What do you think makes an ordinary looking woman attractive?

[Trainbother]

To a man?

I've obviously been clicking on the wrong things because my FB feed is full of "do these three things to attract a man".

Mostly they seem completely bonkers, things like wear red.

It's made me think though. Obviously ordinary women do attract men, what kinds of things make them (us?) stand out enough to draw him to her?

I'm not really looking for hints 🤣 but I'm quite interested in the psycology of it all.

Who gives a shit what ‘men’ find attractive 😁 How often do you meet a man who is physically attractive and has a personality and is straight and is single? I imagine not very often at all once you’re over 25 😁That’s because there aren’t very many of them to begin with and the few there is get snapped up.

I think in general women are more attractive than men and most women are in relationships with a man that is punching. Don’t be wasting your precious life and resources on boob jobs or scarves or constantly fucking dieting to try and attract a man who won’t be as amazing as you anyway 😊

Sometimes true. I think when you factor in intelligence levels (and therefore capacity for decent conversation, connection, and very importantly wit and humour); finances; physical attractiveness; kindness and decency; people aim to find a partner with roughly their level on these four characteristics (more being a bonus). Obviously some people make an enormous compromise on one area to offset their own deficiency in another (or both people make sacrifices in more than one area if both deficient in more than one).

The balance of importance of each characteristic will be weighed up differently by different people. Therefore, most people will be able to find someone who will accept them, who is roughly at their level in terms of averaging across these characteristics if they really want to, especially because people tend to meet people more similar to them because they have similar social and work circles etc. However, the higher someone of either sex scores on all of these things the more desirable they will be objectively (although individual "tastes" vary of course and there will always be some people actively seeking an imbalanced relationship for other reasons). Somebody scoring highly on these characteristics will therefore have a greater choice of partners (and a greater chance of avoiding aforementioned disturbed people seeking imbalanced relationships due to their own psychological problems).

To be clear, my post is about "attractiveness", i.e. why people are drawn to each other and start relationships in the first place.

Clearly maintaining them is a whole different ballgame although this basic compatibility is important (and imbalances in most cases lead to destruction, but not in all). Once in a relationship compatibility become far more complex and the outcome is largely dependent on communication styles, intimacy, expectations, values, shared worldview, level of effort to develop and sustain emotional closeness, emotional intelligence in understanding how emotional space and regular emotional closeness is needed to sustain a long-term relationship, commitment etc.

But in terms of the OP's post - which I took to mean what makes people attractive to begin with - I think the four characteristics I listed are it really. But obviously in the case of men you have to factor in that a large percentage aren't emotionally intelligent and have absorbed social stereotypes to the extent that they don't view women as their equals and expect them to massage their egos and "smile at them a lot", "seem approachable" "give them all their attention", "make them feel important", "hang on their every word" as many posts have said. But men who want that from women aren't the kind you want to be attracting anyway because it's easy to guess what kind of relationship that would turn into!

👏👏👏