Welcome to the commune

[GauntJudy]

Please leave your possessions at the door, we live a simple life here, no currency, self sustaining, communal meals and electricity from 7pm to 9pm only.

Now to the first matter.

What job you want?

Can I run courses in forest bathing and wild swimming? We do have a large lake with crystal clear waters that run in from mountain streams don't we?

Actually scrap forest bathing. I think I'm going to invent a new activity - Forest reading. You get your own zero gravity recliner chair, snuggly blankets and a selection of cosy crime novels from the library ( seminal feminist literature is also available but no one actually chooses that). Refreshments are served in a replica of an iron age roundhouse ( I can also supervise the building of this but can't actually lift anything!). Special day courses are available with spoon whittling in the morning followed by forest reading in the afternoon. There are also occasional courses on making stone age arrow heads!

I can do woodwork and build things. Can I have power tools please?
My brick work might be a bit rustic looking to start with but I’m sure I’ll get better with practice.
Will there be chickens?

I'll join @Pebble21uk and@heldinadream and be a gardener.

I'm good at producing salads, veggies and fruit. Give me a green house and a 20 x 20 veggie patch, and I'm happy. 😊

I can also make jams and pickles, and bottle fruit. And I'd love to have a go at bee keeping.

Yes. It's probably worth teaching us the post apocalypse yoga routine now actually, just in case you don't make it.

@Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong can you please weave yoga mats as well as sleep ones?

Ooh, post apocalypse yoga sounds fabulous.

I am also quite good at darning and other types of clothes mending. Can I be in the repair shop when I'm not forest reading and wild swimming?

Great. Here's a big chunky stick I found

Yes, useful to have, sell and potentially a weapon

Hard yes

If you can do whittled spoon advertorials you are in.

I'm good with horses?

Are there any small children allowed? If so, I can teach them.

We don't want tourists, they already ogle us in the town, and on my last visit one sneered at my whittled spoons.

Baking yes

Just to clarify, post-apocalyptic yoga (and therapy) is basically yoga (and therapy) without professional bodies and codes of practice breathing down my neck telling me to follow the rules. So it's anarchic.
As I always wanted it to be (I hate being 'good' and rule-following but needs did must and I scraped through). 😂

Claps and twirls excitedly

Baking, gardening, teaching feminist theory? Includes Goddess stuff.

Baking yes

OK great. I can only bake brownies and banana bread. Are we part of an international commune network that we can swap exotic ingredients with?

We only get 6 books and 3 magazines every full moon, I've already memorised the February edition of Take a Break.

Yes to workshops with somewhat medieval themes to them.

No power tools, they effectively steal jobs from residents, in fact we call them power scabs.

Yes chickens

Will a knitted bee keeping outfit suffice?

We only ride donkeys here, will that do?

Can we have a herb garden please?

No, but there might be guinea pigs, they're generally neglected in society's education programmes. Be the change.

Could you tailor your teaching to a guinea pig audience? We're trying to make a real societal difference, and also carve out an attractive USP to attract new recruits. I think guinea pig equality might be the way forward.

Is it possible to make yarn from guinea pig hair/fur? 🤔