DRY HARD 2: DRY HARDER! Dry January 2024, Thread#2 🧃🧋

[HPLikecraft]

Thread#2...

Let's keep going!

Hello. Well done everyone who made it to six weeks completely AF.

I was out last night for a family celebration and drank one cocktail. I really enjoyed every mouthful, and was happy to only have the one drink, as my drinking capacity is reduced, and also I focused on actually enjoying it rather than glugging it.

Going forward, I’m clear that the right thing for me is to not drink at home.

Whether I drink when I’m out will depend on the occasion and what’s available. The test will be whether what’s available tastes better with food than the AF alternative.

I’ll continue to hang out on this thread / a successor thread for as long as it keeps going, as I reckon there will be times when I find not drinking in the house a challenge.

On health benefits, I haven’t weighed myself but over the weekend it felt like some of my clothes weren’t as tight on me as they’d become. I’m planning to have a dig through clothes I haven’t been able to wear for a while. If it looks like I’m heading towards being able to fit back into them, that will help to motivate me.

@wellitywellness I have been unfortunate enough to have both parents indulge a little too much in alcohol - there isn't much choice for the child of two addicts. But you do get to the point where you stop begging them to stop, it could be around the same time that you've built your wall is so high you no longer let it hurt you anymore - not sure that's healthy either - it's one of my biggest worries - my Dad died and after the funeral, I thought very little about him and that doesn't seem right.

First night of sugar free lent and it's JUST like the start of dry January, I keep thinking about buns and cakes and chocolate and my hands keep reaching out for something sweet I did it before, I can do it again!

@asleepattheshop I'm really sorry to hear that. At least with a spouse you are able to walk away - physically at least, mentally not so much (had a terrible dream I'd let him move back in again last night - so glad to wake up!); blood relatives it's much harder...

This is my offering today:

http://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/15/dry-day-46-hungry-ghosts-recovery/

A quick check in from me...
My booze-free Lent starts today. I know Lent proper started yesterday, but DH had bought a nice bottle of fizz for valentine's day, so I wasn't going to throw that back in his face!

I'm hoping that I'll be able to get on with my diet now, too.

That would have been very rude @HPLikecraft ! I'm still enjoying the thread ☺️. I'm on half term next week and am away, so I'm giving myself permission to relax - with the caveat of being mindful. I've had 11 dry days in February so far and drank roughly 22 units total, spread out over four days. Given there has been a couple of birthdays and a nic meal in there I'm quite happy with that. It's certainly a reduction!

We had a glass or two of valentines fizz last night, but we didn't move on to red afterwards, which we would have done. Need to drop a weekend night to stick to my 4 AF days per week minimum

It is school holidays and I work in education, so I have had a couple of days off and work is quiet. Normally I would have drank most nights this week, but I only drank on Tuesday. Regretted it after, back AF now and I have some AF Prosecco to have as a treat drink. I enjoy the AF version and don’t have the after effects!

Great to hear all the good reports back on moderation. Went to the pub tonight with work and had two 1/2 pints of beer. It was plenty the old me would have had 2 pints and then come home and had a glass or two of wine. Weirdly not tempted at all, not really sure what’s changed. I’m not complaining - if I had an alcohol free day last year it was because I was hanging, I’ve never moderated so effortlessly. It’s a very lovely thing!

@wellitywellness it really sounds like you’ve been through so much when it comes to seeing people go through addiction, I’m sorry this must have been so hard for you. It’s quite incredible how you’re turning things around and the idea that you’re not using other people’s very high consumption as a way to justify your own is both brave and commendable. I hope you’re finding that this experience is helping you to heal as well, if that isn’t too much of a therapy type word?!

I really surprised with how used to things I’m becoming now, I’m now on an 8 day streak AF. I went to docs today and my BP was normal (albeit higher end of range)… and I’m quite sure that had I had it done on December alarm bells would have been ringing. Everything felt wrong. That was quite a motivating experience

Morning all...

My dry streak ended as planned... I had 250ml of 12.5% Pinot Grigio (3.1 units) last night before / during dinner. I must admit it was an effort to drink it all and I didn't really enjoy it. It tasted stronger than I remember - as if someone had spiked it with a shot of vodka! But I slept fine and there were no adverse effects this morning, which is good news.

I don't think I'll be able to manage my planned 4 units this evening, so it's back to the drawing board. Does anyone have any thoughts on mixing beer and wine? I've always avoided it for fear of digestive issues, but I'm wondering if an AF beer followed by a small amount of wine with dinner might be OK.

Really hoping I haven't gone off wine for good! 😕

Neptunium93 have you considered swapping the 12.5% wine for a lighter alcohol version?
If Sauv Blanc is OK, I have found The Doctors (available in Waitrose) at 9% passable. I see that there are more lighter alcohol wines on the shelves at Sainsburys too, but I haven't tried any.

