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Original poster

Teenagers and NYE

209 replies

chatenoire · 13/12/2023 08:48

Some very good family friends have invited us to their NYE party. Obviously we'd love to go, but our 13yo DD has decided that she's not coming.

I can't force her so the only options are that she stays at home or we stay at home with her. Neither option sounds ideal, so I really don't know what to do.

OP posts:
TheBraves · 13/12/2023 08:56

Is she happy to stay at home alone? How far away would you be and what time would you be back? Could she have a friend over for the night?

I think if she’s happy and you check in a couple of times, it’s fine to leave her.

PepperIsHere · 13/12/2023 08:57

Can she go to a friend's for a sleepover?

FrenchandSaunders · 13/12/2023 08:59

As above, how far away will you be? Is she sensible or likely to have a few mates round and raid your drinks cabinet?

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13 year olds
Original poster
chatenoire · 13/12/2023 09:05

We'll only be an 8-10 min drive / 30min walk so it's not too bad. Her friends live around a 30min drive away so it's not that a bunch of them will come over and raid our drinks cabinet (she only likes ble Curacao).

She's looking at having a sleepover at a friend's house, but no joy so far.

We've thought of a friend of hers coming over, but I don't know if the parents would be that comfortable knowing that they'll be left by themselves all night.

OP posts:
onebyonetheythenleft · 13/12/2023 09:07

I have a similar dilemma. I couldn't leave my DC (who is 15) at home alone on NYE. They would be fine but morally it would feel wrong. We should be together seeing the NY in with each other. Until the time comes that they are old enough to go out with friends that is. We will stay at home and play games, have nice food, drinks etc and if DC wants to join in then that's great but if not then that is fine too. I couldn't bear the thought of DC home alone NYE at midnight; the rest of the world is partying but DC is alone. Nope, never.

beautifullittletree · 13/12/2023 09:08

I wouldn't go, I would decline the invite and spend NYE at home. I appreciate I'm probably the outlier here but we have never left the house on Christmas Day or Hogmany. From the minute my oldest was born those 2 days were set in stone basically - family time.

Celebrationsnakes · 13/12/2023 09:09

onebyonetheythenleft · 13/12/2023 09:07

I have a similar dilemma. I couldn't leave my DC (who is 15) at home alone on NYE. They would be fine but morally it would feel wrong. We should be together seeing the NY in with each other. Until the time comes that they are old enough to go out with friends that is. We will stay at home and play games, have nice food, drinks etc and if DC wants to join in then that's great but if not then that is fine too. I couldn't bear the thought of DC home alone NYE at midnight; the rest of the world is partying but DC is alone. Nope, never.

This. I have a 13yo and wouldn't be leaving him alone on NYE.

TheBraves · 13/12/2023 09:09

they'll be left by themselves all night.

What time would you be home?

Original poster
chatenoire · 13/12/2023 09:11

onebyonetheythenleft · 13/12/2023 09:07

I have a similar dilemma. I couldn't leave my DC (who is 15) at home alone on NYE. They would be fine but morally it would feel wrong. We should be together seeing the NY in with each other. Until the time comes that they are old enough to go out with friends that is. We will stay at home and play games, have nice food, drinks etc and if DC wants to join in then that's great but if not then that is fine too. I couldn't bear the thought of DC home alone NYE at midnight; the rest of the world is partying but DC is alone. Nope, never.

Exactly it's the significance behind it. If she was with a friend I'd be ok, but not alone.

OP posts:
ShipSpace · 13/12/2023 09:13

Absolutely no way in the world would I leave a 13 year old to see the new year in alone just because the evening I would prefer to have as an adult is not suitable for her.

Your parenting years are not over yet, I’m afraid.

Topseyt123 · 13/12/2023 09:13

I'd decline the invitation, but I am not a party animal anyway. That way you and DD spend it together.

I'm always glad when the Christmas and New Year week is out of the way.

MaggieFS · 13/12/2023 09:14

Well she clearly doesn't give a shit about the significance or she'd be going with you?

