What do you think makes an ordinary looking woman attractive?

[Trainbother]

To a man?

I've obviously been clicking on the wrong things because my FB feed is full of "do these three things to attract a man".

Mostly they seem completely bonkers, things like wear red.

It's made me think though. Obviously ordinary women do attract men, what kinds of things make them (us?) stand out enough to draw him to her?

I'm not really looking for hints 🤣 but I'm quite interested in the psycology of it all.

I think there are beautiful women that only other women admire (looks) ie Kate Moss, Kate Middleton. I don't think they're high up on men's radars.

Maybe they're the same as us though? I have an imprint of what turns my head. But if a man is kind and funny I'll at least pay attention until / if I spot something that i hate which would be judgemental, unkind, very stupid.

I know a man is more attractive to me if he makes me feel safe and important.
Surely for men it's also more about the feeling you give them rather than your looks?

Pretty much all men would be attracted to standard beauty, which is kind of obvious really.
But not all men are good looking enough to get the pretty girl so they meet their match ( so to speak ) most couples are similar in looks.

Definitely no man in my friendship groups have ever gone for a women like you describe. This is probably snobby but I wonder if it's a class thing? The men I know who are all university educated and well traveled have all gone for slim, successful and interesting woman. Not a fake boob or trout pout between them.

8 billion people (officially) currently on the planet so of course they're all going to be attracted to exactly the same things. Over 60 million in the UK alone....

I think they are all valid things, yes, but there also has to be something more intimate and flirtatious going on, at some level. That can start with humour often, or it can start with a conversation where you open up and start to feel a bit closer.

When I was single I found that talking about dating could help, to make sure men I was meeting would see me in that way and notice that side of me. e.g. I would have a moan about some creep I met on online dating platform, or just about how hard it is to find a good man etc.

If they are already attracted to your personality, you just need to find a way to point out your intimate side and get them to imagine that with you. It's also a confidence thing I think.

I can only really comment on DP, and he’s in his sixties now, but he always says it was how I was bringing up my DD that first drew his attention….she was only a toddler when we met and I’d spell out letters on road signs and talk to her about swallows migrating or how you make jam when we picked blackberries…he gives me the enormous compliment that I reminded him somehow of his much loved mother who sadly died when he was at school.
So that made him first notice me, then he loved my (saggy, middle aged) bum, and my (saggy, middle aged) boobs, that I don’t wear makeup apart from at work, I don’t dye my hair, I’m strong, that I’m intelligent and pro-active like him. He told all his mates when he found out I could (and would) lift bags of potatoes or coal if need be - a lot of women do an “I’m so weak” persona way before health issues mean they truly are. I always say I don’t ‘need’ a man.
He’d been single for yonks before he met me, is very attractive and kind and I still after all these years together can’t believe the women around here who I believe are more conventionally attractive than me (slimmer, fake blonde, false nails, etc) didn’t manage to turn his eye.
Our attraction to each other was, and remains, incredibly deep.

True or not this made me laugh

A male friend (and ex) told me recently that I appear to be very flirty with men unless they know me and know that's how I talk to everyone. Smiley and interested in what's being said. I said 'i was asking about his new baby!' he said i know, but you don't understand men. I treat men like just people and will chat about gardens, dogs, children. BUT I always get friend zoned 😂

Just normal - and with a smile 😊 No trout pout (it looks horrendous imo), no ‘my face won’t move’ with Botox.

Seriously, someone who accepts who they are. Oh, and more importantly, a lovely personality.

Lol one was supermodel and another bagged future king.

Well, that is bullshit!

Throughout my life I've been a bit of a chameleon as regards my looks. I can look anything from downright ugly to, on rare occasions, head turning.
My first husband once said to me " when you are happy and relaxed you are really something". An unusually perceptive comment from him. I think what he was getting at was self confidence. I'm not usually a confident person but on the rare occasions when I've felt confident and happy in my own skin, not caring about other people's opinions, then that has transformed me into an attractive person.

So yes i think self confidence is a key factor.

I think it's a confidence thing. The way you hold yourself.

I'm a man and I agree we're not into scarves, but I'd say eyes are only marginally more relevant to attractiveness. Pretty sure men only talk about women's eyes because it sounds vaguely romantic and we think it's what you want to hear. I could be wrong and there are a lot of eye enthusiasts out there, but did you ever overhear a group of just men talking about women's eyes?

(To caveat the above, I'm married since forever so any advice i give on the world of dating is probably junk)

😂very true!

My Dp told me that when we got together what made him want to get to know me was my eyes and my smile. He said when I smiled my whole face lit up and he said it was beautiful. Long story short I marry him in 8wks ❤️ I should add to that im not the most confident of people and try to blend into the background

It's obvious of course that straight men are not a hive mind and will go for different things.
So rather than attract "men", just think about what you're looking for in a man, and think about how you present yourself.

I was asking about what makes ordinary looking women attractive though. So things other than looks? Most women do end up married/with partners, if they want them, so there must be something?

Well yes, what makes ordinary women attractive to heterosexual males is the fact that they are female and that humans have a drive to procreate. Not all women are beautiful, so it wouldn't make much sense, evolutionarily speaking, for men only to be attracted to the most attractive women.

As for what makes one ordinary woman more attractive than another ordinary woman, that depends on the individual man's taste (aesthetically and in terms of personality), doesn't it? Not all men find the same things attractive. What seem like attractive levels of confidence to one man might seem bolshy or arrogant to another.

I think attractiveness is across the board: men, women, straight, gay. Smile and eyes

Speaking very generally, mind. But people respond to that

I've heard, over the years, men friends say such a variety of things they find attractive about women:

Big tits
Nice legs
Plenty of chat
Looks like she'd survive a hard winter
Would be a good mum
Really physically strong 💪🏿
Slutty but outwardly respectable
Soft face
Very interesting

Now my list for a husband is this:

Very kind to those with less power than him,
Courteous to everyone,
Honest but diplomatic,
A very low key nature,
Not at all moody,
Adores all kids and dogs,
Loves gardens, gardening, green spaces,
Loves watching telly,
Not insane.

My shagging criteria is:

Dirty blonde hair,
Looks a bit rough (Sean Bean),
Twinkle in the eye.

Horses for courses innit 🤷🏼‍♂️

very feminine appearance: long hair; skirts, heels, makeup. Slim and large boobs. Even if they're average looking, guys can overlook for large breasts and slim body.
(observations of a fat 50 something who used to be slim and has always had big boobs🤣

Also “bubbly” aka big boobs 😃