AIBU husband w*nking

[FarmerJojo81]

What are people's views on this? I know my husband does it and he says he needs to orgasm daily so if we don't have sex for a few days then I understand he gets frustrated. I turn a blind eye but know it goes on discretely - fine. For context we have had issues with our sex live since DC was born but have been trying to get back on track and this week have been having regular sex. Today I walked into the bedroom and he was having a wank whilst watching something on his phone. I was annoyed as it was morning and I was in the kitchen getting child's breakfast. I came looking for husband to see where he was. Child could have easily walked in. I was livid.

He is now annoyed with me as I "shamed" him and overreacted. I have apologised for storming out but not for being angry and said I don't take responsibility for his actions. He's saying it's all about how I make him feel and connected to our sex life problems.

No one - male or female - 'needs' to wank every day. They just don't, so tell him to stop with that bullshit, for a start.

I know my partner does, however when/where/how often he does - I don't know, don't want to know. I don't want to know what he watches when he's doing it, either. I don't need to know the gory details and if he tried to telling me I'd tell him to shut the fuck up. Grim.

Openly wanking when/where one of your children could just walk in and see you - even fucking grimmer. Dirty bastard.

How much money does he make is it worth staying?

We Al have the right to have a private sexual relationship with ourselves, I’d be repulsed if a man told me not to wank. It’s a separate issue from your sex life. Doing it when kids could walk in is unacceptable though

Exactly this

@ModernDayHell so you think it’s ok for him to take his time masturbating when he should be downstairs helping with the kids breakfast?
And you think it’s ok the dcs could have walked on him?

I mean at the very least, he should be listening to steps getting closer to the door!!

All men are wankers. I'm 55, I know that. All I'm asking is that he keeps it to himself, I don't need to know, and if I had children, they wouldn't need to know either.

This.

Nothing wrong with the act itself, but choose an appropriate time and place.

Shocked by some of the minimising of someone watching porn in this thread. FFS it’s been shown by now that there are so many images of abuse including child sexual abuse on every porn site and they do zero checks that there is no way a viewer could tell if what they’re watching is rape/trafficking/underage etc.

Secondly is the issue of wanking and watching porn when a child could walk in. Totally disgusting and to me does show a lack of self control that could be symptomatic of an addiction.

The outrage about men's wanking is so puzzling. It's a natural thing to do in the privacy of a bedroom in your own home.

He did. He was in the bedroom upstairs. Alone.

Why does he need to be "downstairs helping with the kids breakfast"??? OP says she has one child?! I don't think it takes two adults to make a piece of toast or a bowl of cornflakes!

No one is outraged at the wanking though.

There is a time and place though. Just like having sex or many other ‘adults’ occupations.

Maybe she should. It doesn't sound like she's happy. Maybe he isn't either.

Wanking in private is fine.

Porn use not fine.

No. It’s selfish male behaviour. Pleasuring himself while his wife is downstairs attending to the domestics and childcare.

He’s a wanker in more ways than one and yes he should be shamed. YANBU op.

OK, YANBU.
However, I don't have any kids, so I wouldn't be fussed at all.
Different circumstances.

Yes. Like in his bedroom alone. I honestly don't see the issue with this one. I would have locked the door, but that's it.

Wanking is fine, only on MN do people constantly froth about it.

Do they? How depressing. I think porn is vile. You can never be 100% sure it's actually consensual, loads of the women in it are trafficked and/or drugged. The possibility that I'm watching someone being raped puts me off looking at it, and I have the same standards of any partner. If those standards are too high then so be it, I'd rather be single tbh.