DRY HARD 2: DRY HARDER! Dry January 2024, Thread#2 🧃🧋

[HPLikecraft]

Thread#2...

Let's keep going!

@Neptunium93 I'm really enjoying this book and a massive thank you for the recommendation. The chapter on Alcohol Liver Disease is quite enlightening and may explain why my alcoholic ex is still standing at this stage.

I saw him recently (when I had to have my cat PTS), and - while he is now morbidly obese, has respiratory problems due to fatty build up around the heart, and I can personally testify looks like complete and absolute shit - his liver function tests all came out as normal, apparently. Not sure if that was blood enzymes or full-on fibroscan, but either way it still flies in the face of what you would expect from someone drinking to the extent he is doing.

In some ways it doesn't matter, I suppose. By any measure, he has completely and utterly destroyed himself, his health and his life through alcohol - and whether that manifests in liver disease specifically or not - he is still a walking dead man at this point.

But for the rest of us who are not in that place - and are working on ourselves not to ever get there - it's reassuring that we are not all just teetering on the brink of cirrhosis from, say, a half a bottle a day habit, which was the impression that the quit lit had previously given me. I think I was certainly due a good scare - and David Nutt's book on that was quite fair in presenting risk versus reward - but it's good to have those views challenged, and my conscience eased somewhat as a result!

@wellitywellness would you mind if I asked how much he was drinking to get like that? How do you feel that his behaviour has impacted your own habits or desire to change, it must have been a difficult relationship and experience to go through together

@wellitywellness , I'm glad you like the book.

Sounds like your ex may have just had blood tests. I remember reading (was it in your blog?) that quite often blood tests will be normal in cases where a fibroscan picks up scarring. Either that or he has superhuman folate levels! (I'm definitely going to be taking a folate supplement in future, based on what I've read in the TE book and elsewhere.) I hope he manages to sort himself out - he is definitely one who would benefit from going sober for a long period.

Checking in to say that I haven’t had any booze since the mid week glug from young adult DC’s cider when we went out for food.

Yesterday DP had put a bottle of white wine in the fridge to chill for the evening. Seeing it made me feel a tad resentful that he was trying to get me back into the Saturday night booze habit / assuming that of course that’s what I would be doing. I didn’t experience any temptation at all and had a glass of tonic. And then he didn’t even open the bottle of white for himself. He had a single glass of red from one of those individual mini bottles. Seeing that made me feel like I’ve been living with an enabler all these years and strengthened my resolve that not drinking in the house is the right thing for me.

I had a great night’s sleep last night. Not feeling the after effects of wine during Sunday daytime is such a relief, after so many years of kicking myself every Sunday morning.

I’d be up for a dry Lent thread. But when does it start? I’m signed up to a post dry January drink with a friend, so I’d need to get that in the diary before Ash Wednesday.

@PoppyAndParsnip I still don't honestly know, as what I was seeing was only the very tip of the iceberg. My guess is a couple of bottles of red wine in the evening, and maybe half a bottle of vodka by day - but I genuinely have no idea.

Yes, seeing him destroy himself over time was the absolute primary driver to get my own house in order, as I was acutely aware bad habits were rubbing off...

It was one of the most awful experiences of my life, and one I've found hugely cathartic to write about via previous blog posts - a bunch of which are here:

https://wellitywellness.com/category/divorce/

It still makes me hugely sad to see what he's become from what he once was, and all for what...? It's gained him nothing but the loss of home, wife, job, health and self-respect - and he's still in denial to a ridiculous degree about it. Which is understandable - facing up to it all now at this point would be simply to painful, I think... ARggghghgh.

I'd be keen for a dry lent thread - I have a few planned events throughout that I will be drinking at (big birthdays, wedding) but other than that I'd love to be dry - I've had a fairly wet February so far 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

It's about time I checked in, had planned to do it daily. Well, since my last post 4 or 5 days ago, I have been only slightly damp. Just one large glass of wine on Friday night. Well, I was out with people at a quiz night, so needed to wake my brain up a bit! Came second 😀

Trying to stick to only marginal dampness... i.e. just the occasional glass of wine. The reason I'm still here is that I tend lose self control after a bit, so one drink may lead to another... so reporting in keeps me in check. I'd be very embarrassed to admit to having more than one or two!

