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Welcome to the commune

171 replies

GauntJudy · 31/05/2024 00:00

Please leave your possessions at the door, we live a simple life here, no currency, self sustaining, communal meals and electricity from 7pm to 9pm only.

Now to the first matter.

What job you want?

OP posts:
GauntJudy · 31/05/2024 00:11

starts eating the overstocked perishables and regrets slaughtering huge pig

OP posts:
Hidingthegoodchocolate · 31/05/2024 00:16

Librarian. Or knitter (presuming clothes are part of this commune, for the avoidance of hypothermia and of traumatising those with functioning eyes).

GauntJudy · 31/05/2024 00:20

Yes you can either knit clothes or blindfolds @Hidingthegoodchocolate

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GauntJudy · 31/05/2024 00:23

Every full moon you can journey to the town and trade a sack of organic potatoes for 6 books and 3 magazines.

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Gilead · 31/05/2024 00:26

Cook. I’m good at making something out of nothing and I’ve been here so long I know how to stretch a chicken into next month!

Hidingthegoodchocolate · 31/05/2024 00:27

Excellent. The blindfolds will need to be a close weave.

How are you going to attract people to join? Apart from all the potatoes they can eat, obviously.

DilemmaDelilah · 31/05/2024 07:09

Cook, definitely. I'm a fussy eater (supertaster) and it's the only way I would know there was something I could eat.

I also had many many years of poverty so I can make a meal out of anything.... Plus I am learning about wild food

GauntJudy · 31/05/2024 09:25

You'll have to be our scavenger @DilemmaDelilah , @Gilead is the cook and there's only 4 of us to cook for right now. You can dump dead rabbits on the kitchen counter in a resentful manner until you get promoted to "the other cook".

We need a Head of Public Relations to come along @Hidingthegoodchocolate to deal with our recruitment issue. Unfortunately the outside world thinks we are weird and suspect us of being a cult.

OP posts:
DilemmaDelilah · 31/05/2024 09:40

@GauntJudy I was thinking more of pignuts, hawthorn tips and sorrel - but could do rabbits etc as well!
I have learned a lot about edible 'weeds', but haven't put much into practice just yet. Apart from the hedgerow jelly I make in the autumn which has whatever (edible) wild fruit and berries I can find, plus apples I pick from the hedgerow. It does need sugar though... might have to start stockpiling for the commune!

BouleDeSuif · 31/05/2024 09:44

I can make wine, beer, cider and mead.

Pebble21uk · 31/05/2024 09:52

I'm happy to tend the kitchen and vegetable garden... but am I allowed to use slug pellets or I will have to be on guard for 24 hours a day!?

I can also whittle spoons!

GauntJudy · 31/05/2024 10:08

Great @DilemmaDelilah, we can perhaps trade @Pebble21uk whittled spoons for sugar when we go on our visits to the town.

@BouleDeSuif is in, not checking references or anything. We need mead pronto.

@Pebble21uk excellent you are our gardener. We'll see if another recruit can be slug scarer, or maybe they'd die in pots of the mead we leave out (the slugs not the new recruit)

OP posts:
Gilead · 31/05/2024 10:18

I’m making blackcurrant jam, be careful not to muddle them with nightshades!

anunlikelyseahorse · 31/05/2024 10:30

I'll be the cow maid, or is it dairy maid or dairy made evenGrin
I love jersey cows, I know how to milk and how to make cream, cheese and butter.
And can we have a nanny goat?

Unicorn34 · 31/05/2024 10:39

Will it be tidy? I am currently hiding in the loo as the mess in my home is doing my head in! If yes, then I'll look after all the animals (especially cats and Guinea pigs) please

GauntJudy · 31/05/2024 12:31

OK @anunlikelyseahorse anything with udders is your area.

Surely we'll be tidy @Unicorn34 , all our possessions were cast down "The Well of Rebirth" when we were sworn in. We've not amassed enough random shit to create a mess, just need to keep on top of the numerous whittled spoons and knitted blindfolds. What function will the guinea pigs serve please? We can't have frivolous creatures all over the place.

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GauntJudy · 31/05/2024 12:35

Don't accidentally kill us all please @Gilead , not yet.

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heldinadream · 31/05/2024 12:37

Ooo ooo can I be gardener's assistant?
Bonus activity I can teach yoga and I can psychotherapise people, did both professionally and can doubtless still turn my hand to both in an apocalyptic-type-scenario. If needed.

Dexterrolledoffthesofa · 31/05/2024 12:39

I'll be security

Magpiecomplex · 31/05/2024 12:43

I can make soap?

Chemenger · 31/05/2024 12:44

BouleDeSuif · 31/05/2024 09:44

I can make wine, beer, cider and mead.

I can make gin out of your beer.

ThingsWillOnlyGetBetter · 31/05/2024 12:50

I can write. I’ll be our In House Journalist and will write the book detailing our lives and recipes. We can sell it to buy more pigs and chickens.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 31/05/2024 12:55

I can help weave mats to sleep on (never done this but imagine I'm good at it), I'll also help with sewing, knitting etc.

I'm the queen of diplomacy so I can be a mediator for disagreements.

StripedTomatoes · 31/05/2024 13:01

I can design the commune website and manage the air BnB listings for the tourist yurts.

I can also be the baker and tend to the wildflower patch.

What do you mean you'll get back to me?!

AudiobookListener · 31/05/2024 13:13

No telly, I assume? Then you'll need an entertainer. I can be poet and musician. Descant recorder is a hauntingly-lovely, simple, low-tech instrument, perfectly in keeping with the commune's values, I'm sure. And I've already got my grade 1.