What do you think makes an ordinary looking woman attractive?

[Trainbother]

To a man?

I've obviously been clicking on the wrong things because my FB feed is full of "do these three things to attract a man".

Mostly they seem completely bonkers, things like wear red.

It's made me think though. Obviously ordinary women do attract men, what kinds of things make them (us?) stand out enough to draw him to her?

I'm not really looking for hints 🤣 but I'm quite interested in the psycology of it all.

I have wondered about this too. I think it is about having confidence and sass.

A house, car, and disposable income. I can think of at least 5 average (by society's standards) looking women that have good looking partners. The men bring nothing to the table other than broad shoulders and cock. The women on the other hand, are funny, kind, intelligent, hard working, conscientious and have their shit together.

I’m quite ugly really.

Fortunately I’m very amusing and interesting.

If it were all about looks I’d have been alone my whole life.

Wow, I don’t know any men who like this at all. That’s interesting. Men I speak to hate the feel of thick heavy lipstick or gloss when they kiss a woman. The want to sensation of actual lips!! Also a woman’s natural scent without perfume is an aphrodisiac. I never met a guy who likes overly fake in my entire life!!! The men I know are somewhat repelled by this.

Fit, toned, happy and healthy, groomed with great hair. She knows what suits her and sticks to it. She wears her hair around her face to soften her features.

And clearly has had a load of cosmetic surgery!

A guy I was at uni with has met Kate Middleton, and he is very clear that in his opinion, she is utterly stunning and William is an incredibly lucky man.

A pulse?

I think it's pheromones pure and simple

Being a human woman. If ordinary-looking people weren't attractive, the human race would have died out long ago.

I think that mass media in general and the internet in particular have given us the idea that attracting a partner is about being in competition with the most beautiful women in the world rather than connecting as one human to another. It's effectively a way of thinking that reaches it's logical conclusion in the incel mindset.

Absolutely this. In spite of the evidence all around us that normal-looking and below-averagely attractive people can and do find partners all the time and always have. It's frankly ridiculous to find that surprising when the whole human race has been doing it forever.

Don't we find people attractive if they have some similar features to us? Or to a loved family member? I remember reading years ago that what we think we like isn't necessarily what we're attracted to. In my head, I was attracted to Brad Pitt types c.1990s, or skinny, indie boys. But I've always ended up with men only just taller than me (I'm 5,9)but quite stocky.

I had the biggest boobs of all my friends as a teen, and I was tall and slim but all the lads went for the small girls. I did wear glasses though, which was a massive no no.

I Used to go regularly to a night club with my boyfriend when I was in my thirties, many many years ago.

There was a group of girls that was often there. There was one girl that always stood out to me.

She always looked like she was having the most fun imaginable. Truly the ‘dance like no one is looking’. Yes it was a nightclub and possibly she was drunk, but I don’t think it was that.

All night long she was approached by guys, but she was there just to enjoy herself with her girlfriends, so each and everyone of the men got turned away.

At the time I was pretty cynical and thought the male attention was because they thought she was drunk and would be ‘easy’ to shag.

But now I’m older I think it was her zest for life that made her so attractive.

I don’t remember any of her friends, and I can’t remember her face, I just remember how joyful she seemed.

She never did anything that was even ‘drunk looking’, she was just having a wonderful time on and off the dance floor.

Also I think attraction can be quite mixed. If i still put posters up on my wall it would be one type of look (pretty boys) but irl I fancy another type of look (dusty builder, lived in face). But really I'll shag owt me.

IME a lot of men go for women who are pretty but not stunning, average height and weight, friendly and neat, good sense of humour but not too outlandish. In other words, the girl next door.

Although saying that, a friend of mine used to have to beat men off; she's genuinely into a lot of "male" hobbies : old cars, mountain biking, supports a particular football team and has a season ticket. She's tubby and certainly nothing special but men clearly liked her anyway.

It takes all sorts and thankfully so because if we were only attracted to one type, we would die out pretty soon as a species.

Being happy and not giving a monkey’s what other people think.

Do I take it from that that you don’t agree?

Do you want to attract them all or just one?

Men that I've been with definitely have a type and it's often to do with their childhoods. My daughter's father always goes for tall, blonde (5ft 8- 5ft 10) women who wear a certain high powered look and are often managers and like being in control. I'm the opposite of all this and I'm petite and 11 years younger than him and he was never comfortable with me.

I was going to say this.

I'm going to go with confidence and self esteem.

I'm not particularly picky when it comes to looks, I've been out with women of all shapes, sizes and looks over the years.

The ones who were most attractive to me were the ones who believed they were beautiful, and didn't need anyone else's validation to believe it. The most "classic" Hollywood beauty I went out with on the other hand needed constant reassurance, it was a huge turn off and I split up with her after a couple of months because of it.

Confidence. Men won’t say it, but based on personal data I can tell you I have been approached way more in the last 2 years since I have gotten more confident. I look pretty much the same apart form I am better dressed. I do think having a good figure and dressing for it helps a lot but in some ways that’s tied to confidence. Two things I have always get compliments on: my glasses and my hair. Normally along the lines of “your glasses really suit you”. Also when I stopped straightening my hair, I got a lot of compliments along the lines of “oh curly hair looks so much better”. Even tho my hair is shorter now (just below shoulder length) and it used to be half way down my back. It does look healthier as well which is part of it.

I think you are being too selective. Unless the man is used to attracting particularly stunning women, I would say most men would say
Average build. Little excess body fat is not even noticed
Decent rack
Decent butt
5'0-5'8 but outside of this is ok too
Natural looking hair
Subtle makeup
Smiley
Not too stressful

I think most men are just thrilled that someone relatively normal has noticed them

I agree! Isn’t that at least part of what makes great dancers so attractive?

😂😂😂

This is the best comment I've seen so far!

Who cares indeed!

OP you are worth way more than a man's attention and attraction.

I can only speak from my own experience, but I've always been seen as a bit too "intimidating" to men, I've often been told this by many of them. And I can only imagine it's due to my "I don't need a man" attitude and my confidence, (one man told me that if I was a bit quieter he'd really be into me) honestly I've never wanted to dull myself down for men or even attempt to change myself. I met my DH and he absolutely loves how I am, admires it. Attraction is subjective.