Thanks for all your posts everyone. They're all so helpful, every one. Special thanks for the fullness and informativeness of @wellitywellness 's posts and blog links.
I hope you pop up again on DJ2025, Wellity , and everyone else; I'll certainly be here.

I may actually sign up to lent dryness with you, if I can have a day off for my birthday? 😉

Morning all. For anyone still dry, we have passed the 6 week mark as of yesterday. Congratulations 🍾😊For those considering Dry Lent, it starts on Wednesday and runs until 28th March.

Busy few days for me this week so I am looking forward to my first glass of wine come Thursday evening 😃. I expect it will just be the one, and I will be tracking my consumption going forward using the Try Dry app to keep me accountable.

@wellitywellness , I've been reading back over your Hungry Ghosts posts, and a lot of it strikes a chord, in particular the stuff around anxiety and how it is just there, and latches on to the next thing to worry about. Not to mention general existential angst... I'm fortunate to have had no traumas in my early life, and perhaps that's what has prevented me from becoming an addict, rather than a habitual drinker, which is what I think I was. Self awareness is power, and the more we understand ourselves, the more we can recognise our triggers and head them off. DJ has been hugely helpful in this regard, so thanks once again to all posters, especially @HPLikecraft for starting the thread.

I have been to put the recycling bin out. There are 8 empty wine bottles.
2 weeks, 2 people = 2 bottles a week each.
That's an epic reduction 😎
It's still more than the recommended amount, but pre Christmas, it could have been full!

Just a quickie one from me today:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/12/dry-day-43-further-words-of-wisdom/

Day 61 here, still hanging in. I was thinking to have a break and then give up again for Lent, but actually Lent starts on Wednesday I think and we’re already Monday. 🤔

In today's update, Gabore Mate well and truly calls my bluff:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/13/dry-day-44-hungry-ghosts-little-addictions/

Morning all. Day 44 and the finishing line is within sight for me! I must admit I am looking forward to a nice glass of chilled white wine on Thursday. I may try to transition to red wine, but not yet - it just doesn't appeal to me, and it will take time to retrain myself I think.

I've been reading up on the science around red / white wine, and beer (alcoholic / AF), following up from the Tony Edwards book. I was interested in the Hydroxytyrosol connection to the benefits of moderate wine consumption and keen to know whether white wine and AF beers might also offer some benefits (red wine having historically been preferred due to its higher resveratrol content). As it turns out they do. An Italian study found that white wine (especially when consumed alongside olive oil) increased levels of both Tyrosol and HT. A US Study compared red wine with beer, and while they contain a lot less of the good stuff, some beers (e.g. IPA) do increase levels by a measurable amount, however the interesting thing is that AF beer does not have the same effect, which bears out what Edwards says - the alcohol itself is key to obtaining the benefits, at least where HT is concerned.

@vinoandbrie , indeed, Lent starts tomorrow! What with DJ, Lent and Sober Spring, there are very few drinking windows left! 😉

@wellitywellness , oh dear! Please don't stop blogging... there has to be a difference between passion and addiction, otherwise we will all have to give up our favourite pastimes and spend our days staring into the Void 😟!

Well I spectacularly fell off the bus last night! Not sure what the trigger was, but I succumbed to half a bottle of red and mindfully stopped there. No regrets, it was camomile tea from 8.30pm and an early night so I feel fine today. Very strange for a Monday night though!
In comparison to pre DJ, my consumption is WAY down and I'm fine with the 3 pass nights I've had.
Well done to all of you still firmly on it and continuing through Lent 👏👏👏👏👏

I did Dry Jan! I'm so chuffed with myself.