Thanks @pollyannaperspective , yes I do (did?) like sauvignon blanc, so I will investigate the Doctors range. I've been wary of low alcohol wines in the past as they often have more sugar, but I think I read that vinho verde has very little sugar, so that might be OK. This also might be an opportunity to retrain myself to prefer a small amount of red over a larger amount of white.

@PoppyAndParsnip thank you and yes - incredibly therapeutic / cathartic!

Cheers @Neptunium93 - interesting to hear that your tolerance has gone down in just a few weeks. Definitely a good thing that 'less is more'.

A bit of naval gazing for me today:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/16/dry-day-47-relationship-with-addiction/

The rain and fog have finally lifted here in South Wales, which makes it much easier to feel strong, positive and self disciplined!
Have had a cold swim, a long walk with DDog and given blood today already, so feeling virtuous. Looking forward to a nice, dry weekend, even though I have visitors again (both adult DDs and their boyfriends).

Have a good weekend, dry and damp folk alike. 😊

Morning all. A revisit to the topic of 'what is a an alcoholic' today, and the futility of that question in the first place:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/17/dry-day-48-labels/

This is a great read, it really speaks to me, thank you!

Day 66 AF here, and hoping to carry on for a bit yet.

Thanks @wellitywellness , I can honestly answer No to all of those questions (aside from Q1 in my college years!), which may explain why I find so much of the Quit Lit doesn't chime with me, whereas the science-based stuff, and the Mate book are fascinating. For me, the latter gets to the bottom of why alcohol is a problem for some but not all. For most heavy drinkers, it's a habit that can be broken / moderated relatively easily, unlike my coffee addiction😉!

No wine last night. Tried the 0.5% Ghost Ship pale ale. It was a 500ml bottle, which amounts to 0.25 units, so not a totally dry night, but close enough. It has a really strong flavour and colour, so would possibly appeal to a beer connoisseur. Having tried a few, my favourite is the UNLTD, with ON Beer in second place.

Trying a slightly lighter wine tonight (Sauvignon blanc 12%). Ordering some red wine for next week. Will report back.

Have good weekends all 😊.

Bit of a long and rambly one from me today - off the back of reading all Gabor Mate's other works, which stress the link between trauma, environment, culture and disease. Not in a 'bad vibes cause cancer' BS new age-y way, but a scientifically informed view of the world, based on an increased understanding of body-mind unity and the complex interplay between the mental and physical.

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/18/dry-day-49-gabor-mate-other-works/

I'm back on the dry train tonight to make up for Valentines Day.
I'm still sticking with a minimum of 4 dry days per week, although it's half-term this week, and I have a couple of things arranged with friends, so that may be more of a challenge.
Normally, school hols and a week off work would lead to everyday drinking, so it will be better than that, no matter what happens!

On the alcoholic label - I don't like it, it's a horrible word, it is not a word that is ever delivered kindly. I think is it always used in judgment - whether in judging yourself (most often by someone who has gone AF) or others.
The spectrum of alcohol abuse and impact is huge but this word always conjures up images of the extreme - uncontrolled and desperate. I don't think it's helpful to associate yourself with those extremes. However there seems to be a movement of people trying to broaden the term, to make it less extreme, so more people can identify as an alcoholic and get help.
I think we just need a different word/phrase that people can identify their experience with. We don't need to accept we are alcoholics before we can ask for help.

3 units of 12% Sauvignon Blanc last night, which went down nicely. Weird that the Pinot Grigio the other night tasted so much more potent. Not sure about tonight. I've amended my Try Dry goal from fixed non-drinking days to 6 weeks of 'low risk' drinking, i.e. sticking to the 14 units, which feels achievable and means I don't feel forced to drink / not drink on a particular night.

@wellitywellness , that's a lot to absorb... My aunt died of pancreatic cancer, triggered by the trauma of losing her husband and son, which led to loneliness, excessive drinking, and then the disease itself, which all makes sense in the context of Mate's writings. But I feel more positive than him about the world and our ability to solve problems and thrive in it. Do our personalities have to be completely authentic in order to be healthy? I'm not so sure, and don't know if complete authenticity is even possible. Our adaptability is one of our greatest strengths, whether innate or a response to a stressor. I do think it's possible to find yourself in a situation (job, relationship, whatever) that is so at odds with your core personality that it creates massive stress. But then I think of plants, and how the substances they form when they are under attack can have healing properties, or how fasting creates a stress in our bodies that ultimately promotes health. That which does not kill us makes us stronger...

@Neptunium93 I also don't think complete authenticity is possible, but it's an intriguing possibility!

On an unrelated note, I have my Fibroscan booked in for tomorrow. Shitting myself slightly at what I might find out.

Reading David Nutt, I'm probably about to drop dead, based on consumption levels till the end of 2023. According to Tony Edwards, I'll likely get away clean.

Tomorrow will tell - but I'm not going to lie, I'm bricking it completely at this point.