Welcome to the commune

[GauntJudy]

Please leave your possessions at the door, we live a simple life here, no currency, self sustaining, communal meals and electricity from 7pm to 9pm only.

Now to the first matter.

What job you want?

I’d quite fancy having a go at being the resident alchemist or blacksmith. Is it any disadvantage if the applicant is horribly clumsy and a bit of a scaredy cat with red hot/molten things?

Otherwise, I could help out with weekly self-improvement classes? Admittedly it’d be quite a narrow subject range such as mime for beginners (first person to pretend to be trapped in an imaginary phone booth is banned for a semester) but other talented commune members could jump in and fill gaps with various topics.

The half day course on dog massage I did a few years back could probably be adapted for guinea pigs and chickens. I could also croon to them in a relaxing way but I don’t think they’d like it.

Thank you for considering my application.
Times like these I really wish I’d gone in for plumbing to have something useful to bring to the table.

@MagpieCastle We should team up on the alchemy, soap-making is halfway there already. And given our usernames it would be very appropriate!

I can sew, knit, crochet, garden, look after animals, make butter and cheese, milk a cow or goat, pretty much do anything practical.
I would like my own room and loo please…

I'm about to try dipping my own candles... if it works well I can do them en-masse for all those hours without electricity.

I also make mead... currently I have 20 litres either bottled or in the airing cupboard bubbling away. I will donate them for our 'commune warming party' to get us off to a good start. You can choose from Maple Spiced Mead, Wild Blackberry or Dandelion!

Not fair!!
If there’s electricity for sewing machines then I want to be able to use power tools for my woodworking.

Ooh, yes that sounds fab! <eyes up the design of 2 magpies in alchemist robes doodled for the alchemy/soap team T shirt> I would also happily be your
soap-making apprentice as that would be both useful and the lovely smells will cheer us up when our alchemy gold turns green.

I love cleaning.

Happy to clean.

@MagpieCastle Good plan!
@MagpiePi would you like to join Team Magpie too? Carved wooden soap dishes maybe?

What function will the guinea pigs serve please? We can't have frivolous creatures all over the place.

I was sad to see that the knitting job has already been snapped up, but I can make the yarn for the knitters to knit with. I'll bring my spinning wheel. I'm sure I could spin guinea pig hair. Long-haired guinea pigs only, please.

Oh and if children or adults are interested in learning any foreign languages, I can teach French, German and some Spanish.

Having said I have no useful skills, I am a graphic designer so could sort the branding for the two magpies soap, etc. We could sell them in pouches woven from guinea pig hair.

Can I check if we can still pop to M&S for knickers though?

Can I check if we can still pop to M&S for knickers though?

You mean you don't fancy knitted knickers made of the finest handspun guinea pig hair?!

I never thought of myself as particularly fussy before, but...

Your branding skills sound much needed @FutureFeelsBleak since my magpie t shirt design looked more like two guinea pigs fighting in a sack.

Sorry to change the design brief but it might now need to be three magpies if @MagpiePi joins with @Magpiecomplex for magnificent commune soap dishes to add extra value to soap-making/alchemy. Will keep you posted.

P.s. no info available yet on knicker situation but Guinea pig wool versions might be a potential sub if sneaky M&S visits are not permitted? If so, I’ll be packing quantities of itch relief cream which could be traded for graphic design skills?

Oh I have dreamed/dreamt of living in a commune for over 35 years. Even though I am introverted I would love commune life.

Today I have genuinely made butter from some double cream and also knitted a sock, so I would like to apply for dairy maid and shepherd. I will make butter and cheese, and knit all the wooly items for the whole commune.

I request that the gardener provides a continuous supply of carrots, as I am addicted to raw carrots.

Where can I sign up?

I think we should at least TRY guinea pig yarn undies before deciding anything. Sensible high leg design please.

@Devastated999 I like how knitting a sock has qualified you to be our shepherd, you're in!

Pleased to note we have 3 magpies now, 2 is for sorrow isn't it, we can't have that!

I have a bike with basket and panniers. Also previous experience of cycling while towing truck type thing.

I could do collections and deliveries.

I think in the interests of attracting new recruits I should emphasise that sleeping quarters are private. Meals are communal with designated "no chat, no offence taken" tables.

We've acquired a decent range of skill sets so far, and nobody appears to be a total arsehole, we're cooking on gas (/sticks from the wood)

I'll volunteer for childcare - between the ages of 5 and 10

Why is there only leccy between 7 and 9pm?

Just seen no kids allowed

I'll watch the guinea pig

As an outsider, I could visit, browse your craft works and buy artisanal goods

I was thinking I could offer a camouflaged van delivery service for your clandestine orders from The Outside 😈 The bike seems more on-message, though!

I'll covert my imaginary van into a snug home with power, internet, tea, coffee, hot shower and a loo. You can visit if you like - I accept payment in mead and cake.

Three magpies is for a girl, so the '3 magpies women's commune' has a nice ring to it. But in turn that means no more magpies, otherwise it's 'four for a boy'.

I have yet to be convinced on the undies.

❤️

I have not applied yet, but if there is cheese, I’m there.

@GauntJudy , I am good at looking around and seeing what needs to be done, then doing it. Is there a space for me? Will work for cheese!