What do you think makes an ordinary looking woman attractive?

[Trainbother]

To a man?

I've obviously been clicking on the wrong things because my FB feed is full of "do these three things to attract a man".

Mostly they seem completely bonkers, things like wear red.

It's made me think though. Obviously ordinary women do attract men, what kinds of things make them (us?) stand out enough to draw him to her?

I'm not really looking for hints 🤣 but I'm quite interested in the psycology of it all.

No you're right, I don't see myself in that quote. And for good reason, I'm a Man! So I can say with pretty good authority and conviction that I and very few other blokes I know think like you.

"slutty but outwardly respectable"
🙄

Haha it's true 😂 from a very good friend who is a lovely person and complete gentleman.

I think thats only true of a certain type in their 20s. Most men I know, hate that look.

What's a "complete gentleman"? Genuine question!

Neveralonewithaclone · Today 08:15

love your husband list, if you find one that ticks all the boxes give him my number 😄
( just while you’re busy with Sean Bean of course )

Initially someone who looks happy and when getting to know them, personality.

DH doesn't seem to have a type. His previous long-term girlfriend was a redhead, massive boobs, a bit tubby, always laughing (she's still part of his main friendship group so we see her). I'm a brunette, tiny boobs, slim, petite in every way, not sure I'm always laughing but at the same time I'm more upbeat than her. He went out with another girl in the group (about 24 of them) for a few months, she was tall, medium boobs, mousy blonde, a bit of an airhead, very well made up in terms of hair and make up (unlike myself and redhead above).

Hmm very much a feminist and socialist. A polite demeanour, a spirit of genuine generosity. Views all people as absolute equals.

Whats sad about femininity?

Yes, but I don't think men are saying phwoaaarrrrrr about them.

Honestly? Men are generally attracted to feminity in some form. Op you said you are tall and slim with short hair. Is it possible your look (which might be very cool to other women) is too masculine for a lot men?

It might be as simple as dressing a bit more feminine? Brighter or more flattering colours, figure enhancing clothes (doesn't have to be boobs out, short skirts and heels but can be as much as a neckline that's good on you). I always get loads of compliments if I wear coral for example.

I love short hair styles on some women (it is definitely not something I could carry off, I just do not have the face for short hair) but maybe having shorter hair is putting a lot of men off. Many men will say they are into blondes, brunettes, red heads etc so I think hair is very high on their priorities list and maybe they don't see enough of yours.

I don't even think the things I've suggested are particularly shallow of men either. I know how much I appreciate a well dressed man with a flattering haircut, so why shouldn't it be the same for women? Would I want a man with long hair? No. So I can understand a man wanting the opposite.

I didn't say men in general. I also don't give a shit about romance. Perhaps they liked them, perhaps not. But it has been a theme. I have (long standing) FWB arrangements. They can bs me all they want. As long as they know how to use what they've been given and are reasonably interesting so none of us get bored too fast.

👌

Good grooming, nipped in waist, slim ankles and not caked in make up.

What I find difficult is caring about even looking for a relationship when there's no imperative.

Got kids
Got a house
Got dogs
Got friends

And a man who would suit me would be the same. So would do we bring to/want from each other?

Hot sex is what I want from a relationship now.

And nights out and holidays

Lots of posts on this thread have described ‘attractive’ rather than ordinary as per the OP.

For ‘ordinary’ men and women I think it’s a bit like a sorting process and pretty unconscious: man of average attractiveness decides he wants a partner so sees who he can get.

Ultimately, it comes down to knowing that we have female sexual organs a vagina, whether they are covered up by a mini skirt, a pair of scrunch-butt leggings or the loose cotton M&S dress mentioned upthread!

In terms of my own attractiveness, I have shoulder length hair, wide eyes and quite an ‘innocent’ look, even in my late forties. I am married but get a modest amount of male attention, although the men are getting older these days!

But what attracts men to women in general? I’m not sure but when men talk about it with each other (which my DH sometimes repeats) it seems to come down to having a ‘good figure’ e.g big boobs and a slim waist. But that might not be the same as what men individually find attractive.

Meh someone to chat about the merits of planching fruit trees with maybe. And to experiment with canning produce sans botilism.

I EVEN BORE MYSELF

Good hair and being slim. The face doesn't matter as much if your hair is long and nice and you have the body. According to the twenty something boys in my office (who are pretty vile). But that's what they said.

I do agree that a lot of men like a very feminine look and there's nothing wrong with that really.

I was a tomboy all through my teens and had barely any male attention. Then I just kind of changed my style when I started working in different areas, mixing with different people and dressed in a much more feminine way. I was the same person, but seemed to be much more attractive to men and they became a bit of a nuisance. This was back in the 80s when we were told that bum pinching and inappropriate comments at work was 'just the way it is'. 🙄

I think that's probably true.

My DH has never liked long hair though, he says it covers the face too much.

Unfortunately I think slim probably trumps everything, I think men don't like fat women at all.

I also think this is true and it's shit. Some men will have a preference for larger women but I agree that most men probably do not, regardless of what they say.

My ex DH says that he 'went off' me when I put on weight after I had my DC in quick succession. He said that it showed that I didn't care what he thought and should have made more of an effort to please him, despite the fact that I had two babies under 2 who didn't sleep more than two hours at a time. He was much more interested in me 5 years later when I had lost weight. He was a dick though, so ...

🤣 now that made me lol

Me too.