s all so insecure.

my husband wouldn’t have responded at all. He’d just have asked me about it.

Good idea. Could you and your partner even use it as an excuse for a romantic night away in an hotel? Don’t lie but give impression it’s a friends weekend (e.g. “should be fun”, “we’ve arranged to meet up for drinks at 5pm”, “looking forward to catching up with them”). If it happens again, you’ll know it’s him, your partner will deffo know it’s fake and you’ll hopefully be even closer having treated yourselves.

Worth considering a bit if it could be anyone other than your ex. Someone who’s on their side and doesn’t think it’s right you should be happy with someone else? Someone on your partner’s side? An ex of theirs? Even them? (no doubt it’s unlikely but you never know)

I would literally do nothing.

Don’t even respond to the message.

If he texts again then I’d get DP to reply “nice try mate. If you’re going to play childish games then I suggest you delete my number as that’s not what you were given it for”.

If it’s a burner number then it’s unlikely you’ll get any proof and so I’d try not to let it get to you.

If he wants to cause issues then he may step up his game and do something that is easier to prove.

Really nasty and spiteful but I don't think you should jump to conclusions as to who is responsible. Just ignore.