Are many people still homophobic ?

[whatisforteamum]

Twice now I've had jobs where it's come up in conversation where do your adult dcs live.
Around the month in point.Both times I've said where my DD lives and my ds who is gay lives with his partner.
Both times my colleagues have gone weird with me.
I live in a nice town and have worked in smaller villages.
Are people still homophobic or am I being paranoid.

You don't know why I'm bringing a major excuse for homophobia into a thread about homophobia?

Do you understand that when someone is gay, that it is not a choice? They just are. That is why there is a lot of work to do, because not accepting things that people just are, is a problem.

I don’t think anyone cares who you sleep with or want to sleep with really. I do find it odd when people announce their child’s sexuality to me. Someone told me their sons was bisexual the other day and I wondered what the appropriate response was. “Ok”? Or “How lovely” or “How exciting”. I mean I literally have no idea why I’m being told.

There's a point of interest here @Bumty . I bet if you said 'I hate Pride' in public, some would accuse you of being homophobic, which would be ironic in your case.

It is possible to not like Pride for a myriad of reasons and not be homophobic.

That's the way it should be.

It's not okay to shove your beliefs on others and "work" on others to accepting your opinions/viewpoints. That's textbook extremism and that's also not okay :).

Couldn't agree more. Let's ban the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Mormons from their door knocking activities, and we should definitely ban street corner religious people preaching and handing out their leaflets. Because they're shoving their beliefs on us.

Oh, not what you meant?

And anyone who uses the term 'homosexualism' is clearly a screaming homophobe. Just own it.

I do mostly mention my sister is married to a lady if I am speaking with someone about them (and mention they have a child)

Mostly it's not to say gay sister but just to acknowledge their relationship publicly and I suppose always show that any homophobia won't be tolerated.

Bit I'd also say my sister in law lives with her husband x and those 2 kids.

Wife and husband demote sex without having to give a name. But saying partner could mean either sex so needs a name to avoid misunderstanding

This. I am not saying that the child will not have to navigate questions at school etc, but these situations will have been thought of by the adoptive parents, who would know how to handle these things, when they happen. It would be shameful if children were to miss out on being raised in a caring home, due to horrid prejudice.

Yes there is still homophobia. You see it on MN for a start. Usually from posters who claim to have lesbian friends who agree with them.

I'm saddened by the homophobic comments on this thread. I'm 66 and have had gay friends since I was in my 20s. My parents generation (now 90s) were both homophobic and casually racist. I honestly thought things had changed, but sadly it seems to be heading backwards.

Sometimes I think people don’t know what to say when you tell them one of your dc are gay. That’s their problem not yours.
I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m proud of both of my kids one gay and one straight. I,like you have no issue saying that my Ds is gay.
I really find it strange how people get weird about it. ( it’s like they are waiting for you to say what you think about it before they comment!)
if they ever ask what I think about it I just say I don’t think about it at all. I don’t want to know about either of my kids sex lives thanks. same as they would wouldn’t want to know about mine.
but I love that I get lots of time with my boy 🥰

No, I don’t know anyone who is homophobic. I have friends of all ages and backgrounds and never hear a word of it. I do hear occasional racism though in response to immigration on small boats.

Errrr why? Only if you’re homophobic would “my son lives with his boyfriend” come across as weird. Nobody literally nobody would bat an eyelid if you said my daughter lives with her boyfriend/husband.

@Sometimesright they do not want to know about your DCs sex lives. Just if you are fine with it or you are going to start saying homophobic things about your DC.

Mentioning that someone is in a same sex relationship isn't speaking about their sex life though, anymore than mentioning someone is in a heterosexual relationship.

For real? She said she said his partners name. So if she said my son lives with his partner David, of course they know he’s gay because I’ve never met any women called David.

@Alwaysthesun24 I agree

A lot of people who say they "don't want it shoved down their throat" would say that a gay couple exchanging a peck on the cheek, holding hands, or being identifiably gay are doing just that.

It's still there but very much covert and underground now and sometimes it's hard having to remind yourself it's them not you and pushing through people's quietness and reservation when you say you live with your partner and 'he works in computers/physiotherapy/chef' etc. It's that subtle change that causes the conversation to just end abruptly and creates an awkward atmosphere.

The worst example I've had in recent years was my old boss who decided that there was nothing else to me apart from that I was gay and used it as a weapon to segregate me from the rest of the team I worked with and cause general microaggression. I still recall their vitriol towards me once when they saw a rainbow badge on my lanyard and immediately assumed it was something LGBTQ+related when it was actually supplied by our hospital trust (amongst many many other examples of homophobic behaviour). This is why I was never comfortable with the NHS using the rainbow during covid, it blurs the lines and homophobic idiots can't differentiate them.

I get that people like that are the exception but you never truly know, sometimes I just wish I could walk into a room and feel comfortable/at ease instead of being on guard for comments or looks, it's tiring.

These are the people who say 'I have no problem with gay people' while also not wanting them to be able to just live their lives just like anyone else.

So OP, if you were in doubt, yes, homophobia is still pretty rampant. Comments on here include:

“your colleagues don’t want to hear about your kids’ sex life”
”my lesbian friends would prefer to be treated like normal couples”
”why do you have to say he’s gay?”
”if you mentioned your son was gay, I’d think you were bonkers”.

Then you wonder if anyone would say/think anything remotely like that if you talked in detail about your daughter’s upcoming wedding to a man (the answer is no).

I got a leaflet from the Scottish family party recently which proves honophobia is alive and kicking. And as for it not being a thing among young people, there was a recent casw where two teenagers tied a classmate to a chair and made him apologise for being gay. They weren't charged with anything.

SFP blocked me from all of their SM.
Ignorant fools they are.

I didn't see your comment but presumably it broke the talk guidelines. Freedom of speech isn't a right to whatever platform you want, stop playing the victim.

In the 1970s most young people didn't care if someone was gay (in the UK). It seems to have gone down hill in some ways.