I drank the first weekend of Feb and also last weekend and felt hideous. Barely any sleep and as a result felt wretched on my days off work! So that's it for me now. High days and holidays only from here on in. I don't want to do the Lent thing cos it's my birthday soon and I do want to drink some fizz then (and acknowledge I'll feel pants the following day!)

I've embraced zero lager and gin!

I'm giving up sugar for lent 😬 another thing I am totally addicted to and I wouldn't have even contemplated it if DJ hadn't been so successful.

I've made a bit of a plan for the future. I think I will limit myself to 2 of the mini bottles of wine or Prosecco at the weekend. Probably not every weekend. For special occasions I'll relax the rules a bit. But I never want to go back to the way I was.

Now that's a bit scary. My projects/obsessions are a family joke, you can trace back every single obsession - I cannot achieve without developing an obsession - it's how I function at home and at work - I'm often having to figure shit out that we haven't done before - so I'll get obsessed with finding a solution and it's what stops me from finishing (or starting) the garden (I have struggled to develop an obsession with gardening). It's both a blessing and a curse. I've come to think of it as maybe ADHD. Is it addiction? I don't think so - I usually drop it when enough knowledge has been acquired - funnily enough I'd see the obsessively reading of quit lit as part of it!😂

@asleepattheshop same! I wonder if it is result of a teenage eating disorder, or whether that in itself was the 'egg' of a winder obsessive drive, either one that is inate or was instilled in infancy. If anyone's read my blog more widely (there's way more beyond the DJ stuff), there is a very clear obsessive bent towards exercise and healthy eating. Will be verging on the orthorexic if I'm not careful - perhaps I need wine in the mix after all as a vice to balance me back out again!

And yy to obsessive reading of quit lit too!!

@Neptunium93 I won't! But I may have to try and wind it down a bit, given this recent insight! It does take up a massive amount of time - to the exclusion of a lot of other things...

Well. it's Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent. I am continuing on with being AF but just taking it day to day.
So far, I would say that my face looks 'fresher' and I am enjoying the best run of restorative sleep that I can recall. I am a bit more productive and definitely more 'present' in the lives of those around me. I feel well.
I am appreciating the summaries of others' reading around drinking and addiction. Thank you for sharing.

One for any relatives of addicts out there....

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/14/dry-day-45-relatives-of-addicts/

Last day of my 45 day dry streak 😃😮... It's an odd feeling as it seems, in retrospect, to have gone so quickly. But I'm dealing with a lot of other stuff at the moment, so perhaps that would have been the case anyway.

I've done lots of reading (thanks especially to @wellitywellness for the blogs and book recommendations), which has been fascinating. I've been oscillating between thinking I should probably just give up forever (scared by the propaganda and Quit Litters), to confidence that I can moderate successfully (I've done it before for most of my adult life), all the while needing to understand what's right for me as an individual, physiologically and mentally. I've mentioned before that both of my parents died suddenly of cardio-vascular related issues, and so I have an awareness of my own mortality. On balance the evidence gleaned from Tony Edwards's books and my own behind-the-headline research leads me to conclude that I can't afford NOT to drink. For me, the potential benefits outweigh the risks of becoming addicted. I just have to keep myself on the straight and narrow, without it feeling like a struggle, which I can do.

So the future plan is to drink on 4 nights per week, most likely 3 units on Thursdays and Sundays, and 4 units on Fridays and Saturdays. I have a set of measures, new wine glasses, and the Try Dry app to keep me on track... Will I exceed those limits? Maybe, on occasion. Why have I settled on 14 units? I don't have much faith in the validity of that number, but it's a starting point. I don't want or expect to drink less than that, at any rate.

I will report back after my first drink tomorrow - if it gives me a massive headache I might have to rethink my approach!

Thanks @Neptunium93 - I've really appreciated your input on my posts! I am planning to go to the end of the month, then adopt similar patterns to you moving forward (all going to plan). 14 units is a bottle and a half of wine a week (give or take a unit), which seems realistic to me - absolute max 20 a week is my official upper 'cap' - which is still a massive reduction on what I was drinking before, and seems a lot more sustainable and from a health point of view potential beneficial position.