Are many people still homophobic ?

[whatisforteamum]

Twice now I've had jobs where it's come up in conversation where do your adult dcs live.
Around the month in point.Both times I've said where my DD lives and my ds who is gay lives with his partner.
Both times my colleagues have gone weird with me.
I live in a nice town and have worked in smaller villages.
Are people still homophobic or am I being paranoid.

Simonjt
Sorry to hear this.
I find it sickening that someone didn't want to share an office with you.
Makes me wonder the thought process of others.

I think you’ll find you do have an issue with gay people.

Op homophobia is certainly alive and well in this country.

I've a pretty wide circle of friends. Among the older people (70-83) they're fine. Possibly an anomaly but those folks are open-minded, keen to understand things, and are very accepting.
The friends aged 50-70, very mixed, but more are accepting of people and up to challenge bigotry, homophobia etc.
Those aged 30-50 seem less tolerant, and more judgemental about other people's lifestyles.
Those aged late teens to mid-20s are more tolerant but not necessarily as much so as my oldest aged friends.

Obviously this is a generalisation of people I know in those age groups, nor necessarily a representation of those ages across the board.

My 8 year old decided to come out as bisexual- to everyone he knows, including his entire class. (I admit I was a bit surprised, we hadn't Discussed Sexuality at home, although we have a same sex family as neighbours, and every time homosexuality came up in conversation at home it was treated as a matter of course. However, I think they did something about Pride at school, and I know many gay/ bisexual people just know as children, just like many straight people do).

Since then we've been pretty much shunned by the other parents. Blanked at the school gates, messages suggesting playdates left on read (it's a small farming community).

Now, I can't say it was that for sure, but I have strong suspicions.

I'm in my 60s and seeing gay couples together doesn't bother me in the slightest. We have a lovely female couple two doors up and no-one bats an eyelid.

For my ds' generation, it isn't even worthy of note.

@SirenDiMare
'I don't consider myself homophobic, but I do acknowledge that I'm not all accepting of homosexualism.'

Sigh...

The above nonsense is a good example as to why there is a lot of progress to be made.

The broad definition of homophobia is not wanting gay people to have the same rights and opportunities as non-gay people. Reading what you've written there I'd definitely say you fit the definition.

Depressingly - and personally, as I also have a young gay teen - going by this thread homophobia is obviously alive and well. If he is ever in a relationship I want him to be able to walk down the street with his partner without being afraid of being accused of 'shoving it down our throats'.

I think perception of what is homophobic is changing too though. My in laws would say they are totally fine with people being gay, and they don't make a big deal of it with my son. But they would also see it as something that should be commented on in a way they wouldn't do if someone was heterosexual.

Yes, some people blame their religion for their intolerance, as though it's 'out of their hands'.

Yet they throw a hissy fit if someone is intolerant of their religion.

Could have said it better myself.

''@Foxesandsquirrels
@whatisforteamum

I didn't say my ds is gay.
I said his partners name.
Same as I said my daughter's partner's name.
Than how would them looking at you funny mean they're being homophobic if you didn't say he's gay? You can't be homophobic towards someone you don't even know is gay.''

Rather obvious I would say: the OP means that she was discussing her son and mentioned the name of his partner.

He has a partner with a male name which makes it obvious that the OP's son is in a same sex relationship. As in: if you have a son with a partner called 'John' or 'Kevin' you don't have to spell out the fact that he is gay for people to catch on...

Then she noticed the change of attitude from the people she was talking to after that.

The homophobia in my dc school shocked me. Far worse than when I was at school. They all love Heart Stopper but I don’t. It shows bullying gay people as bad but normalises it. Shows like schitts creek are far better because they don’t make a thing of it, it’s just normal. That show did far more for integrating gay communities than others I’ve seen. It saddens me just how weird people get about love.

This thread isn't about Christians...

My view point on this isn't actually to do with religion and it's unlikely to change. As I said earlier, just like I'm respecting of others lifestyle, I'd appreciate if other don't shove their lifestyle down my throat either.

Comments above like there is a lot of work to do...what work? Why do you wish to change my opinion? That fits the definition of extremism...I thought we lived in a tolerant society?

I think so. I'm a lesbian. Currently single. Not out at work but not 'in' either, I just keep my personal life to myself (as I would if I were straight). My job is a bit of a boys' club and sometimes some of them call something 'gay' as an insult or make a joke about the local gay bar. It's a lot better than 20 years ago but a long way to go imo.

Funny enough my lesbian friends can't stand the way people celebrate it and prefer to be normal couples getting on with the day like us straight ones

The thread is about homophobia.
Some religions encourage homophobia due to their teachings.
It's not ok to be homophobic.
It's not ok to treat certain people as lesser because of who they love/are attracted to.

Most lesbian or gay couples I know just want to live their lives like everyone else. Pride is important to some, as the option to take part if you want to, but it's definitely not the only way to be inclusive.

I certainly hope not. My closest gay friend is a lot older, and when he was young the mere act of being gay was illegal. I'd hope things have come on leaps and bounds over the years. I remember when I was a kid 'gay' was often used as a playground insult.

How is a gay lifestyle being "shoved down your throat" exactly?

I would bet it's nothing worse than what's on Love Island. Funny how you never hear gay people complaining about that.

I don't know why you're bringing religion into this. As I said this isn't about what Christians believe or follow.

A lot of viewpoints and opinions in life aren't formed on the basis of religions. We're grown ups and entitled to feel/think how we see fit. So long we're not enforcing it on others, what is the issue?

It's not okay to shove your beliefs on others and "work" on others to accepting your opinions/viewpoints. That's textbook extremism and that's also not okay :).

I don't even know what you're banging on about?

I didn't mention Christians and I haven't read any of your posts? 🤷‍♂️

I stand by what I said though, totally.

My comment deleted because I expressed a different opinion - so much for being a part of tolerant society and freedom of speech

A school mum was talking about the pros and cons of mixed vs single sex secondary schools for her DS and what was affecting her decision on where to send him. Her primary concern with single sex is that it will be full of gay boy pupils and she’s worried they will make him become gay. She says it is not acceptable in her culture and religion to be gay.

I was WTAF but I doubt she’s alone in her homophobia, even though I think society has come a long way in acceptance compared to decades ago (and still has a long way to go I presume).

I’m not sure why pointing out your child lives with their spouse is considered weird (actually, I do, it’s homophobia).

“My DS lives in <town name> with his wife” is something I would say. None of my kids are gay as far as I know but if they were and they were in the same living situation, I’d say exactly the same “My DS lives in <town name> with his boyfriend/husband.” It’s just general chit chat.

The fact that some people think it’s weird to point it out in such a normal conversation shows people are still homophobic, yes. It saddens (but doesn’t really surprise) me.

Homophobia is a hate crime.