Welcome to the commune

[GauntJudy]

Please leave your possessions at the door, we live a simple life here, no currency, self sustaining, communal meals and electricity from 7pm to 9pm only.

Now to the first matter.

What job you want?

starts eating the overstocked perishables and regrets slaughtering huge pig

Librarian. Or knitter (presuming clothes are part of this commune, for the avoidance of hypothermia and of traumatising those with functioning eyes).

Yes you can either knit clothes or blindfolds @Hidingthegoodchocolate

Every full moon you can journey to the town and trade a sack of organic potatoes for 6 books and 3 magazines.

Cook. I’m good at making something out of nothing and I’ve been here so long I know how to stretch a chicken into next month!

Excellent. The blindfolds will need to be a close weave.

How are you going to attract people to join? Apart from all the potatoes they can eat, obviously.

Cook, definitely. I'm a fussy eater (supertaster) and it's the only way I would know there was something I could eat.

I also had many many years of poverty so I can make a meal out of anything.... Plus I am learning about wild food

You'll have to be our scavenger @DilemmaDelilah , @Gilead is the cook and there's only 4 of us to cook for right now. You can dump dead rabbits on the kitchen counter in a resentful manner until you get promoted to "the other cook".

We need a Head of Public Relations to come along @Hidingthegoodchocolate to deal with our recruitment issue. Unfortunately the outside world thinks we are weird and suspect us of being a cult.

@GauntJudy I was thinking more of pignuts, hawthorn tips and sorrel - but could do rabbits etc as well!
I have learned a lot about edible 'weeds', but haven't put much into practice just yet. Apart from the hedgerow jelly I make in the autumn which has whatever (edible) wild fruit and berries I can find, plus apples I pick from the hedgerow. It does need sugar though... might have to start stockpiling for the commune!

I can make wine, beer, cider and mead.

I'm happy to tend the kitchen and vegetable garden... but am I allowed to use slug pellets or I will have to be on guard for 24 hours a day!?

I can also whittle spoons!

Great @DilemmaDelilah, we can perhaps trade @Pebble21uk whittled spoons for sugar when we go on our visits to the town.

@BouleDeSuif is in, not checking references or anything. We need mead pronto.

@Pebble21uk excellent you are our gardener. We'll see if another recruit can be slug scarer, or maybe they'd die in pots of the mead we leave out (the slugs not the new recruit)

I’m making blackcurrant jam, be careful not to muddle them with nightshades!

I'll be the cow maid, or is it dairy maid or dairy made even
I love jersey cows, I know how to milk and how to make cream, cheese and butter.
And can we have a nanny goat?

Will it be tidy? I am currently hiding in the loo as the mess in my home is doing my head in! If yes, then I'll look after all the animals (especially cats and Guinea pigs) please

OK @anunlikelyseahorse anything with udders is your area.

Surely we'll be tidy @Unicorn34 , all our possessions were cast down "The Well of Rebirth" when we were sworn in. We've not amassed enough random shit to create a mess, just need to keep on top of the numerous whittled spoons and knitted blindfolds. What function will the guinea pigs serve please? We can't have frivolous creatures all over the place.

Don't accidentally kill us all please @Gilead , not yet.

Ooo ooo can I be gardener's assistant?
Bonus activity I can teach yoga and I can psychotherapise people, did both professionally and can doubtless still turn my hand to both in an apocalyptic-type-scenario. If needed.

I'll be security

I can make soap?

I can make gin out of your beer.

I can write. I’ll be our In House Journalist and will write the book detailing our lives and recipes. We can sell it to buy more pigs and chickens.

I can help weave mats to sleep on (never done this but imagine I'm good at it), I'll also help with sewing, knitting etc.

I'm the queen of diplomacy so I can be a mediator for disagreements.

I can design the commune website and manage the air BnB listings for the tourist yurts.

I can also be the baker and tend to the wildflower patch.

What do you mean you'll get back to me?!

No telly, I assume? Then you'll need an entertainer. I can be poet and musician. Descant recorder is a hauntingly-lovely, simple, low-tech instrument, perfectly in keeping with the commune's values, I'm sure. And I've already got my grade 1.