Are many people still homophobic ?

[whatisforteamum]

Twice now I've had jobs where it's come up in conversation where do your adult dcs live.
Around the month in point.Both times I've said where my DD lives and my ds who is gay lives with his partner.
Both times my colleagues have gone weird with me.
I live in a nice town and have worked in smaller villages.
Are people still homophobic or am I being paranoid.

@NightsWithYou this gets trotted out a lot. But anyone I know knew their sexuality very early. We knew who we wanted but didn’t necessarily know about sex but attraction.

But the comments are guaranteed if a child indicates same sex or both, never if straight.

Depends on what you define as 'homophonic' most people don't want it pushed in their faces or to be forced to have their kids taught about lgbt relationships. But most people would run to the defense of a gay person who was being screamed at by an actual gay hater in the street.

Of you don't want your kids taught about same sex relationships then you're homophobic, but not necessarily honophonic. HTH.

Is that a bit like the recent FWR thread which a poster started accusing a woman who won a 10k race of being a transwomen, resulting in a vicious pile on of hate towards her on the thread and her receiving abusive communications?

The poor woman had to contact Mumsnet to correct them, posted on the thread herself about her being the mother of 3 children and it being an unflattering photo of her after winning, and the OP of that thread had to issue a grovelling apology.

Mumsnet will be lucky if they are not sued for that.

Is that how well people can tell each others sex, eh?

Yes, I have seen that so get what you mean. I agree that it’s a problem if someone thinks that a boy knows if he likes girls at age 8, but if he says he likes boys, then they say ‘it’s probably just a phase’. 🙄

I was just saying that that particular poster seemed to think no child could fancy anyone at age 8, so maybe just ignorance about kids rather than phobia.

I don’t want to derail the thread, but let’s not pretend that any of us struggle to tell who is male or female.

I’ve read about that thread elsewhere and I don’t think all is what it seemed.

Oh come on, my six year old has been discussing which girls in his class have a crush on his friends (probably none of them, but they think about these things from a very young age).

@NightsWithYou agreed. What I have noticed is the children are much more open.

I have a ten year old son a friend of his recently said he plans on marrying a particular male sports star. My son wants to know does that mean they can have a shot of his cars. That’s what his friends group were discussing access to the cars 😂.

I grew up watching an older cousin face horrendous homophobia in Ireland in the 80s. He still advocates today, is involved in many advocacy groups and yes society has progressed but we aren’t there yet.

That was a cut and dried case of false accusation, resulting in the abuse of a woman, and it played out for all to see on the 2 threads on FWR.

The first where the OP made the accusations, linked to photos, and resulted in a pile-on of hate towards the woman.

The 2nd where the OP had to issue a grovelling apology for the first after they'd been contacted and corrected and asked to post again on FWR to make some sort of amends for the abuse the woman has received as a result of the thread. The 2nd also contained some meek apologies from those who had joined the pile on.

Yeah, I was initially shocked when he did it ("My little boy is talking about SEXUALITY!"), but it didn't take long for me to realise that sexuality is about way more than sex, and that kids are constantly having it shoved down their throats - as long as it's heterosexuality, that is. "Have you got a girlfriend, what kind of lady are you going to marry when you grow up, mummy does this and daddy does that" etc etc. Unsurprising I guess that he feels the need to define himself as not fitting in that box.

thank you for displaying homophobia. Homophobia is wanting any difference due to sexuality.

So the ignorant homophobic people who don’t want their children to learn of of non heterosexual relationships are in my view more of a threat because they believe they aren’t bigots when they clearly are.

I don’t doubt it because I knew I liked boys from about 8, but lots of kids don’t get involved in the who likes who stuff, or don’t like anyone themselves til they’re older. If you have got one of those kids, and didn’t feel attraction to anyone yourself until later, you may not realise that some kids have those feelings quite young or at least talk about it.

Discussion on another site seemed to say all was not what it seemed. Not everyone is who they say are on the internet. I don’t think I’d be allowed to link the other site, would I? I don’t want to derail the thread anyway.

homophobia alive and well. FIL informed me that he would be 'sick to his stomach' if any of his DGC turned out gay. Imagine!

One of my colleagues pointed out her son has a nut allergy.

But Did someone say "Where do your dc live?" and she answered "My ds has a nut allergy" which is what you seem to be implying here.

If someone asks where my dc live I say "ds is in Sheffield and dd in London".

However, back to your question, of course there are lots of people that are homophobic. What is surprising is that you aren't aware of that.

Do you let him see your children? Even if they’re straight, he’s not the sort of person I’d want around my children.

Very rarely and never unsupervised.

Glad to hear it. Hopefully if he does express those views around your children in future, they’ll challenge him and he’ll feel like a fool.

That's exactly what happened! About 5 teens jumped down his throat along with his adult children and children-in-law. Needless to say he was outnumbered. We see him as a tragic old dinosaur tbh.

Mmmhhmmm 🙄

It's the people who have an infallible sense that they always know the actual sex who are responsible for my butch lesbian friends being harassed in the women's toilets.

That always pisses me off, the assumption that you'd fancy them just cos you're gay. Why would you any more than all women would fancy them. Whether you're gay or straight you certainly don't fancy everyone you meet otherwise you wouldn't get anything done!

I used to work with someone who used to make a crack about having to avoid being alone with the very senior boss who happened to be gay and in a long term relationship. I used to reply, well I don't think he'd fancy you Bob with your outdated attitudes, lack of any kind of culture and weedy little moustache.

If I sense that a conversation is going down that path I just head it off making it very clear that I'm not homophobic while also affecting to not realising that they are. It's a difficult skill but I'm working on it.

Butch lesbians are women and you can tell they’re women. Female faces and bodies are different from males and it easy to tell the difference, if people are honest.

Butch lesbians are getting harassed at times in women's toilets.

If people actually look, they’ll easily be able to tell a man from a woman. This is one of the issues with gender ideology though, when people believe clothes and make up or lack of make up, make you a man or woman.

This thread is about sexuality though, not gender identity. It’s a shame it all gets lumped together.

It happened before the increase in Trans people. It is not a new issue.