What do you think makes an ordinary looking woman attractive?

[Trainbother]

To a man?

I've obviously been clicking on the wrong things because my FB feed is full of "do these three things to attract a man".

Mostly they seem completely bonkers, things like wear red.

It's made me think though. Obviously ordinary women do attract men, what kinds of things make them (us?) stand out enough to draw him to her?

I'm not really looking for hints 🤣 but I'm quite interested in the psycology of it all.

I hate to say it, but if you’re tall, it will automatically make a lot of men rule you out of the dating category.

In the same way that I would be highly unlikely to date a man my height or shorter, lots of men won’t date women who are taller than them.

I agree with confidence

I recall there’s also research that shows grooming and attempts at looking more attractive are attractive in themselves – regardless of whether the desired effect was achieved or not. That’s to say, the intention to look nice/attractive carries weight all by itself

Can’t recall specific details of the research, but I suppose an example might be fake tan – even if the result is not natural and clearly a product – the fact that someone is concerned with their appearance and has undertaken grooming is attractive in itself. Apparently!

@Neveralonewithaclone

"Hmm very much a feminist and socialist. A polite demeanour, a spirit of genuine generosity. Views all people as absolute equals."

I'm not sure a man who expects "slutty but respectable" warrants a feminist label. That right there is a man expecting a male ideology projected onto women, that they should be a "slut" which means she should perform dirty sexual activities with him, but she should remain demiurge in public, so she should act accordingly to how society and he feels is appropriate. Not feminist at all, in my opinion anyway.

I am not sure how you classify what I wrote as particularly stunning women, and proceed to write the same thing but in slightly different order?

Yep. It's shit if you live in a place with a lot of short or average height men and you're an above average woman. Bloke I once went out with used to tell me his previous gf had better legs (she didn't). She was also short and the kind of plump that explodes into fat in late 20s. He also didn't like the way I dressed or the way i was so friendly with people. I should have left him to her.

My mother in law always had men round her like flies round shit, she thought it was because she was stunning,she wasn't. It was because she put out vibes of being up for it, as she often was even when married to FIL 😊

You sound nice 🙄

My thoughts exactly. Sounds like a right 'gent'

Yeah I guess so although for me it’s more when a person has that twinkle in their eye that says they’ll be up for anything and have a laugh doing it that gets me weak at the knees. A little bit of subtle innuendo goes a long way, too. Looks rarely come in to sexual attraction ime.

A lot of messages have said that ‘slim’ is important to men - I agree that it probably is - but is any of that changing now that people in general are getting bigger?

Well big arses are definitely popular

I think ‘shapely’ – whatever size you happen to be – would be more the point

You can be a bad shape no matter what size you are. I think an hourglass figure is desirable whether that’s a slim hourglass or a bigger one.

In the late 90s / early 00s it was desirable to have this stick thin, no bum look with stuck on boobs. Then Kim Kardashian changed everything.

It was desirable in dominant mainstream western cultures, but I think it’s important to add many cultures didn’t subscribe to that idea of skinny=beauty long before KK.

Personally I have zero interest in that family and do not look at them as models or inspirations for curves.

I grew up in the 90s not thinking a waif like figure was anything to strive for and was always proud to have a bigger bum although I was generally very slim. The men in my late teens that I dated went for curves too.

So even now the kardashians are allegedly
“slimming down” ie. Reversing their surgical enhancements and apparently the 90s fashion for being slim is returning, curves are still IT for me!

Isn't there a magic waist to hip ratio? Like .7 or something. I didn't really get hips until my 20s, so I was more the straight up with sticking out boobs shape. The hourglass came in my 20s

Always had a bum. I know this, because it was pinched to fuck in my clubbing years. Came back from Reading festivalone year black and blue.

Exactly..its perpetuated and invented by the patriarchy...women in competition with each other for men. Its so males think they have the onus over any woman, even if the guy hasnt great qualities. They think whilst women are fighting over them that their value increases...it doesn't...for me anyway, it decreases.

I’m married and all, but because of this thread I put on a scarf before leaving the house tonight. Am watching my husband closely to see how he reacts.

Bet you a million pounds he doesn’t notice the scarf, but have you checked your deportment? How’s your posture?

For me, sometimes it's the way the person is. Usually, it's a combination of their clothing style, their hobbies, their likes and intrigues, and their general personality. Then there's the other option of sometimes you just like what you like.

a friend wore a saucy nighty for her other half once (hoping the person would notice) and all they got was whats for tea, and they had been together for a few years.

Careful, Alice! You don't know what might happen! 😂

Confidence, charisma. What did Mrs Simpson have?

Certain skills?

I agree with what a pp said earlier too: pheromones. Aren't we, biologically, just weighing up potential mates to secure healthy offspring- hence the waist ratio?

Not sure how that works post menopause though. Maybe that's when a nice scarf and handbag come into their own.