ShipSpace · 13/12/2023 09:15

MaggieFS · 13/12/2023 09:14

Well she clearly doesn't give a shit about the significance or she'd be going with you?

Mental

Whataretheodds · 13/12/2023 09:15

I can understand how it would be better for her to go eg to a friend's for a sleepover but if not then I don't get how she can just block your plans.

Could she take a friend to the NYE party you're invited to? Will there be anyone her age there?

Evenstar · 13/12/2023 09:17

My children are older now, but I wouldn’t have even asked a 13 year old whether they wanted to go out on NYE, the invitation would have been accepted by us as parents at that age and we would all have gone.

Has she given any reason for not wanting to go?

LyingLikeACheapCarpet · 13/12/2023 09:17

MaggieFS · 13/12/2023 09:14

Well she clearly doesn't give a shit about the significance or she'd be going with you?

I hope you don't have teenagers.

I agree with most of the above, no I wouldn't leave a 13 year old alone. I wouldn't even leave her overnight with a friend staying.

Original poster
chatenoire · 13/12/2023 09:19

Whataretheodds · 13/12/2023 09:15

I can understand how it would be better for her to go eg to a friend's for a sleepover but if not then I don't get how she can just block your plans.

Could she take a friend to the NYE party you're invited to? Will there be anyone her age there?

I did offer this, as I know that would be fine, but my DD said it would be awkward.

Our friends have a spare granny flat and they offered it to us for the night (which is why we'd be back the next morning).

OP posts:
Frenchfancy · 13/12/2023 09:19

ShipSpace · 13/12/2023 09:13

Absolutely no way in the world would I leave a 13 year old to see the new year in alone just because the evening I would prefer to have as an adult is not suitable for her.

Your parenting years are not over yet, I’m afraid.

This.

Friedtofuandbeans · 13/12/2023 09:19

I would see if a friend could come over - if you were home by 12.30-1am I’d be happy for my daughter to do that. I don’t see any particular significance in NYE so wouldn’t bother me at all - I’d be delighted in fact, would be more fun for them and you get to have a nice evening too. Win win! But only if you’re back not long after midnight as they’re too young to be alone longer than that.

Whataretheodds · 13/12/2023 09:21

Could she take a friend to the NYE party you're invited to? Will there be anyone her age there?
I did offer this, as I know that would be fine, but my DD said it would be awkward.

Well then she can come by herself and bring a tablet with stuff to watch, or a book? She can hang out in the Granny flat.

TheBraves · 13/12/2023 09:23

Our friends have a spare granny flat and they offered it to us for the night (which is why we'd be back the next morning).

Oh god, I definitely wouldn’t leave her overnight at 13, that's not ok. I thought if you were back at 1am ish and she was happy, it was possible. Overnight, absolutely not!

Hollyhead · 13/12/2023 09:28

You’re giving her too much leeway, especially as you’ve offered for her to take a friend. If you want to go she has to go with you, end of!

But then with my concessional hat on…Could one option be go to the party but not stay the whole night and be back about 10.30 to see the new year in with her.

MaggieFS · 13/12/2023 09:31

@LyingLikeACheapCarpet No, no teenagers here.

FWIW, I wouldn't leave a 13yo alone overnight, but the OP doesn't seem worried about anything to do with that, only the significance. That's what prompted my post. If that's the only concern, then what's the issue?

MaggieFS · 13/12/2023 09:33

Our friends have a spare granny flat and they offered it to us for the night (which is why we'd be back the next morning).

I think this would potentially seem very rude to the hosts, but if she doesn't want to go and just wants to stay at home, why can't she do whatever she'd do at home in the granny flat?

(And as per pp, no I don't have a teenager! I'm just applying my own logic!)

Original poster
chatenoire · 13/12/2023 09:53

Yeah, I've suggested she takes her switch, but then she says she'd rather be at home with the cat (which is fair enough as she absolutely adores our kitty cat).

OP posts: