Are many people still homophobic ?

[whatisforteamum]

Twice now I've had jobs where it's come up in conversation where do your adult dcs live.
Around the month in point.Both times I've said where my DD lives and my ds who is gay lives with his partner.
Both times my colleagues have gone weird with me.
I live in a nice town and have worked in smaller villages.
Are people still homophobic or am I being paranoid.

I think pointing out your son is gay is what's making them look at you weird. Not sure why that's necessary.

This. Why not just say "my DS lives in xyz" or add in "with his partner".

Saying "My DS lives with his male partner, boyfriend, same sex lover in xyz" makes you look bonkers.

Yes. Racist too in my experience. I’ve heard people say things like “I don’t mind gay people I just don’t want my kids to be gay”. This includes young, well travelled and highly educated people

I think yes, a lot of people probably are homophobic, however, the answer to 'where do your children live'? would usually be something like 'Leeds or Mars', not something to do with their sexuality.

Yes. Many people are. Gets more obvious in rainbow hating month.

yes, my gay friends face homophobia constantly

I've been in many lesbian relationships and HATE pride month, the rainbow and all that bollocks.

I roll my eyes everytime I see a company with that ugly bloody flag flying.

I'm not sure. I'm fairly sure homophobia is less prevalent than it was, and it's definitely moving in the right direction....but not sure how fast it's moving.

I think being openly homophobic (aggressive, beating up etc) will start looking quite old fashioned and will hopefully die out.

But the more subtle things such as bullying and exclusion may go on longer.

I do agree though that it sounds like you answered the question weirdly.

Also, what does "around the month in point" mean?

Yes, many people will be homophobic.

It is a fairly new societal change for homosexuality to be tolerated - and there are still many people who do not agree with it.

It will take a few more generations for it to become embedded as a norm, and there is no guarantee that this will happen.

Yep we have some homophobic parents in our class WhatsApp group complaining about the PHSE teaching “they don’t want their kids learning about poofs”. The teaching is about not bullying other kids with same-sex parents, not a how-to guide to anal sex.

I did say he lived with his partner in a large city
I wrote on here he is gay because it is in context.

Pride itself is now homophobic.

Ohfuckrucksack thank you for your reply.
My df took the information on board in his 70s and congratulated ds for being open in coming out.

But where is the homophobia arising from if you’ve not specified the sex of the partner?

Why is this? Genuinely curious

Saschkla....poofs.Really.🙄

Honestly yes, I do think some people are still homophobic - I sat at a work meal out a while ago where a young (24 year old so 20 years younger than me!) banged on about how her parents beloved all gay people were going to hell and shouldn’t be allowed to have children. It wasn’t clear that her own views were that different. I felt very bad for another female colleague who I know is married to a woman with two children.

i felt even worse that I couldn’t think of a way of shutting up the young colleague - I wasn’t a very good ally that night.

as others have said, it’s more subtle now - you might mention your son’s husband, for example, and get fun y looks, in a way that wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow if you had a daughter in law. I think some people still expect you not to mention a gay child’s partner, or to skirt around the fact.

so in the OP’s case, no one would think twice if she said ‘my son and his partner Diane live in London’ but she will get looks if she says ‘my son and his partner David live in london’.

the fact that some people are uncomfortable with the second option but not the first (even on this thread) shows that there is still an undercurrent of homophobia in the UK.

Homophobia is still a thing. But far less prevalent and quite different to maybe 20 years ago.

However, I would say your colleagues reaction was to you pointing out your son was gay in relation to the ‘where do your kids live question’

When dd came out it wasn’t a big deal at all, to anyone family including my parents. But dd did tell me she is grateful that I am not one of these mums that likes to point out their daughter is gay at every opportunity. My daughter would be embarrassed if I made her sexuality part of a answer to an unrelated question.

There's homophobia just on this thread, so yes I think there is lots around still sadly.
I think it's fine to add a bit of extra detail about living with his partner, it was a conversation, that's what happens.

But saying ‘he lives with his partner in x city’ gives no indication he is gay

Omg. I believe there are definitely plenty of homophobic and racist people out there. I'm quite shocked about parents coming out with this s crap though . I imagine lots are thinking it tho sadly. I saw that they're teaching about same sex in Yr 6 this term and I'm so glad.

You're not making a lot of sense OP.

Gosh that's awful to hear. I really thought we'd all moved away from that. My DD has a friend with same sex parents in her class so that conversation was had at 5 and its just so normal to her, no more than someone having a step father or single mother. We don't have any gay friends or family members so I thought it was very positive for her. There is no comparison to when I grew up.